Transfers - Gossip Shop: Fat chance

Eurosport - Thu, 09 Oct 16:10:00 2008

Step right up Antonio Cassano you are a winner! Yes, cue lots of loud noises and flashing lights, because the Sampdoria striker has become the one millionth customer to enter into the Gossip Shop who has been linked with Manchester City.

FOOTBALL 2008 Euro 2008 Italy Cassano - 0

Not content with being linked with Ronaldo for a number weeks, City's chubby chasing antics have moved to Genoa where another famous fatty lies in waiting.

Cassano is an undoubted talent, but has always struggled with his weight, with Real Madrid resorting to fining him on a gram-by-gram basis when he was at the club; while those witty fans at the Bernabeu also gave him the rather enduring nickname of "Fatty."

However, credit where credit is due, Cassano has been exceptional since returning to Italy, and says that he put his wild ways behind him when he met his current girlfriend - water polo player Carolina Marcialis.

So it seems that all Cassano needed was a nice, mature, homely woman to add discipline and balance to his life. Oh and did I also mention that Marcialis is only 17?

A GS cheque book and pen wings its way to Mr. Cassano for being the millionth man to visit our Manchester City aisle, with Rennes striker Stephane Mbia coming in just behind.

He has been linked with a £9.6 million move to Eastlands, while City are also still "tracking" (whatever that means) long rumoured targets Thierry Henry and Roque Santa Cruz.

If even a small percentage of these rumours come true then Mark Hughes will officially have the biggest army of strikers under his command since Arthur Scargill.

Elsewhere, Chelsea chairman Bruce Buck (who is American) has said: "one of our priorities is finding English players, they settle quickly and understand the English game."

Oh that's good to hear, so I guess it is no surprise that the latest player that Chelsea have been linked with is a 14-year-old who plays for Barcelona. Gerard Deulofeu is the kid's name and apparently he is the "new Ronaldinho" - better see a dentist then.

GS feels it is harsh to make such comparisons so early in a player's career, but better to be called the "new Ronaldinho" than the "new Steve Sidwell." Although at least Sidwell "settled quickly," on the Chelsea's bench that is. Very good posture that boy.

Meanwhile, Ruud van Nistelrooy has reminded us all that "one day, yes, (Cristiano) Ronaldo will come to Real Madrid." And how we pray it comes soon so we don't have to mention this rumour ever, EVER again.

Calm down Manchester United fans though, as you can replenish your side by paying £18 million for Wigan's Wilson Palacios , who has forged a successful career as a midfielder after playing a starring supporting role as the volleyball in Tom Hanks's 2000 snooze-fest "Cast Away".

GS feels Wilson was robbed of an Academy Award for that role, but West Brom are hoping to get their hands on an Oscar - Mallorca striker Oscar Trejo - who they will bid £5 million for in January.

Tottenham's Kevin Prince Boateng is nicknamed the "Ghetto Superstar," but even he doesn't fancy a loan spell in Birmingham, he will move back to Germany instead.

While across North London, Arsenal's inability to get things done in the transfer market has reached a new low, with a failed bid for Millwall's deputy executive chairman Heather Rabbatts being their latest set-back.

It is being wildly reported that QPR want to see Leroy Lita and his crazy celebrations down at Loftus Road, while Ghanaian 'whizzkid' (what does that mean - he is good at computer games?) Tawrick Jibril could be off to Portsmouth.

Finally, the Daily Star has been speculating as to how much debt each Premier League club is in and rejoice Tottenham fans! Here is one table you're not bottom off.

The Top Five

Manchester United (£764 million)

Chelsea (£736 million)

Liverpool (£350 million)

Arsenal (£318 million)

Fulham (£182 million)

The Bottom Five

Hull (£200,000)

West Brom (£2.6 million)

Stoke (£7 million)

Tottenham (£17 million)

Blackburn (£20 million)

Seán Fay / Eurosport

Comment 2 - 21 of 21

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  1. BRAVO nevezen!!

