World Cup qual. - England's home discomfort

Eurosport - Fri, 10 Oct 09:17:00 2008

Kazakhstan are ranked 131 in the world and have nobody you've ever heard of. Surely England can't slip up at Wembley on Saturday. Can they?

2007 England Steve McClaren wally with the brolly - 0

Eurosport-Yahoo! attempts to ward off complacency by plumbing the depths of England's murky past to find the worst home performances of all-time.

The conclusion? No matter how mediocre the opposition, England can cock it up big time. Fabio Capello beware.

England's roll of shame

England 0-2 Ireland - Goodison Park, 1949

This was England's first home defeat to anyone outside the UK and set the trend for decades of failure to follow. Walter Winterbottom's men made a dominant start but failed to score, then sat back and got walloped. Con Martin scored the opener, Peter Farrell finished the job five minutes from time.

England 3-6 Hungary - Wembley, 1953

"Look at that little fat chap," said one England player as they lined up for the anthems against the Magyars. "We'll murder this lot." The little fat chap was Ferenc Puskas, and it was he that did the murdering. Puskas scored twice, Nandor Hidegkuti grabbed a hat-trick and England were humbled. Hungary, it turns out, were good.

England 1-1 Poland - Wembley, 1973

Brian Clough never got the England job, but got some revenge when he infamously called Polish keeper Jan Tomaszewski "a clown" before this must-win 1974 World Cup qualifier. The thing about clowns is they have big hands, and Tomaszewski used them to great effect, ensuring England did not qualify.

England 1-2 Scotland - Wembley, 1977

Of all England's home defeats at the Tartan Army (and there have been 18), this is probably the most humiliating. Goals from Gordon McQueen and Kenny Dalglish secured the Home Championship and the visiting fans celebrated by ripping up the pitch and breaking a crossbar - which now resides in Rod Stewart's garden.

England 1-2 Uruguay - Wembley, 1990

Given how Italia '90 went, it is hard to recall the sense of depression that hung over England going into the World Cup. England produced a god-awful performance in their final home pre-tournament friendly against Uruguay. It was so bad it might have caused a riot had Wembley not been less than half full.

England 0-1 Germany - Wembley, 2000

Germany's visit presented England with the perfect chance to give the original Wembley Stadium a rousing send-off, but instead it descended into a soggy farce. Amid torrential rain, Didi Hamann beat David Seaman with a long-range free-kick and Kevin Keegan resigned during his post-match interview. Shambolic.

England 2-2 Macedonia - St Mary's, 2002

If there really are 'no easy games' left in international football, it's only because of the major countries' rank incompetence. David Seaman had a nightmare, England trailed twice and then, having drawn level, spent a futile hour trying and failing to break through a paper-thin Macedonian back line.

England 1-3 Australia - Upton Park, 2003

Nothing hurts like a sporting defeat to the Aussies, particularly when it is a sport at which they are meant to be rubbish. England's capitulation came in humiliating fashion and featured 11 substitutions at half-time when trailing 2-0. Still at least Francis Jeffers got his international career off to a great start with a goal.

England 0-0 Macedonia - Old Trafford, 2006

Ah, this lot again. This was the moment when the nation realised Steve McClaren's appointment might not have been the masterstroke it appeared when England thrashed Greece 4-0 in a meaningless friendly. Even worse than the first Macedonia draw - England never even looked like scoring.

England 2-3 Croatia - Wembley, 2007

So awful for so many reasons. England should have been out already but Russia lost to Israel and gave them a lifeline. Scott Carson replaced David James in an all-too-literal sense as England fell 2-0 behind early on. Having pulled level, McClaren's men drew on fresh reserves of incompetence and lost the game all over again.

Follow live minute-by-minute coverage of England v Kazakhstan and all matches featuring Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and Republic of Ireland on eurosport.yahoo.co.uk!

Alex Chick / Eurosport

Comment 61 - 80 of 100

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  1. Lets be honest if you think media has something to do­ with your team then they never going win anything the­ media is there to bring up negativity thats why so ­ many people read them If England dont beat Kazakhstan­ its down to overpaid and bigheaded stars not anything­ anyone said Lampard and Gerrard probably make more a­ week than the full Kazakhstan team then you got Beckham­ Owen Terry Ferdinand give or take some of them not­ playing but cummon England schoolboys should be able­ beat that mob

    From GAVIN, on Fri 10 Oct 8:42AM

  2. Go on then - Get lost! - People come her for a bit of a­ laugh and know exactly what there going to get.

    From , on Fri 10 Oct 8:25AM

  3. Whoever wrote this article should be sacked. I'm­ going back to the BBC sports web site, it's a­ thousand times better & you don't get stupid­ articles like this on there.

