Tour de France - Blazin' Saddles: Liqui-blast

Eurosport - Sat, 12 Jul 19:04:00 2008

The honeymoon is over. Just when the world started to believe in a clean Tour, along came the moment that so many had anticipated: a rider tests positive.

CYCLING 2008 Tour de France Manuel Beltrán Beltran - 0

Let uncle Blazin' Saddles take you back to the moment he discovered the news.

The scene: 8pm, Friday night. Blazin' Saddles is sitting in his Shoreditch warehouse, hunched over his laptop, surrounded by empty beer cans, stubbed out cigarettes and an array of skinny jeans, colourful wristbands, visors and other hip paraphernalia. He is trying to write his daily Tour blog before hitting the pub and the only idea he has so far is rambling on about the lessons learnt after one week's racing.

"Zut alors," Blazin' curses, for he has a penchant for the French language. This time last year, he recalls, there had already been a cluster of blood transfusions and high testosterone levels to speculate about, and hadn't that guy called 'chicken legs' or something been caught out for eating undisclosed tacos in Mexico?

And just as Blazin' begins to lament the good old days of cycling, the days when whole teams were caught out, when housewives' favourites like Richard Virenque were reduced to tears, when the Landises and Vinos and Rasmussens of this world made us briefly believe in heroism on two wheels, just when he begins to lament this seemingly bygone era, he decides to check eurosport.yahoo.com (admittedly to see how many more readers had called him a 'jerk' in the course of the afternoon) and is greeted with his saving grace: Manuel Beltran tests positive.

"P*tain!" Here we go again. Just when the public had thought this year would be free from scandal, the brown stuff hits the fan. Beltran, the 37-year-old Liquigas rider who was 26th in the classification, tested positive for EPO on the opening stage from Brest to Plumelec. (Had it been for testosterone, he could have always - wait for it - blamed it on the Brest)

The Spaniard has three Tour stage wins to his name, all of them team time trials with Lance Armstrong's US Postal and Discovery Channel outfits in 2003, 2004 and 2005.

Interestingly, Beltran is the fourth of Armstrong's former lieutenants - following the shamed Tyler Hamilton, Roberto Heras and Floyd Landis - to be caught out doping, a fact which will no doubt set tongues wagging.

More tellingly, perhaps, is the fact that Beltran is a veteran of the sport; a member of the old guard with his ways firmly set in the past. His case highlights that in this supposed new era of doping-free cycling, you cannot teach old dogs new tricks. No, no, no, old habits die hard. As they say, you can't change a leopard's spots.

"It is a damaging blow," International Cycling Union president Pat McQuaid said, with perhaps a slightly unfortunate choice of noun. Beltran has since been arrested, questioned by police and suspended from his team pending a B sample test. Liquigas will now have their hotel rooms searched and be subjected to Festina-like scrutiny.

Although manager Roberto Amadio says his team will continue, it makes you wonder if hiring a rider of dubious provenance such as Ivan Basso - and in doing so breaking the ProTour's strict ethical code - was sending out the right message to the rest of the team. Obviously not, is the simple answer.

The worry now for the Tour is that, as in years gone past, the first, usually low-profile case (remember Christian Moreni last year?) may well be succeeded by a bigger bombshell.

Only on Friday morning, French newspaper Le Monde revealed that ten "assez troublantes" (rather disconcerting) blood values had been found in riders' samples taken in the run up to the Tour. The names of the riders with abnormal levels were not published, but Blazin' Saddles is intelligent enough to presume that one of them was Beltran's - suggesting there will be at least nine "assez troublés" riders losing sleep over the next few days.

The only upshot is that Blazin' Saddles might be kept in a job for a bit longer.

- - -

Lessons Learnt

Before being belted with the Beltran blast, Blazin' Saddles had been reflecting over the first week's racing and thinking just how exciting it had all actually been. These are the few conclusions he reached.

Evans is in control: Without shining, the Australian has not put a foot wrong, lying second in the overall standings just six seconds behind Kim Kirchen and finishing every stage near the front. It might take a miracle to see the 31-year-old ever instigate an attack, but the passivity is serving him well.

Lunch on a bike is folly: Apart from one stage there has been a crash in every feeding zone so far, with debutant Herve Duclos-Lassalle the most unfortunate victim after breaking his wrist on day one after a musette choked up his spokes.

Kirchen is brimming with confidence: Second place in a sprint, second place in the ITT, the Luxembourgeois upgraded his green jersey for a yellow after Stefan Schumacher comically hit the deck. It remains to be seen how he fares over the big peaks, but we may have another Charly Gaul on our hands.

Kirchen may have too much confidence: The 30-year-old has already boasted about wearing the yellow all the way to Paris, while his claim that he would have beaten Schumacher by the 12 seconds needed to take yellow regardless of his crash was, to put it mildly, delusional.

The French are turning on the style: Frenchmen have been ever-present off the front of the peloton, with Sylvain Chavanel particularly explosive. Two polka dot jersey wearers, Romain Feillu in yellow and a Sammy Dumoulin stage win have given the home crowds the most excitement since pictures of their President's wife posing naked hit the news stands.

