Did anyone actually think Henk ten Cate's arrival was going to bring stability to Chelsea?

There's more chance of seeing supermodel Naomi Campbell, 'It' girl Tamara Beckwith and F1 boss Flavio Briatore at a QPR game. Oh.

Well, the rumour mill already has its blades rotating furiously over the meaning of the enigmatic Dutchman's appointment.

Today's Daily Mail claims the Ajax boss will bring with him highly-rated striker Klaas-Jan Huntelaar (pictured), followed by Barcelona coach Frank Rijkaard at the end of the season.

Early Doors doesn't see what all the fuss is about. A trained chimp in a fez could do a decent job with a side containing Ronaldinho, Leo Messi, Thierry Henry and Samuel Eto'o, while Huntelaar has all the makings of the new Mateja Kezman.

Kezman, you may remember, came to Stamford Bridge to a great fanfare in 2004 after scoring 126 goals in four seasons for PSV Eindhoven, before netting all of five times in 37 appearances for the Blues.

Huntelaar's record for Ajax is, obviously, phenomenal. The 24-year-old scored 20-plus goals last season and has nine in seven this term.

But come on. This is the league in which Heerenveen striker Afonso Alves scored seven times at the weekend in a 9-0 win against De Graafschap, and it wasn't even a Dutch top flight record.

This from a player who was reportedly rejected by Middlesbrough during the summer, the Brazilian losing out to six-goals-a-season Mido of all people.

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The confetti is still being cleared from the pitch after the Women's World Cup final, there are female match officials, female club directors and female fans.

It seems women's status in football has never been higher. Unless you listen to Dynamo Kiev coach Josef Sabo.

This gem of a quote appeared on the club's official website - an area normally reserved for sanitised guff like 'Senderos: We want to beat Bolton' - when Sabo was asked about Dynamo's slow start to the season.

"Personally, I'm not ashamed because I see how in a short time they have made very good progress, because I have taken them away from their women, from their wives," Sabo said.

"We went to the [training] base, because women in football are a scourge. They do not understand that men need to work, that they have a hard job to do."

Of course, you don't have to be Ukrainian to hate WAGs. This summer Roy Keane took a spectacular swipe at Victoria Beckham, the orange one out of Girls Aloud and some bird off Celebrity Love Island.

"If a player doesn't want to come to Sunderland then all well and good. But if he decides he doesn't want to come because his wife wants to go shopping in London, then it's a sad state of affairs. It's not a football move, it's a lifestyle move. It tells me the player is weak and his wife runs his life.

"The idea of women running the show concerns me and worries me, but the players we're talking about are soft. Priorities have changed in footballers and they are being dictated to by their wives."

There's more.

"It's different with Chelsea, Arsenal or maybe Tottenham but if players are starting to go to clubs just because they're in London and they're not even that big a club, it's clearly down to the shops.

"We had a player who didn't even ring us back this summer because his wife wanted to move to London - and, yes, shopping was mentioned. To me it's wrong to sign for a club with half the crowds and less attention."

Stop it, we get the picture Keano.

"I could name three or four big players now, and clearly their wives are running their lives. They've started doing photoshoots - and they're getting dragged in by their partners."

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The DVLA are to auction off a job lot of personalised number plates - the perfect gift for the man with 80 grand a week in his pocket and a garage full of Baby Bentleys.

Top billing goes to 'WE57 HAM', which is expected to fetch around £50,000, breaking the record for a football number plate currently held by 'AR53 NAL' at £36,000.

Given he spent £6m on Kieron Dyer and only slightly less for Freddie Ljungberg, surely Eggert Magnusson can stump up a few more millions for the perfect chav accessory.

Early Doors, meanwhile, would be more interested in snapping up 'LOS 3R' but, as the number plate suggests, doesn't have sufficient funds to meet the £900 reserve price.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I will admit that I left 10 minutes from the end feeling physically sick and I felt sorry for the supporters who travelled with us; they did not deserve to watch that." More official website honesty. Gillingham chairman Paul Scally apologises for the 5-0 thumping at the hands of Swindon.

FOREIGN VIEW: How about an unsubstantiated transfer rumour for a quiet Tuesday? Italy's Corriere dello Sport says Patrick Vieira is off to Manchester City, with Inter preparing to replace him with Frank Lampard.

COMING UP: Live coverage of the UEFA Cup group stage draw from 11am. OK, it's only the UEFA Cup but everyone loves a draw. Join us!

Alex Chick / Eurosport