Carlos Tevez tops our list of winners after his screamer against West Ham, but his mate Nani is not so lucky.

WINNERS

Carlos Tevez

Tevez has made himself basically undroppable as Manchester United's lone striker. Against Barcelona he did a superb Didier Drogba impression, minus the diving. On Saturday he reverted to the more familiar model, putting his former employer (or were they?) West Ham to the sword with a scorching 30-yarder. Not only are United not missing Wayne Rooney, you wonder if the England man even gets back in the team if he recovers in time for the Champions League final.

Stoke City

Congratulations to the Potters for ending a 23-year stint out of the top flight. Received wisdom says that Stoke will struggle while West Brom's flair players will thrive. But Tony Pulis has money to spend, and has every chance of building a squad along the lines of Wigan's - and most of the Baggies' fancy dans have already failed in the Premier League.

Gary Megson

For unequivocal proof that life is harder when you are ginger, look no further than Megson, who has had to endure a torrid time from Bolton fans. Having inherited a weak and demoralised squad from Sammy Lee and seen his only world-class player leave in January, Megson has plugged away and kept the Trotters afloat. His reward, no doubt, will be more abuse.

Jens Lehmann

Big man, big hair, big gob, big exit. After a season of angry tirades against Arsene Wenger, Manuel Almunia and the world, Lehmann said a fairly dignified goodbye to Arsenal with a brief appearance yesterday. For all the histrionics he will be remembered fondly for his place among the 'Invincibles' and for helping the Gunners to the Champions League final. He's right, you know - he is a better keeper than Almunia.

LOSERS

Nani

It is hard to know what was most preposterous about Nani's sending-off against West Ham. First we had the comically bad overhead kick that sparked the incident, then the attempt, while still on the ground, to nut Lucas Neill in the groin. Finally, after getting up and butting Neill properly (albeit very weakly), he collapsed to the turf clutching his own face. Embarrassing stuff.

Birmingham City

When he was manager of Rangers and Scotland, Alex McLeish's sides had a reputation for hard work and a never-say-die attitude. So how on earth to explain Birmingham's gutless surrender against Fulham? They weren't just bad - they gave up with barely a whimper and now need a miracle (Derby to avoid defeat against Reading) to stay up.

Ian Holloway

"Statistically, I'm the worst Leicester City manager in history," said Holloway before Sunday's game against Stoke. Now he is the first man to take the Foxes to the third tier of English football in their 124-year history. He is desperate for people to remember him for more than his hilarious quotes; this might help, but not in a good way.

Derby County

The agony is nearly over. They have secured their place as the worst Premier League team ever, and are odds-on to be the first team in over a century to win only one game. Still, Rams fans have turned their weekly beatings into joyous things, cheering and singing throughout. They have been rewarded in recent weeks with Derby turning into virtual goal machines - two against Arsenal and another at Blackburn, where they even held the lead for 25 minutes.

Alex Chick / Eurosport