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Missed the first nine days of the Tour? Let Saddles remind you what happened.

Both yellow jersey and green jersey changed hands just once. Spartacus donned the first maillot jaune after a predictable ITT win before thwarting Lance by 0.22 seconds after the TTT.

The treasured yellow is currently being worn by some veteran Italian journeyman riding his debut Tour going by the name of Ronaldo Nonentity.

As for green, Cav, all balls and gusto, dominated early proceedings with two wins before we were reminded that rain, wind and a gentle uphill gradient weren't his thing. The Bull of Grimstad, powered by his mother's meatballs, made him green with envy.

The polka dot jersey was worn by a different rider practically every day - which is odd seeing that BS can't remember any mountains having been climbed. In fact, heavy wind was responsible for more time losses than any of the so-called Pyrenean stages.

Team Astana have dominated everything - the headlines, the race, the time trials, you name it - and are sitting pretty going into the business end of the race. Rumour has it there's a little tension in the camp between Alberto and Lance, but BS can't confirm. They do have a tendency to attack each other and prattle on about who's "the strongest".

France have, surprisingly, been pretty good, winning three stages in five days to record their largest haul since the days of Jalabert and Virenque. Could this be something to do with the rather flat parcours?

The unpronounceable Piet Roojiakkers aimed a kidney punch at Cav one day and broke his arm in three places the next. The Dutchman needed seven hours of surgery and a bone graft from his hip. Lucky Floyd Landis never broke his arm, eh?

Cadel was yet again let down by his lightweight team and then lambasted by pretty much everyone for doing something no one expected: attacking. Denis the Menace still has bad balance while Charlie Boonen seems to be paying for past misdemeanours.

Vande Velde (not the golfer) has been outshone by his Garmin team-mate Wiggo, who has become a mountain goat almost overnight. "They'll all think I'm on drugs," the Brit admitted. As for reigning champion Carlito Sastre, BS isn't sure if he's even racing. Has anyone seen him?

Everyone in the peloton bar Contador has been infected with some variant of swine flu whereby the symptoms reveal themselves in the unhealthy idolisation of a former titan.

Throughout the week the Astana team bus became some kind of cirque de celebrité, what with the visits of actor Ben Stiller and comedian Robin Williams. You'd think that this would make Armstrong's rivals hate him even more, but it seems not.

Finally, the riders took a plane - which was "hotter than donut grease" according to Lance - to Limoges, where they will resume the action with stage ten.

REST DAY RECAP: Big George Hincapie had a love-in as Columbia-HTC and Lancestana went on a training ride together. "Great to catch up with my boy," said Lance. "Miss that guy."

Obviously rather peeved by his standing in Astana, Contador revealed he was in talks with Formula One racing driver Fernando Alonso over setting up an all-Spanish team next year in which he will actually be given leadership status.

Meanwhile, Evans' Silence-Lotto manager Hendrik Redant had a pop at all the teams kowtowing to Lancestana: "If they all had the guts to go together, maybe something would happen. Everybody's just waiting to get killed off by Astana."

In the next room, Andy Schleck waxed lyrical about the American, saying he would be "hard to catch" in the Alps because he was "very, very strong" and "very lean" - which is rich coming from the peloton's thinnest whippet.

QUOTE OF THE RACE: Former directeur sportif Cyrille Guimard likened Evans' attack in stage eight to "the last cigarette of a condemned man".

PLAT DU JOUR: The author Balzac once said the wines of Issoudun, Tuesday's finish town, "would be one of the best wines in France" if only the wine makers didn't leave refuse in the juice during fermentation, "making it detestable". Still, the food's ok: lentil soup with truffles and chicken with snails and goat cheese ravioli.

PREDICTION: It's Bastille Day and so the French winning streak must continue or someone might lose his head. With the race radio ban acting in their favour, expect David Moncoutie, Samuel Dumoulin or Sylvan Chavanel to have a pop.

Don't forget to follow Blazin' Saddles throughout the day at www.twitter.com/saddleblaze.

Stage 10 LIVE at 12.30pm on Tuesday 14th July on British Eurosport (Sky 410 / Virgin Media 521); Also available on your PC via the Eurosport Player - click on the link under the picture to subscribe

Felix Lowe / Eurosport