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Before the Gossip Shop flings open its doors today, it is necessary to post a warning in the window.

Considering the current global financial meltdown - which must be pretty serious given that even Chelsea's transfer policy has been affected - what follows may induce rage, nausea and no small amount of envy.

Cristaino Ronaldo's agent has met with Manchester United officials with a view to increasing his client's weekly wage to a whopping £130,000.

That's right, £130,000 a week. The meagre £120,000 he currently pockets every seven days is clearly not enough for either the Portuguese winger or his Mr 10 per cent, but a 10 grand pay rise should just about do the trick.

But that kind of deal is not going to come easy. Oh no, Ronaldo will have to show some loyalty to earn the increase, meaning he'll no longer be able to open his trap about a move to Real Madrid.

And that, Gossip Shop reckons, must surely rank as some of the easiest money he'll ever make. (Other than getting paid for doing nothing more than driving a car around the streets of Lisbon to a Fatboy Slim soundtrack for a Suzuki advert.)

Talking of silly money, let's head across town, where there's plenty of it sloshing around Manchester City's coffers.

The latest rumour to emanate from Middle Eastlands is that City will offer Jose Mourinho the princely sum of £15 million a year to return to England and replace Mark Hughes.

According to The Sun, plans to bring the Special One to Manchester were hatched five weeks ago, long before doubts were raised over Hughes's position at the club.

The Internazionale boss is thought to be unhappy with certain aspects of the Italian game, one of which The Sun claims to be media hostility - none of that stuff over here, Jose - and he has already stated his desire to return to the Premier League at some stage.

Hughes may have received a recent vote of confidence from owner Khaldoon Al-Mubarek, but it was a flimsy one at best and he was given no assurances over his long-term future at the club, leaving the door open for Mourinho's long-awaited return at the end of the season.

Elsewhere, in the non-sports pages of the same paper, a beaming Noel Gallagher is pictured being presented with a signed Alessandro Del Piero shirt.

Now Gossip Shop isn't one to peddle unsubstantiated rumours (a barefaced lie), but the Juventus and Italy striker is well known to be a huge fan of Oasis - he even appeared in one of their videos, probably swaggering about looking moody, wearing Stan Smiths and a parka with the fur-lined hood up.

And with the Gallagher brothers heading a list of celebrity City fans - which incidentally also includes Ricky Hatton, Bernard Manning and Curly Watts from Corrie - is it possible that Del Piero could up sticks and make a shock move to Eastlands?

Jamming at Carrington and post-match drinks in the directors' lounge with his rock heroes could prove too big a temptation for a man who would also benefit from a big money move before he retires. Watch this space.

First Cris. Then Fred, followed Alex and Jo. A number of Brazilian footballers with English-sounding yet vaguely amusing mono-monikers have graced the game in recent years.

And now there is another, and he could be on his way to Arsenal . Allow Gossip Shop to introduce bright young Palmeiras striker... Lenny .

He may have a rubbish name - well, at least compared to the likes of Zico, Adair, Jarzinho, Romario or even Socrates - but according to the Mirror, the Gunners have already tied up the starlet with a pre-contract agreement.

Apparently the youngster has impressed during his 12 appearances for the Brazilian side this season, alerting Arsene Wenger who is planning to bring him to Europe with a view to loaning him out to a Spanish club to gain experience and a work permit in much the same way as Carlos Vela did.

Andrei Arshavin - remember him? The golden child of Russian football who wanted a move to Barcelona in the summer - or anywhere for that matter, including Tottenham - but didn't get it. Well, having seen his team fail to qualify for next season's Champions League, the Zenit St Petersburg playmaker is back at it and hankering after a move abroad. Premier League clubs have been, as they say, put on red alert.

Spurs could also be interested in the news that midfielder Stephen Appiah is now officially a free agent and no longer tied to Fenerbahce. The Ghana captain got himself involved in an almighty legal wrangle with the Turkish giants over the summer but FIFA have now made the ruling, freeing him up to sign for another club. West Ham and Arsenal are also thought to be keeping track of his whereabouts.

Meanwhile, up in Newcastle, Nicky Butt has added to concerns over the future of the club.

The newly discovered free-kick maestro fears players like Michael Owen and Steve Harper - whose contracts are running out - will leave the club as long as there is uncertainty over the ownership of the club.

In other tittle-tattle, worst Premier League side ever Derby County want Bolton defender Danny Shittu on a month's loan, Hull City are after Dutch speedster Eljero Elia of FC Twente and Roy Keane is interested in taking promising centre-back Adil Rami from Lille to Sunderland.

And with that, the Gossip Shop closes its doors to customers for another day. Thank you, come again.

Eurosport