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Of course, these are the same beer-gutted geezers who stand there swigging Stella and munching crisps while calling Rooney and Lampard fat, but never mind.

Anyway, Sven has wasted no time in ringing the changes at City, and as a man who has won as many league titles as he has had scandalous knee-tremblers, things are looking good for the blue half of Manchester.

Today's capture of Brazil international playmaker Elano and two towering defenders in Croatian Vedran Corluka and Spaniard Javi Garrido bring his total acquisitions to seven in his short time at Eastlands. They look set to be joined soon by Bulgarian striker Valeri Bojinov from Fiorentina.

Bojinov joined Serie A Lecce as a youth player, and was so highly rated that he made his debut in Italy's top flight at the age of just 15, proof if it were needed that the ageing Transfer Talk's prospects of a professional football career are even slimmer than it first imagined.

Unforunately for current City incumbent Darius Vassell, it seems that he hasn't passed Thaksin Shinawatra's fit and proper person test, and will be offloaded to anyone at all for some loose change and a boiled sweet found from a bout of pocket-rummaging.

The Roman Abramovich equivalent of that could see Sevilla's Dani Alves move to Chelsea for £19 million, and the Brazilian defender is even willing to take a pay cut to join the Russian billionaire's quest for the Champions League next season.

A pay cut? At Chelsea? Tell that to Arjen Robben, who, with the help of his agent father, has decided that £90,000 is not enough to keep him at the Bridge, paving the way for Real Madrid to splash the cash, and maybe even snatch Feyenoord's Royston Drenthe from under the Blues' collective nose while they're at it.

The big news at another spend happy London club is that Kieron Dyer will divorce Newcastle and will attach himself to West Ham in order to keep himself in the £80,000-a-week lifestyle to which he has become accustomed.

Derby boss Billy Davies will not play ball with the Hammers though, as he has dismissed their £3 million bid for County teenager Giles Barnes as derisory.

Sunderland boss Roy Keane has received another slap in the face today, as it has emerged that Alan Smith is to hold talks with local rivals Newcastle, after not even listening to Keane's own approach for him.

In days gone by, Keane would have responded to being so besmirched with a fiery tirade and a broken limb or two, but is now so desperate that he will willingly be taken to the cleaners for Tottenham's Mido and Hearts keeper Craig Gordon, at £6 million and £8.5 million respectively.

Spurs' captain Ledley King has been ruled out for at least two months due to his constant knee problems, so expect them to step up their bid for West Brom's Curtis Davies and five other centre backs picked at random soon.

Meanwhile, Reading close in on Nantes midfielder Emerson Fae to replace Chelsea's token Brit Steve Sidwell, Liverpool's Anthony Le Tallec (yes, he's still a Liverpool player) will make his loan deal at Sochaux permanent, Fulham will offer £1 million for Sami Hyypia, Middlesbrough are in for Sean Davis and Newcastle fancy the Premiership's best named player, Papa Bouba Diop.

Tony Mabert / Eurosport