    From furdiciaf, on Fri 10 Oct 7:54AM

  2. Americans and Australians are fatter than Cassano and Ronaldo lol.... but sheesh 17yr old!

    From ioaus08, on Fri 10 Oct 1:41AM

  3. Well written. Don't know if this is the same writer from previous GS's or if he/she's now maturing like Theo Walcott. But nevertheless, well done...

    From Kareem G, on Fri 10 Oct 1:35AM

  4. You can prove anything with statistics if nothing to compare with.

    Might be far better to see the clubs mentioned above with the figures for at least the last 5 years - then you would see a better picture.

    From timity, on Thu 9 Oct 4:24PM

  5. 200k! up the tigers!

    From Jon, on Thu 9 Oct 3:59PM

  6. wtf is fulham doing up there?

    From aleksicn93, on Thu 9 Oct 3:45PM

  7. Wilson Palacios, "a starring supporting role", is this a contradiction in terms or just intentional? An oxymoron maybe, from the Greek oxy "sharp" and moros "dull". So Wilson Palacios is on the one foot sharp and on the other dull. He'll do fine at Man U with a snazzy suit amongst all the other dullards then?

    From tuftytone, on Thu 9 Oct 3:31PM

  8. This shows how rubbish some newspapers are. Speculating on teams finances when most release their financial statements. Arsenal's debt is nearer £415m but they have £93m in cash reserves. £250m of that will be paid off over 21-23 years like a mortgage on the stadium. £139m of that is to do with the property development of Highbury and the areas surrounding the emerates stadium, which will be paid off once they are sold. So it's not operating debt. If you work out £250m over the 23 years is around £11m (£20m with interest) a year not a big cost for a team with over £200m turnover and nearly £60m pre tax profit, and that is at a set interest rate for the period.

    From Darren, on Thu 9 Oct 3:24PM

  9. ri ...

    From leialun02, on Thu 9 Oct 3:04PM

  10. Genegenie as a Boro fan I'm very offended by your comment.

    From Mr, on Thu 9 Oct 2:51PM

  11. A mega rich owner will buy United in the near future. Dont worry United fans.

    From Jamie, on Thu 9 Oct 2:49PM

  12. Debt...whats that? Robinho was a "gift" with no debt attached...or so i heard.

    From Andy, on Thu 9 Oct 2:46PM

  13. A return to form for GS in my opinion, great article!

    From Creaven91, on Thu 9 Oct 2:42PM

  14. No doubt Nevezen supports someone like Boro (no offence to the many decent Boro fans, who I've had a good banter with on the way into Old Trafford)

    From genesgenie, on Thu 9 Oct 2:34PM

  15. + a couple of funny lines

    From Segun, on Thu 9 Oct 2:15PM

  16. Nevezen Man U and Chelsea won't go into adim like my beloved Leeds because they are HUGH brands across the entire world. Their annual turnover makes Leeds look like a convergence team so they can easily afford the repayments. I would say their interest cover ratios are at least 5 which is extremely healthy in financial terms and nothing to worry about. Leeds had a ratio of 1.2 at the best so there really is no comparison you dumb f uck Their debt figures are misleading too especially Chelsea because they owe the money to Roman.

    From DavidR, on Thu 9 Oct 1:52PM

  17. nevesen you're being an idiot

    From v_sterel, on Thu 9 Oct 1:34PM

  18. it should be pointed out at this stage that Chelsea's debt is not owed externally....we only owe money to our owner...and its interest free as well!!!!

    From JJ, on Thu 9 Oct 1:10PM

  19. get a life nevezen you nerd, clubs like man u and chelsea are built on foundations of success and to keep that success they need to spend money to keep up. the fact of the matter is their assets are worth alot more than than their dept.

    From flinto, on Thu 9 Oct 12:59PM

  20. Where's my joke GS!?

    From rookbodini, on Thu 9 Oct 12:51PM
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