Premier League - Revealed! Rafa's rotation policy

Eurosport - Wed, 03 Oct 22:02:00 2007

Eurosport.yahoo.com can exclusively reveal the mind-bending quantum equation that determines Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez's selection policy.

FOOTBALL 2007-2008 Premier League Liverpool Rafa Benitez - 0

How can Fernando Torres be dropped for a Premier League game and then play in a virtually meaningless Carling Cup game?

When does John Arne Riise play in defence and when in midfield?

What is the point of Jermaine Pennant?

All is revealed in a secret equation discovered by Eurosport's inside hobo, who found a scrap of paper while rooting through the Anfield bins for cast-off Rolexes and Armani shirts.

The formula is based on the Schrodinger Equation in quantum physics - read on for an explanation of what it all means.

Si - (K+6) x Et(-G) = PiR˛/12.45 + (Vp-J) B/Ał

Si = Ability to speak Spanish

K = Kiss-and-tell expose in tabloids

6 = Player over six feet in height

E = Good engine

t = Solid performance in training

-G = Inverse of goals scored in last game

Pi = Carrying excess weight

R = Unprovoked rant at Premier League officials

12.45 = Saturday lunchtime kick-off

Vp = Confluence of Venus and Pluto in Capricorn

5I = Karaoke/Golf club incident

B = Goatee beard

A = Player is Alvaro Arbeloa

Follow whatever Liverpool side Benitez randomly happens upon in action against Marseille: LIVE from 7.45pm!

Alex Chick / Eurosport