Meet the 12th best defender who has ever stepped foot on this planet?

YES IT'S GARY NEVILLE!

If you find the new book by the Association of Football Statisticians - "Greatest Ever Footballers" in your Christmas stocking at least you'll have something to get the fire going before Granny sleeps in front of the Only Fools and Horses repeat.

They have analysed every football fact and figure over 100 years - except seemingly actually watching a game - and managed to come up with this gem.

Early Doors prides itself on slamming the wasps from the pure apple of truth and we would suggest that Gary Neville is not even the most talented Neville in his family (don't forget sister Tracey, England netball heroine).

If points were awarded for a dodgy tache, his position ahead of such players as Bobby Moore, Carlos Alberto, Claudio Gentile etc etc, could be justified (although surely then Phil Parkes would have leaped ahead of Dino Zoff).

So the 86th best player ever to have lived is Fergie's chief rabble rouser, a solid organiser who occasionally puts a good cross in, is decent on the cover and is better than Lee Dixon and Gary Stevens were (barely a compliment).

The 86th best player ever to have lived is not that quick, not that skilful and probably not even Steve McClaren's first choice right back anymore.

There are a few more gems in the list, headed as you would expect by Pele who always rises to the occasion.

Luis Figo (fourth) better than Diego Maradona (sixth), Sylvain Wiltord and Jon Dahl Tomasson apparently two of the best 82 players in the history of the game and Iranian hitman Ali Daei is 26th for scoring goals against the might of Asian football.

Archie Thompson's legal team are already investigating why he is not in the top 30 after his 13 goals against a crack American Samoa outfit in a qualifier for the 2002 World Cup.

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First rule of Champions League betting - always back against the Greeks and Turks away from home and they are normally pretty good on the Asian Handicap on home soil.

That mantra evident once again last night as Liverpool sweep aside Besiktas by a record 8-0 scoreline at Anfield whilst Olympiakos hold Real Madrid in Athens.

Good news all around for Scousers who have been given the go-ahead to build their redesigned £400million stadium in Stanley Park.

And Four Four Two magazine's rich list suggests there might be more in the coffers for players with Tom Hicks worth £50 million, putting him 21st on the list behind Roman "which Oceangoing Vessel shall I buy today" Abramovich.

Interestingly in 13th place is Cheltenham director Simon Keswick, he has £760 million in the bank and your team are bottom of League One. Go figure as Mr Hicks might say!

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FOREIGN VIEW: How bad are Euro 2008 co-hosts Austria? Coach Josef Hickersberger's 23-man squad to face England next week includes three former Premier League stars - ex-Sunderland and Chelsea reserve keeper Juergen Macho, former Arsenal custodian Alex Manninger and one-time Leeds stopper Martin Hiden. Another Mickey Mouse affair for Steve McClaren?

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MUST FOLLOW: Eight Champions League games tonight including Manchester United minus "star player" Neville. You can follow LIVE commentary on all the matches from 19:45 GMT - yes all of them.

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MUST READ: Click on the link below the photo to check out all tonight's key stats on the Champions League (Fenerbahce have not lost any of their last eight home games in European competition - don't say you weren't warned).

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Lee Walker / Eurosport