Transfers - Gossip Shop: Gerrard is risen

Eurosport - Wed, 10 Sep 18:15:00 2008

People thought the Gossip Shop would struggle to maintain its level of interest outside the transfer window.

2008-2009 Liverpool Steven Gerrard - 0

With nothing but the odd loan or free transfer to go on, how could it maintain its terrifyingly high standards?

By spending less time talking about transfers and more time looking at Victoria Beckham's curiously boyish new barnet and wondering whether she looks more like Audrey Hepburn or a darker-haired Andrei Arshavin.

Look for early September in the diary of any top Premier League manager and, where you might expect to find the words 'international break', you will instead see, in big red writing: "SEND BEST PLAYER FOR SURGERY".

That's what Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez did, booking in Steven Gerrard for a groin op at the beginning of last week, thereby ruling him out of both England qualifiers.

But blow the Gossip Shop down if Stevie G isn't set to make a remarkable recovery in time to play Manchester United on Saturday. Well, that's what The Sun says, anyway.

Don't be surprised if Owen Hargreaves and his dodgy knees - also pulled out of England duty - also make an appearance at Anfield.

Want to know who is responsible for Dimitar Berbatov's sullen attitude? As always, blame the parents.

"I've done many stupid things because of my stubbornness, only because I didn't want to listen to my parents' advice. And then it always turned out that they were right," said Berbs.

"My father always told me not to be swell-headed. He repeated it so often that it still helps me."

He added: "I am religious and I take the Bible everywhere with me."

Having made the step up from Spurs to United, Berbatov may not have to bother in future.

The Gossip Shop has no doubt the hotels United stay at are of a sufficient standard to have a Gideon's in the bedside draw.

You may remember Alex Ferguson describing Robbie Keane's £20m move to Liverpool as one of the biggest surprises of the summer.

Well, Keane has finally thought of a riposte, and here it is: "I'm very surprised John O'Shea doesn't play for United every week."

A glittering future in management doesn't await.

Michael Essien's serious knee injury has left him with several lonely months of rehab (a Chelsea spokesperson promised the ominous-sounding 'aquatherapy') ahead of him before he makes his return in the New Year.

Worse still, Essien has lost his reputation as a Premier League hard man thanks to some indiscreet remarks by Ghana team-mate Stephen Appiah.

"He cried like a child," said Appiah. Is there anyone left in the Chelsea squad who hasn't?

As befits a man with a vast property empire, Robbie Fowler is a master when it comes to overvaluations.

The item Fowler currently wants to flog is not a six-bedroom pile in Cheshire that has shed £1m in value, nor a riverside penthouse with splendid views of the local junkies sharing needles.

No, it is Fowler's own football skills that are up for grabs. But the one-time goalgetter has been stymied by his massively inflated opinion of his own worth.

Having turned down a six-month deal from Blackburn, he has scared off Norwegian side Brann Bergen by demanding £250,000 for a three-month contract.

Shay Given is so desperate to get a move away from Newcastle, he has got Ireland manager Giovanni Trapattoni touting his services to anyone in Italy who will listen.

Fresh from falling off his chair, Trap continued a comedic press conference by saying: "Shay's a born keeper. I'd recommend clubs buy him and there's vacancies for players like him in Serie A."

Alex Chick / Eurosport

Comment 17 - 36 of 36

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  1. I wish he does not play let Dimitar Berbatov have a­ good debut

    From andy tan, on Thu 11 Sep 2:29PM

  2. gerrard wont face Man U. so cut the sensationalist­ @#$%..!

    From , on Thu 11 Sep 12:01PM

  3. alan.darlow, don't said that Fergie always pulls­ his players out of England games becouse 3 of MU­ player's are first eleven in england squad. is it­ rooney, wes brown and ferdinand not important to man­ utd? think again.. viva fergie.. MU forever..

