Brian Laws refused to blame Sheffield Wednesday's cruel stoppage-time defeat by West Brom on the controversial dismissal of Jermaine Johnson.
The Owls winger was shown a straight red card by referee Andy D'Urso in the 78th minute following a tussle with West Brom captain Jonathan Greening, who escaped with a booking.
Ten-man Wednesday looked to have held on for a deserved point in their battle for Championship survival, but veteran Baggies striker Kevin Phillips popped up to head the game's only goal from fellow substitute James Morrison's cross in the 94th minute to snatch three points for Tony Mowbray's promotion-chasers.
Laws said: "It was a turning point, because you're down to 10 men - and you've got to have 11 men to have any chance of getting a result against West Brom.
"But it upset quite a lot of people, particularly the supporters and the players and myself because I didn't think there was anything in it to justify a red card.
"But Mr D'Urso has already sent somebody off for Stoke City at the weekend and made a blatant mistake - let's hope he looks at this one and maybe says the same thing, I don't know."
Laws was determined not to let the incident deflect from his side's sloppy defending which led to Phillips' winner.
"It's so easy to use every excuse under the sun and have a right go at the referee, that's the easy option," he said.
"I'd rather not take the easy option. I'd rather say I still believe we should have done better - even in those last two minutes of the game when we had to run the clock down.
"We had to make the right decisions, but in those last few minutes we allowed them to get the cross in and ball-watched - and, of course, the one man you don't want to score the goal does.
"It's soul-destroying. But I said to the players if you want to we can sit here, put your head in your hands and sulk for days and use the referee as an excuse - or you can move on.
"We deserved more, no doubt about it. Nobody can question the desire, commitment and drive we had."
The irony of West Brom's late winner was not lost on Tony Mowbray, who was full of sympathy for his opposite number.
Mowbray, a former team-mate of Laws at Middlesbrough, said: "It was such a late winner - it's cruel for them.
"I feel for Brian really and the sending-off incident right in front of us when there was no obvious sending-off offence.
"We had a few opportunities to score, and their goalkeeper made a couple of good saves. But in the end 'Super Kev' has come off the bench and did what he does.
"It wasn't a night for pretty football. We had to use our brains, and I think Kevin did that."
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