Eurosport - Wed, 03 Oct 22:02:00 2007
Eurosport.yahoo.com can exclusively reveal the mind-bending quantum equation that determines Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez's selection policy.
How can Fernando Torres be dropped for a Premier League game and then play in a virtually meaningless Carling Cup game?
When does John Arne Riise play in defence and when in midfield?
What is the point of Jermaine Pennant?
All is revealed in a secret equation discovered by Eurosport's inside hobo, who found a scrap of paper while rooting through the Anfield bins for cast-off Rolexes and Armani shirts.
The formula is based on the Schrodinger Equation in quantum physics - read on for an explanation of what it all means.
Si - (K+6) x Et(-G) = PiR˛/12.45 + (Vp-J) B/Ał
Si = Ability to speak Spanish
K = Kiss-and-tell expose in tabloids
6 = Player over six feet in height
E = Good engine
t = Solid performance in training
-G = Inverse of goals scored in last game
Pi = Carrying excess weight
R = Unprovoked rant at Premier League officials
12.45 = Saturday lunchtime kick-off
Vp = Confluence of Venus and Pluto in Capricorn
5I = Karaoke/Golf club incident
B = Goatee beard
A = Player is Alvaro Arbeloa
Follow whatever Liverpool side Benitez randomly happens upon in action against Marseille: LIVE from 7.45pm!
Alex Chick / Eurosport