Tour de France - Blazin' Saddles: Stiller Thriller

Eurosport - Wed, 08 Jul 19:19:00 2009

Trust the cast of the Tour de France to put on a display of comedic buffoonery and coltish intensity on the second day actor Ben Stiller rolled into town.

CYCLING 2009 - Team Saxo Bank rider Fabian Cancellara of Switzerland wearing the leader's yellow jersey is congratulated by US actor Ben Stiller on the podium for the fourth stage of the 96th Tour de France - 0

Twenty-four hours after the star of Zoolander was responsible for making Astana check in late at the start of stage four, Stiller was back again with his new best friend Lance Armstrong, warming up on his rollers and reprising his role as Team Lance-Stana mascot.

On the roads, the riders looked as if they were auditioning for a part in one of Stiller's trademark slapstick capers.

Denis Menchov reminded the world of his reliability by surprising no one with a frantic tumble into the barriers. World champion Alessandro Ballan then proved he could stand in as the Russian's double by repeating his exact fall.

Four of the Bbox Bougyues squad showcased the true genius of French humour by falling into the same ditch on the same bend - but in entirely separate incidents.

Milram pair Peter Wrolich and Niki Terpstra got in on the act too before Silence-Lotto's Jurgen Ven den Broeck showed off his stuntman abilities by getting up after a painful high-speed road-rash crash.

To be fair to the riders, the route was pretty ropey. If Stiller was hoping for some Hollywood Blockbuster-style motorways he was to be disappointed. Instead we got tracks equivalent to art house Eastern European cinema, with winding plots full of holes.

But Stiller only had eyes for his new best friend Armstrong as he continued his bid to get the Texan onboard for a proposed sequel to Dodgeball.

Ignoring the cynics who claim There's Something About Lance, Stiller is pushing the seven-times Tour champ to come out of movie retirement after four years on the sidelines.

With Dodgeball II now tipped to be infused with cycling influences, George Hincapie is touted to take on Vince Vaughn's role as the good guy, while Chuck Norris, who played himself in the original, is set to be snubbed for a man much harder, Armstrong's friend Jens Voigt.

(Incidentally, fresh evidence came to light on Tuesday that those nasty crosswinds on Monday were in fact caused when Voigt farted. He's that tough.)

Back to the racing, where Astana tore the field to shreds much like the film Dodgeball (except the fact that the only Underdog amongst the Kazakh-funded team is the sole Kazakh representative, Dmitriy Muravyev, who must feel a bit of twerp lying in second-last position in the GC while his other team-mates razz it up in the top 10).

Unlike a feel-good Stiller movie, however, there was to be no happy ending for Team Lance-Stana after pantomime villain Fabian Cancelthefun rather parsimoniously clung on to the yellow jersey by a fraction of a second thought to be equal to a prodigious chin's worth of time.

Talk about messing up the script. Stiller looked as if he had just been told that the Night at the Museum franchise was to become a trilogy as he climbed the podium and huffily handed over the maillot jaune to some Swiss guy who wasn't Roger Federer.

Quite what he was doing there in the first place is anyone's guess, but one thing's for certain: there was no Blue Steel from Stiller, just a sense of Yellow Stolen.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Swiss timing. Precision timing. I defended the yellow jersey like a lion." Spartacus may live to fight another day, but BS is keen to know where these Swiss zoos are where lions scrap over yellow jerseys.

PLAT DU JOUR: Due to Perpignan's proximity to the Spanish border much of the food has a Catalan influence. Try meat balls in a sauce made with local tomatoes and olives. Fougasse aux gratons (a Catalan brioche with pork) goes down when accompanied by another regional speciality - a glass of vin doux (sweet wine).

STAGE 5 PREDICTION: Much of the 197km route hugs the coastline so there will be more of those difficult winds which could favour a breakaway. But here's hoping we finally have a bunch sprint between all the fast men. Haussler or Hushovd to win.

Don't forget to follow Blazin' Saddles throughout the day on www.twitter.com/saddleblaze

STAGE FIVE LIVE on Wednesday 8th July at 1pm on British Eurosport (Sky 410 / Virgin Media 521); Also available on your PC via the Eurosport Player - click on the link under the picture to subscribe

Felix Lowe / Eurosport

Comment 1 - 12 of 12

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  1. I prefer Stiller to Gregoire singing on France 2 to­ kick off the stage!

    From Scott, on Wed 8 Jul 9:54PM
  2. Well we all know Lance is a good old honest lad... and­ his comments about last years tour some up his class...­ a joke tour, sastre, et al.... well to be fair take out­ every top ten rider that got caught in his honest days­ and i reckon you might have had the lantern rouge up­ there.... laughable!

    ill give hime credit, he does­ 'prepare' well....

    From runeii1971, on Wed 8 Jul 2:37PM
  3. We did not see it but Skill crashet with 5 riders at­ owns. Was also the reason that they ended at last­ place. Beside that, Cavendish will be happy that­ Rooijakkers is out because of this crash. He has a­ complicated braek in his arm and had surgery for 7 ours­ on this. Also Posthuma was interviewed yesterday about­ the Wenenstory. He told that they had to give a­ statement and now the Astria authorities declared them­ innocent and we can let this go.

    From stam.hans, on Wed 8 Jul 1:35PM
  4. Lori - why did Evans cry? did someone step on his­ pooch's paws?

    From Azriel, on Wed 8 Jul 1:31PM
  5. Nice of him not to mention Evans crying on TV behind­ his sunglasses.

    From loriblack18, on Wed 8 Jul 11:00AM
  6. P; well that explains it. Won't have much comfort­ for Peit who broke his arm and is now out of the race!

    From Liz S, on Wed 8 Jul 10:18AM
  7. How do 4 Bbox Bougyue cyclists crash in the same spot­ independently??
    Psychological "social proof"­ likely had a part to play. Social proof is simply­ that we tend to copy others during times of­ uncertainty, rightly or wrongly.
    '
    And there's­ the old mountain bike adage that where you look is­ where you'll steer to hit (so don't look at the­ obstacle, look at the safe route).
    '
    So each guy­ looked and hence steered in the direction of a crash­ ahead AND social proof kicked in- they were uncertain­ of the bend and so copied the guy in front, to have a­ 'safe' crash in a field. Watch the last two­ crashing and you'll see they didn't even bother­ to steer, they just unclipped a leg and rode into the­ field- social proof at play.

    From p, on Wed 8 Jul 9:53AM
  8. The French will do anythingto get any little bit of­ attention they can. Throw Stiller on the podium­ stage?....Definately!!!!
    Just don't rely on them to­ fight anybody..... Go Lance!!!!!

    From SHARKKY, on Wed 8 Jul 9:28AM
  9. Are we not supposed to comment on the story above. Ben­ stiller did look like he was forced into doing his­ podium bit. Personally I would have rather seen another­ tour Bunny stood where he was.

    From Wayne B, on Wed 8 Jul 9:15AM
  10. Comment hidden due to its low rating. Show

    secretgirl20092009 the first thing you need to do is­ get and practice getting your leg over.

    From keir_williams, on Wed 8 Jul 9:06AM
  11. Comment hidden due to its low rating. Show

    i want to be cycler!!can you help me?{i am a hungarian­ girl}please write to me!!

    From secretgirl20092009, on Wed 8 Jul 8:55AM
  12. WTF with Menchov, he needs to stop sucking down all­ that Vodka so he can see straight. Him crashing is so­ old hat.

    From Worldwide, on Wed 8 Jul 12:28AM
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