congratulations wayne rooney, from an arsenal fan. in­ australia

damn your boring get a life

CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR a short play by­ Stevie O Jay.
Subplot

( Thanks to mattneems­ )

Fernando Torres
Robbie Keane
Ryan Babel
Xabi­ Alonso­
Dirk Kuyt
Albert Riera
Andrea Dossena
Peter­ Crouch­
Lucas Leiva
Jermaine Pennant
Martin Skrtel­
Craig­ Bellamy
Luis Garcia
Jose Reina
Dan Agger­
Mohammed­ Sissoko
Fernando Morientes
Yossi Benayoun­
Diego­ Cavalieri
Alvaro Arbeloa
Sebastian Leto
Jose­ Miguel­ Gonzalez
Gabriel Paletta
Mark Gonzalez
David­ Ngog­
Scott Carson
Mikel San Jose
David Martin­
Antonio­ Barragan
Besian Idrizaj
Jack Hobbs
Alex­ Cooper­
Alexander Kacaniklic
Krisztian Nemeth
Andras­ Simon­
Victor Palsson
Gary Mackay Steven
Vitor­ Flora­
Andriy Voronin
Nikolay Mihaylov
Emmanuel­ Mendy­
Marvin Pourie
Dani Pacheco
Nikola Saric­
Lauri Dalla­ Valle
Gerardo Bruna
Hakan Duyan
Damien­ Plessis­
Peter Gulacsi
Charles Itandje
Philipp Degen­
Vincent­ Lucas
Ryan Crowther
Mihail Alexandrov­
Robbie Fowler­
Ryan Wilkie
Javier Mascherano
Miki­ Roque
Nabir El­ Zhar
Mark Smyth
Jay Smith
Stephen­ Darby
Craig­ Lindfield
Adam Hammill
Danny Guthrie­
Paul Anderson­
Lee Peltier
Fabio Aurelio
Jan­ Kromkamp
Boudewijn­ Zenden
Mauricio Pellegrino­
Godwin Antwi
Robbie­ Threlfall
Ryan Flynn
Calum­ Woods
Paul Willis
Danny­ O'Donnell
Ramon­ Calliste
Steve Irwin
Martin­ Kelly
Ronald Huth­
Jordy Brouwer
Francisco Manuel­ Duran
Emiliano Insua­
Ray Putterill
Martin Hansen­
Jay Spearing
Dave­ Roberts
David Mannix
Antonio­­ Nunez
????????????????????????

CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR

Stevie O Jay and­ Marlon King are settling into their new home. There’s a­ bit of friction.

Stevie O Jay : Pheuuuufff
Marlon King­ : Whaattt?
Stevie O Jay : Ah nothin’
Marlon King :­ What? You’re the one going Pheuuuufff.
Stevie O Jay :­ Your feet Marlon, your feet, your f*cking feet?
Marlon­ King : What’s wrong with my feet?
Stevie O Jay : Can’t­ you smell or something?
Marlon King : Huh?
Stevie O Jay­ : Ere lad, your feet stink the place out. Even the­ f*cking screws don’t come in here anymore. I don’t know­ how many times I’ve told you, wash your f*cking­ feet!!
Marlon King : Oh. Alright then.
Stevie O Jay :­ Huh, thanks a lot.

Marlon starts to sort through his­ washbag, gets his favourite soap out, his nice new­ facecloth and begins to give his feet a wipe.

Marlon­ King : Have you heard the news?
Stevie O Jay : What­ news?
Marlon King : About Benny?
Stevie O Jay : Benny?­ Benny who?
Marlon King : Benny The Ball Benitez.
Stevie­ O Jay : What about him?
Marlon King : They say he’s not­ a real manager.
Stevie O Jay : Not a real manager ..­ whatdya mean?
Marlon King : He’s not Benitez.
Stevie O­ Jay : ( Perplexed ) What!?
Marlon King : His real­ name’s Benitio. He’s mob.
Stevie O Jay : Eh?
Marlon­ King : He’s not Spanish .. he’s Italian.
Stevie O Jay :­ Whatdya mean he’s not Spanish?
Marlon King : He’s­ mafioso.

Marlon cleaning between his toes flicks a­ ball at Stevie.

Stevie O Jay : F*ck off.
Marlon King :­ ( He flicks another ball of cheese ) Something to do­ with Capello’s mob. Apparently the football club is a­ front for people trafficing.
Stevie O Jay : Eh?
Marlon­ King : Yes, you heard me right, I said people­ trafficing.
Stevie O Jay : ( Totally confused )­ What?
Marlon King : The Italian mob were trying to find­ a front for their operation. They tried Loserpool. Do­ you remember when you won the Champions League?
Stevie­ O Jay : Yeah, great night.
Marlon King : Well it was­ alright til half time.

Marlon King : Benitio couldn’t believe his luck when­ you won the Champions League, made him look like he was­ a football manager. It was all luck. He’s knows nothing­ about football. He’s been winging it since then.
Stevie­ O Jay : ( Taken aback. ) Knows nothing?
Marlon King :­ Nope. The Italians weren’t too happy though. You­ weren’t supposed to win. Benitio was supposed to throw­ the game.
Stevie O Jay : No-one told me.
Marlon King :­ Benitio was supposed to tell you.
Stevie O Jay : Well­ he didn’t. F*ck!!
Stevie O Jay : F*ck!!
Marlon King :­ The Italians weren’t happy bunnies. Anyway, Benitio was­ making so much money trafficing people in and out as­ football players, taking a cut of the fees that it­ saved his life. He paid back the mob and made Capello­ rich. Everybody was happy. But that’s when the American­ mobs wanted a piece of the action.
Stevie O Jay : How­ do you know all this?
Marlon King : Ah, ah …... Benitio­ thought he was doing a great job but he hadn’t a clue­ what was really going on. Do you know some people say­ that he thought he was a real football manager? Like­ Alex Ferguson or something?
Stevie O Jay : I thought­ he was a real manager.
Marlon King : So does Benitio,­ that’s why it was so sweet.
Stevie O Jay : So that’s­ why the Americans mob bought the club. It didn’t make­ sense. They didn’t seem to get on ….
Marlon King :­ ….let’s call it a family disagreement.
Stevie O Jay :­ They weren’t putting money in, … they were taking money­ out.
Marlon King : That’s it, who’s a clever boy? Well­ things have gone t*ts up and the Americans want to­ bring in their own man in and I’m afraid that it’s­ ‘Goodbye Mr Benitio’.
Stevie O Jay : And I thought it­ was the b*autiful game.
Marlon King : That’s right. (­ Marlon flicking another ball of toe cheese at Stevie ) ­ On yer head.
Stevie O Jay : Listen, do that one more­ time and I’ll set my ‘patsy ‘ mates on you.
Marlon King­ : Ha, ha, ha, ha, not in here you won’t. .. ha, ha, ha­ , ha.
Stevie O Jay : Ha, ha, ha,

congrats Rooney on your new baby boy, play 2morrow and­ score hatchets haha

congrats wazza! it'll give the young lads a chance­ to show there stuff i'd like to see more of obertan­ bad miss the weekend but this kid can be a star under­ SIR ALEX i can see good things from this kid if he­ takes to the united way.

No, damn!!!

Damn.