    From gg, on Thu 11 Sep 1:33AM

  4. Well see if Keane is worth £20 Million when he­ outscores Berbatov this season £30.75 Million for a cry­ baby ? and anyway Fergie always pulls his players out­ of England games and then they just so happen to be­ ready for Man Utd's league game 3 days later so­ well done to Rafa

    From alan.darlow, on Wed 10 Sep 6:40PM

  5. slosstastic slosstastic slosstastic
    I'm sure he­ doesn't, and actually, I wasn't thinking of­ Rooney anyway...and as far as being the second best­ coach, I'll live with your opinion as ManU continue­ to win titles and your favourite coach continues to do­ what ever it is he does.

    From buda, on Wed 10 Sep 6:22PM

  6. Essien is a hard man ? LMAO

    Compare him to real hard­ men who played the game like Psycho Pearce, Chopper­ Harris, Tommy Smith & Norman Hunter, and you'll­ see he is a pansy.

    From doc_scrumpy, on Wed 10 Sep 6:22PM

  7. And to everyone who's complaining about this­ article: if you hate transfer-gossip shop then why are­ you taking the time to read it. You guys obviously were­ the same people complaining about the last articule, so­ do you get off on writing these negative things,­ it's not like the article was hidden under a­ different name and tricked you into reading it so that­ you could let out some of that stress caused from only­ having your palm as a date tonight. Got anything mean­ to say now, bring it on please because there's­ nothing on t.v. tonight and I could do with a laugh.

    From buda, on Wed 10 Sep 6:04PM

  8. essien is a hardman...appiah u chicken.essien the best­ aftican player for 2008.....by far..and one of the­ world's top player in midfield

    From Topouzas, on Wed 10 Sep 6:03PM

  9. buda buda buda,
    ferguson doesnt give a monkeys about­ you either im afraid son. I hate to say it but the­ player trained by ferguson, rooney-im not denying hes a­ great player for manu, has never done jack S*** for­ england anyway and wont win us the game.
    ferguson is­ the 2nd best manager in the prem so dont stick up for­ him, stick up for MON

    From slosstastic, on Wed 10 Sep 6:01PM

  10. Dear jack.faulkner: I'm sure he doesn't give a­ rats @#$% about you either. And good luck, hope your­ English National Team with their foreign coach win,­ possibly due to a ManU player trained by Sir Alex, so­ you can celebrate then go back to complaining abpu to­ much foreigners and foreign influence in the EPL unless­ of course they're on your team winning games for­ you.

    From buda, on Wed 10 Sep 5:49PM

  11. i hate ferguson

    From jack.faulkner, on Wed 10 Sep 5:27PM

  12. funny article, much more entertaining than regular­ posts, keep up the good work!

    From fred_pon, on Wed 10 Sep 5:17PM

  13. Cool guy, does he still hook up with those hot ­ beauties @ TaLL MingLe Com ???The last time I saw his­ profile is last monday, hope he does not leave.

    From talllove7, on Wed 10 Sep 5:08PM

  14. when you look at the contribution torres makes &­ then compare it with what keane can do, you have to­ think that fergie may be right to intimate that £20m is­ perhaps a little over-priced.

    From c.zdave, on Wed 10 Sep 5:07PM

  15. Gossip Shop has struggled to maintain its level of­ interest outside the transfer window.

    From talllove7, on Wed 10 Sep 5:05PM

  16. i quite sure bez out of the happy mondays is the­ journalist for gossip shop as he obviously has about­ the same capabilities, can't believe yahoo even­ posts this S.H.I.T.E

    From nip_pex, on Wed 10 Sep 5:05PM

  17. time waster..

    From nip_pex, on Wed 10 Sep 4:57PM

  18. Yes,what is the point of this article? although i do­ commend your recycling ethos.

    From talllove7, on Wed 10 Sep 4:57PM

  19. Theres Sod all wrong with this article. I would rather­ have a story like this that pokes fun at people i.e.­ Robbie Keane's amazingly thought out response to­ SAF, than the usual tabloid approach of making things­ up when theres no news

    From Gary, on Wed 10 Sep 4:55PM

  20. really? Hard to believe...

    From talllove7, on Wed 10 Sep 4:45PM
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