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Not since The Beatles played Shea Stadium has an import from Britain caused such hysteria.

Cristiano Ronaldo comes from Madeira, of course, but during his six years in the UK we have adopted him as one of our own - obnoxious, rude and always complaining. In fairness, he was better at English than most of the population.

Instead of screaming teenage girls that were a staple of Beatlemania, Ronaldo was greeted by the even less edifying spectacle of screaming teenage boys. Loads of them.

Clearly, money talks to Real fans, who have had their share of wallet-busting signings over the years.

Fifty thousand fans flocked to the Bernabeu to greet £50 million signing Kaka, so it was perhaps logical that Ronaldo brought in 80,000.

Ronaldo took it all in his diamond-encrusted stride, aiming for modesty and missing by a mile.

"I never thought the stadium would be so full of people here just to see me," he said.

Ronaldo then came over all Princess Diana and was overcome by an urge to kiss a small boy - although the Queen of Hearts never treated any landmine victims to an exhibition of ball juggling. As far as ED is aware.

All that was missing was 'Heal The World' wafting over the tannoy system to complete the messianic feel.

You half expected Ronaldo to produce a bottle of mineral water and turn it into a spicy Rioja.

The whole event will have inflated his ego to the point where it now has its own gravitational pull. After all, he is a man who can fill the Bernabeu whether he is playing football or not.

He has transcended his sport and is now an A-list celebrity in shorts. You go to see him because he is famous, valuable, tanned and muscular, not because he is brilliant at kicking a ball.

Maybe there is nothing new about this. Real made no bones about the fact that Goldenballs was signed primarily for marketing reasons, but Ronaldo really ought to be different.

He is the current Ballon d'Or and World Player of the Year. Yet despite his obvious quality on the pitch, in popular culture terms he is just famous for being famous. And carrying a handbag.

Ronaldo is the epitome of modern celebrity. People are obsessed and infatuated by him, but nobody seems to like him very much.

Tabloid column inches are hogged by the likes of Jordan and Angelina Jolie. Fascinating, perhaps, but not exactly popular.

The whole event recalled a deluxe version of Michael Owen's arrival at Newcastle in 2005, only much more hysterical.

Newcastle have had a tough time in recent years, so could perhaps have been forgiven their exuberance when Owen pitched up at St James's - although the 20,000 people in the crowd may now wish they had done something else with their Tuesday afternoon.

Real's reaction to Ronaldo's arrival just seemed a little bit desperate. Their public image projects them as the biggest, richest and most arrogant club in the world, with fans to match.

But last night's shenanigans spoke of a fanbase (or at least part of one), crying out for a saviour, and clawing hysterically at their new hero, who they were ecstatic to have lured to the club.

Ronaldo now faces a huge challenge overcoming the weight of his own celebrity and justifying the crazed hype that accompanied his arrival in La Liga.

Real fans may soon discover he is not the messiah - he is a very irritating boy.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I think that John Terry is a symbol of this club but I don't know if he will be the captain next season." Carlo Ancelotti's brilliant opening gambit as Chelsea manager. Then, just as the earth's rotation about its axis ground to a halt, he added: "Naturally, I joke. I like to joke in the press conference."

FOREIGN VIEW: You know when an absolutely huge news event happens, and newspapers 'double up' to use both the front and back pages for their lead headline? AS do just that for the arrival of Ronaldo, splashing "El Mas Galactico" in 250-point font.

COMING UP: There's a Team Time Trial in the Tour de France. It sounds like a Tony Robinson-orchestrated archeological dig, but apparently it's terribly important and it could put Lance Armstrong back in a yellow jersey.

And we have live tennis scores from the chucklesome WTA Bastad event.

Eurosport