The French are falling like flies: It would be unfair to say that France's riders are living up to the national stereotype of being hypochondriacs, but over 50 per cent of those who have pulled out of the Tour hail from l'Hexagone.

Don't stand too close to the road (especially if you are a generously proportioned lady of a certain age): You will get hit by Aurelien Passeron, cry on international TV, break your arm, end his race and get ridiculed in not-actually-funny-at-all Tour blogs.

Best avoid trees and road furniture: Ask Lilian Jegou (broken wrist) and Angel Gomez (collar bone).

Moreau will surely retire now: An embarrassing effort from the veteran, pulling up before the Pyrenees and failing to shine in what must be his final Tour. Maybe he was "assez troublé" with something on his mind?

Ricco is the real deal: He may be annoying, cocky, disrespectful, loud, brash, squeaky, outspoken, arrogant etc etc. But he sure is entertaining, winning the stage he said he'd win to open his Tour account.

McEwen is isolated: With his team Silence Lotto focusing solely on Evans' overall classification hopes, if Robbie is to win a sprint, it will be without a lead out. The Australian veteran has already said his next chance might only come on the Champs.

Cav is the new McEwen: A faultless train to lead him out and sheer pace and determination to see him to the line, Mark Cavendish is the new fastest man in the peloton. He's also about as popular as McEwen.

Chapeau Columbia: Founded, like Garmin, on a heavy anti-doping stance, the team formally known as High Road has Kirchen in green and yellow, Cavendish winning the sprints and Thomas Lovkvist as best youngster. That said, it still humours Blazin' Saddles to think in this day of anti-doping any team would consider calling themselves Columbia.

Schumacher is Vin Diesel's younger brother: Have you seen the bald German without his helmet on?

Spain are sailing: First Euro 2008, then Wimbledon, Spain's roll is continuing in France as they become the first nation to win two stages.

Cunego is not up to it: Not only is his form not there, he has a stupid hairstyle.

Valverde is the same old Valverde: Created a buzz by winning the opening stage, but then put in a weak time trial before falling of his bike a day later in innocuous circumstances. At this rate, his presence in Paris is far from certain.

De La Fuente is a very lucky man: The Spaniard took the polka dot jersey on Friday but only after narrowly avoiding doing a Frank Schleck and plummeting into a ravine. Descending on a wet, slippery road at top speed, De La Fuente managed to stabilise himself twice in quick succession after his back wheel almost gave way a la Beloki.

And finally The 2008 Tour appears to be clean: Does no drugs scandals finally mean the peloton has seen the back of the cheats? (Hmm, this one can now be excluded.)

- - -

It's the sprinters' Toulouse

Saturday's stage eight, from Figeac to Toulouse, may feature the odd lower category climb early on, but should provide a chance for the speed merchants to do battle one last time before the Pyrenees set in.

Seeing that Toulouse was where Saint-Exupery wrote Le Petit Prince, Blazin' Saddles is going for a Cavendish win. Although don't discount a break-away artist to take the spoils, as did Juan Antonio Flecha the last time the race visited the student town in 2003.

- - -

Plat du Jour

It has to be Saucisses de Toulouse with a side order of Cassoulet. As for a drink, a syringe of whatever Beltran had should be enough to help Blazin' Saddles get through the weekend.

- - -

Lanterne Rouge

Following the Schumacher incident on stage six Eurosport commentator, former pro and near-indecipherable Irishman Sean Kelly, said it was "understandable" that the 3km rule was not applicable on hilltop finishes because if that was the case, "the riders will abuse that situation".

He raises an interesting point, but that said, Blazin' Saddles cannot even see someone like Ricco actually simulate a fall and hit the deck intentionally in order to pick up the same time as a rival. But maybe he is being too innocent. What do you think?

- - -

Watch live coverage of every stage on your PC via the Eurosport player - click on the link under the picture to subscribe.

Or watch the action on British Eurosport - available in the UK on Sky channel 410 and Virgin Media channel 521 or British Eurosport 2 - available on Sky 411 and Virgin Media 525.

Felix Lowe / Eurosport

Comment 1 - 2 of 2

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  1. Clean Tour?!?! LOLOL
    Now a days it is impossible to any high level competitation athlete to compete without being doped. Be prepared to the new doping technics that works at genetic level, making doping difficult to identify without biopsy.
    By the way, stop blindness doping at sports like football, athletics and swimming!!!

    From photorui, on Sat 12 Jul 12:39PM
  2. Hey Blazin', picture a mountain top finish, swarming with fans waiting since morning going abouslutly bonkers after a few cold ones in the hot Alpine sun for their favorite (who may only a few seconds away from his first golden fleece...).
    With under two clicks to go, around the bend comes the first groupe, "the Heads of State", as a certain Cycle World editor would put it, but alas without the crouds favorite, who has been isolated and is floundering on the brink of total bonk just a handful of seconds behind.
    In a case like this, I think that any rider in this situation would welcome some intemate contact with the ultimate cycling fan, Eric the fotographer...
    If the three klick rule was in effect on mountaintops, would it not be your duty as a true and crazy fan to act in any other way?

    From jonathanmartinbisek@..., on Sat 12 Jul 9:19AM
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