There is a nice synergy between Tottenham's stadium plans and their latest transfer target.

More Stories

• Arsenal 'have cash to compete'
• Rooney at United 'for life'

Spurs have released details of their 'revised' plans for their new 60,000-seater ground. The bad news is that still you'll have to walk for half an hour from the nearest tube, but the good news is that there will be an ice rink next door.

Coincidentally, 60,000 is the weekly wage that manager Harry Redknapp is prepared shell out on Real Madrid left-back Gabriel Heinze, according to the Daily Express.

Redknapp has seemingly identified Gareth Bale's winless league record for Spurs and Benoit Assou-Ekotto's Bride of Frankenstein hairdo as the key reasons for his team's travails this season, and the 30-year-old Argentine as the answer.

The former Manchester United defender will cost Spurs £4 million, as Real are keen to recoup some of the £8m they forked out for him before he becomes eligible for a free transfer next year.

Another chisel-cheeked former United man, goalkeeper Roy Carroll , wants out of Derby County after bemoaning the fact he has fallen down the Rams pecking order, so says The Sun.

The sometime Northern Ireland international is still only 31, and Portsmouth are reportedly interested in bringing him in as understudy to David James.

The Mirror reckons that Manchester City boss Mark Hughes is busy getting his axe-wielding arm in top shape, with over a dozen players facing the chop come the summer.

Oh, sorry, you want names? Well, apparently (sharp intake of breath) Darius Vassell, Benjani, Felipe Caicedo, Ched Evans, Kasper Schmeichel, Michael Ball, Tal Ben Haim, Danny Mills , Didi Hamann, Gelson Fernandes, Elano and Kelvin Etuhu are all on their way out.

The same paper also reports that Everton and Aston Villa will do battle for the right to hand Fulham £3m in exchange for midfielder Dickson Etuhu.

If, by the time you read this, Alan Shearer's appointment as Newcastle manager has not been exposed as an elaborate hoax that puts April Fool's Day back on the map, then it's time to start speculating over the forthcoming ins and outs at St James' Park.

However, what with the news breaking quite late, Fleet Street hasn't had sufficient time to conjure up anything too outlandish yet, so you'll have to make do with the news Big Al will compensate for his complete lack of management experience by appointing good pal and fellow coaching novice Rob Lee as his assistant.

As is plainly obvious here, any international week is soundtracked as much by Gossip Shop's desperate barrel-scraping as it is by renditions of the Great Escape theme by tone-deaf trumpeters.

So, in the absence of any transfer news, there is the news Liverpool have opened talks with skipper Steven Gerrard over a new four-year deal, while Manchester United's Wayne Rooney has gone further by expressing his wish to be at the club until his mid-30s.