Transfers - Gossip Shop: Alone and pensive

Eurosport - Thu, 02 Oct 17:53:00 2008

Cristiano Ronaldo may not be long for this country, according to The Sun's Neil Custis, based on a transformation from banter merchant to sullen loner in a few short months.

2008-2009 Manchester United Cristiano Ronaldo - 0

Despite failing to track down an unnamed source, Custis claims Ronaldo cut a miserable figure during Manchester United's trip to Denmark earlier this week.

He "sat alone and pensive" on the flight to Aalborg, "stood apart from his team-mates" on arrival, and failed to enjoy a game of piggy in the middle during training.

About as conclusive as proof gets, really. Real Madrid it is. January.

Gossip Shop is a right sulk when subjected to the unique hell of air travel, and is only pleased it has nobody analysing its routinely murderous body language by the baggage carrousel.

When the Gossip Shop doesn't know anything about a player, the first thing it does is to look up anagrams of his name.

In that spirit, Bursaspor striker Inimical Dryers (Sercan Yildirim to his friends) claims Manchester United will sign him in a £5m deal.

"United have contacted my family and the president of the club," he said. Hopefully not in that order, otherwise the tapping-up police will be performing a dawn raid Chez Fergie.

Jermaine Jenas is an England international who has already commanded £12m in transfer fees over his career.

Nevertheless, there is something strangely unexciting about the news that Sunderland are weighing up a January bid for him.

Jenas left north-east neighbours Newcastle in 2005 complaining that it was like living in a "goldfish bowl", but would reportedly rather live in a cramped, water-filled globe and eat nothing but fish flakes than spend another minute at crisis club Spurs.

It's a sign of the times that Gossip Shop can place stories about two men named Jermaine next to each other without batting an eyelid (only it just has).

Jermaine Pennant is apparently not wanted by Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp, who did a pretty poor job of concealing his desire to involve the Liverpool winger in some outlandish wheeler-dealing.

"I like Pennant. He's a good player, a great crosser of the ball and he's definitely got quality," said 'Arry.

"But I can't say I have thought about signing him. In fact, I have not thought about anybody really, to be honest." Of course you haven't...

The Daily Star have finally twigged that this credit crunch business is pretty serious, and have devoted their front page to the financial crisis.

They yell: 'BUSTS ARE GOING BOOM - Breast news for weeks..UK boobs are getting bigger'. Not when people can't afford to feed themselves, they won't be.

The Daily Mirror should apply for a job in some doomed City establishment, given their talent for creative accounting.

The story is this: Aston Villa have offered £6 million plus Marlon Harewood for Reading's Kevin Doyle.

No surprises there, except that the Mirror rate Harewood at a hefty £4m, taking the total value of the deal into eight figures.

Why not just call Harewood £80m and break the world record?

Huddersfield headmaster Paul Gittins has risked the wrath of the coffee-hugging, kaftan-wearing educational establishment after making a shocking admission.

Gittins confessed he gave Reuben Noble-Lazarus "a playful clip around the earhole" when the 15-year-old returned to school following his Barnsley debut.

Monster.

Two unnamed youth players have been banned for five and three months by the FA after testing positive for cocaine.

Naughty boys, but not a patch on NFL star Travis Henry, who has been arrested on suspicion of involvement in a "multi-kilogram cocaine transaction".

Finally, Brian Howard has told Barnsley he will make like a French public servant and go on strike unless he is allowed to move to Sheffield United.

Not that French public servants are striking over the right to play at Bramall Lane, but you get the idea.

Alex Chick / Eurosport

Comment 28 - 47 of 47

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  1. "United have contacted my family and the president of the club," he said. Hopefully not in that order, otherwise the tapping-up police will be performing a dawn raid Chez Fergie.

    Nothing new there then....except you are wrong. Everyone knows Manure bribe people, INCLUDING the FA

    From D, on Fri 3 Oct 1:28AM

  2. he is thinking
    "oh bum oh boob

    i will sulk all day i think i say

    so that fergi will pay"

    From dalekcool, on Thu 2 Oct 8:20PM

  3. Interestin observation unjustjules.

    I wonder if nike has much sway in that regard. if they do thats one helluva a good point

    From romanopip, on Thu 2 Oct 7:34PM

  4. Look at thierry henry. The move to Spain did his career wonders. NOT. Ronaldo will be making the same mistake.

    From stevejannicole, on Thu 2 Oct 7:12PM

  5. Give me strength this story is never going to go away.As a Man U supporter i would hate to see Ronaldo leave and i will be very surprised if he ever does,why would he?At Old Trafford he plays in front of over 76000 fans every single match,the crowd love him,he is playing with a higher quality of player than he would at Real.Real average around 50000 fans per match unless they are playing Barca,the board at Real are all mad,how Calderon has kept his job after all the lies he has told the Real fans is beyond me.Most importantly Nike will do everything they can to make sure the most exciting footballer in the world does not sign for an Adidas club so expect a press release at some point this season announcing that Ronaldo is to become the highest paid player in the world.Unfortunately its all about the money.