    From Mark J, on Fri 10 Oct 8:12AM

  4. England must win come sun or rain.
    History is not all­ that matters. 2-0 England cheers.
    From Nigeria

    From nelson_bielonwu, on Fri 10 Oct 7:14AM

  5. It is interesting that there is no byline to this silly­ article!

    From Expro, on Fri 10 Oct 6:13AM

  6. i think more.gerrard and lampard will include in the­ scoresheet tomorrow.hehe

    From mean_maroon, on Fri 10 Oct 5:34AM

  7. Stupid article. England will whip Kazakhs by at least 3­ goals.

    From LYN CHEN, on Fri 10 Oct 5:18AM

  8. ok everyone.don't worry cause we know that they­ will do anything and try to get a full point from­ Kazak.
    my prediction is England will win 3-0.Croatia­ was defeated and why not Kazakhtan????

    From mean_maroon, on Fri 10 Oct 5:09AM

  9. it is good news

    From sportinglove.com, on Fri 10 Oct 4:34AM

  10. wahta useless article by eurosport.

    From ffffffffffff, on Fri 10 Oct 3:25AM

  11. I'm not English, but this is not something you­ should publish. It will demoralise the team.
    You are­ supposed to boost their confidence not the other way­ around.
    Whenever there is a big tournament, England is­ always one of my favourite team.
    YNWA

    From c41ng0ku, on Fri 10 Oct 2:15AM

  12. I'm sure none of the teams here were ranked 131st­ in the world at the time we played them. I'm sure­ England will do just fine against the Kazakhs.

    From Charlie G, on Fri 10 Oct 1:59AM

  13. This is a useless article and a very unpatriotic one.­ Surely the author isn't English. You don't­ support your country by publishing their downfalls just­ before every game. This article is a shame. If­ there's a downfall in the England setup, it should­ be the media, with it's destructive criticism and­ inappropriate news. We don't need you to tell us­ that England is cra*.....

    From Abu, on Fri 10 Oct 1:40AM

  14. HOW IS THIS HELPING, PRINTING AN ARTICLE ABOUT ENGLANDS­ DOWNFALLS ON THE EVE OF A BIG GAME. PEOPLE, THE MEDIA­ INCLUDED OUGHT TO STOP WITH THE DOOMS DAY PREDICTIONS­ AND GET BEHIND THE TEAM. WE SEEM TO HAVE A SELF­ FULFILLING PROPHECY TO FAILIURE IN THIS COUNTRY AND­ I'M NOT SAYIN WE SHOULD BE LIKE THE AMERICANS BUT­ ATLEAST THEY BELIEVE IN THIER COUNTRY AND SING THIER­ NATIONAL ANTHEME WITH PRIDE.

    SHAME ON US FOR REMINDING­ OURSELVES OF THE NEGATIVE DEMONS. UNTIL THIS CHANGES IN­ THE MEDIA IN PARTICULAR WE SHALL ALWAYS LACK THE­ BELIEVE IT TAKES TO BE WINNERS!!

    From mighty_molby, on Fri 10 Oct 12:45AM

  15. @ Paul T..."To be honest i havent been watching­ england games recently (except vs Croatia)"...a­ true England fan i see :@)...i take it your a Man Pooh­ fan too :D

    From ackopd, on Fri 10 Oct 12:25AM

  16. Road of shame? Why is Ireland there?

    We kick yer @#$%­ at everything nothing new there.

    From joe, on Fri 10 Oct 12:19AM

  17. sorry....since he was born

    From Harry, on Thu 9 Oct 11:15PM

  18. Maclaren was a joke ever since he left boro'. Oh­ yeh that reminds me where's Paul Parker?!! He's­ another joke

    From Harry, on Thu 9 Oct 11:03PM

  19. Yes! I am afraid I have already bet £10,000 with a­ bookmaker at odds for England to lose by 1-0 The­ bookie set a figure at 100-1.

    I have seen the game and­ Kazakhstan scored the one goal in the 78 minute.

    The­ final score is 1-0 to Kazakhstan

    From GodSenior, on Thu 9 Oct 10:46PM

  20. Paul T... Good point. To be honest i havent been­ watching england games recently (except vs Croatia)­ Rooney was brilliant in that game. Other than that, I­ know J Cole had been perfoming for England prior to­ that. I know that the others have performed for club,­ but i dunno bout country.

    From ysm92, on Thu 9 Oct 10:45PM
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