    From unjustjules, on Thu 2 Oct 6:34PM

  6. i think ronaldo should pack his bags!before head is too big 2 get on the plane!!

    From kelvyn.hall@..., on Thu 2 Oct 6:28PM

  7. i was at d viilareal manu game n he and d other players had a mad game of piggy in d middle b4 it,,,does dat mean hes staying,,get a life u dopes

    From carragherfan23, on Thu 2 Oct 6:10PM

  8. Ronaldo should be in swim with michael phelps because ronaldo is a TRULY DIVER....

    From badboyz, on Thu 2 Oct 6:06PM

  9. I'm a friend of Ronaldo also and I've been told he's a diver, a cheater and a @#$%
    But you don't need to believe me

    From blacheny, on Thu 2 Oct 5:56PM

  10. Ronaldo, to his mate (now you know its fiction) "I'm donna dive off to Real Madrid soon". Well, nothing new there, then. ExWulfrunian.

    From michael.norgrove, on Thu 2 Oct 5:53PM

  11. Just ANOTHER article written by English media scumbags! Who are you building up to destroy this time you vile, worthless, @#$%? This WHOLE article is @#$% rumours probably started by some little journalist idiot! "Gossip Shop: Alone and pensive" EXACTLY what you sound like Alex Chick / Eurosport!

    From concerned, on Thu 2 Oct 5:28PM

  12. if u no the Politic's of Football how the Hell is a Club like Real gonna go through the Shame of Signing a Footballer that played game's with them all Summer!!He will be at Man U for another couple of season's yet

    From atkinsonpedro@..., on Thu 2 Oct 4:57PM

  13. I met a man in Tescos last night whose mother's aunty's cousin's friend told her in the hairdressers that Winker had told her he was miserable as he could not be in Madrid by Xmas. What a load of absolute nonsense all this stuff is, and it just makes the bighead even more bigheaded. I have said this before on this site that if my mate got me sent off in the World Cup he would not be a mate anymore and I would not hug him on the training ground. The sooner we see the back of Ronnie the better. Good riddance to the high diver I say. Please believe me I am not a fan of any particular team.

    From taff, on Thu 2 Oct 4:36PM

  14. the sun?

    the sun?

    not so much a pinch of salt with this story more like a salt mountain.....

    From longerfellow666, on Thu 2 Oct 4:32PM

  15. He'll be moving all the way to Manchester (City that is) in Jan

    From robert J, on Thu 2 Oct 4:31PM

  16. doubt it!

    From doubt.it.man, on Thu 2 Oct 4:29PM

  17. Believe you me, Ron has already gone to Madrid. Man U is also mourning. Sorry for all ur jibberings.

    From dallier4you, on Thu 2 Oct 4:19PM

  18. Mock me all you like, but I am a friend of Christiano's and I've been told he's staying with Manchester United fir the rest of his career. A move to Spain was 'his dream', but there was only one club Christiano wanted to join and that was Real Madrid. After he finally snubbed them after flirting with them all summer, I am told that Real are not happy about Christiano's behaviour and therefore have pulled out of trying to sign him from Manchester Untied. Now that Real have distanced themselves from the player, he has now decided that Manchester United is the only club for him. Sir Aex Ferguson played a huge part in convincing Christiano to stay at Old Trafford, so if you are a Manchester United fan, then you have the manager to thank.

    I am not a Manchester United or Real Madrid fan, so it makes no difference to me who wins the league. I support Benifica.

    From oabdulgani, on Thu 2 Oct 4:05PM

  19. I am a friend of Christiano's and I've been told he's staying at Manchester United for rest of his career.

    From oabdulgani,

    You need to go back to your GP or shrink mate and get them to change the tablets.

    The delusions are getting worse and worse.

    From MICHAEL M, on Thu 2 Oct 3:40PM

  20. IM A VILLA FAN SO NO BIAS ...I THINK MAN UTD WILL COPE IF RONALDO LEAVES NOT SURE IF HE WILL GO IN JANUARY OR AT THE END OF THE SEASON HE SHOULD STAY TILL THE END OF THE YEAR BESIDES M UTD COULD WIN THE EURO CUP AGAIN SOMETHING I CANT SAY ABOUT REAL WHO I ALSO SUPPORT COS I LIVE IN SPAIN !! M UTD HAVE ALWAYS GOT RID OF BIG PLAYERS I.E_ BECKHAM AND ALWAYS COPE. HOWEVER I DO THINK RONALDO SHOULD SEEK A NEW CHLLENGE BUT AT THE END OF THE YEAR IT SEEMS SO "TACKY" BEING BROUGHT IN THE JANUARY SALES LIKE A WINTER WARMER, PLEEEEEEEAAAASSSSEEE JUST PUT AN END TO THIS F@~KING MADNESS. P.S VILLA FOR THE LEAGUE

    From Lee T, on Thu 2 Oct 3:35PM
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