Premier League - Transfer Talk: Tower of London

Eurosport - Tue, 15 Jul 10:06:00 2008

The ongoing Ronaldinho story means Transfer Talk has been shorn of its top story and is now led by the underwhelming Andy Johnson.

2008 Andy Johnson - 0

Johnson is a big fan of hanging out with American tourists, visiting the Tower of London, eating in Aberdeen Steak Houses, paying £4 for a tube ticket, souding like Dick van Dyke, getting stabbed by 15-year-olds, moaning about the demise of the Routemaster bus, voting a mop-haired clown in as mayor, going to see Spamalot, eating jellied eels, driving aggressively and mismanaging the 2012 Olympics.

That is why the Everton man wants a move to London. Anywhere will do - even Fulham.

Despite having a pier and a rugby league team, Wigan just doesn't do it for Johnson, while Sunderland's Nissan factory leaves him similarly cold.

Stoke fans will be going potty over the news that the Premier League new boys are set to sign Liverpool goalkeeper Scott Carson .

City boss Tony Pulis is yet to add a new face to his squad of 'competitive' louts and potential England number one Carson, who spent last season on loan at Aston Villa, would represent a steal at £4 million.

It is said that Villa, who were originally put off by the Reds' reported £10 million valuation, are now turning their attention to Spurs goalie Paul Robinson despite the slashed price tag.

Could it be that manager Martin O'Neill is throwing his toys out after the Merseyside club's courtship of his captain Gareth Barry?

The problem with having a high opinion of yourself is that, sooner or later, somebody is going to have to agree with it.

This is the quandary in which El-Hadji Diouf finds himself. Having confidently said he was leaving Bolton to go somewhere better, the Senegalese llama impersonator has received precisely no offers.

"You can't always do what you want to do," said Bolton manager Gary Megson, possibly reflecting on the trials of a ginger teenager trying to kiss girls.

Everyone knows American goalkeepers are good, but Aston Villa have taken the theory one step further by looking to sign pretty much anyone called Brad.

Having struck a deal with Chivas USA to sign Brad Guzan, the Villans need a contingency plan in case he fails to get a work permit and think they have one in the shape of Brad Friedel.

Manchester City and Arsenal are also interested in Friedel, and should Villa miss out on both men they will divert their attention to Brad Pitt and, as a last resort, Bradley Walsh.

Pablo Aimar is more injury-prone than an extra in Rambo. Which makes him the perfect transfer target for Newcastle.

The crazy-haired, very occasionally brilliant attacking midfielder was headed to Portsmouth on loan but the Toon have pressed the button marked 'hijack' with an ill-advised £7m bid.

The following sounds like the kind of thing routinely made up to fill the lower reaches of Transfer Talk, but this one apparently has some truth to it.

Everton are interested in Lille right-back Stephan Lichtsteiner, who played all three games for Switzerland at Euro 2008.

David Moyes is willing to bet £700,000 that Lichtsteiner is better than Tony Hibbert.

Egyptian striker Amr Zaki has signed a new contract with Zamalek until 2012 which, paradoxically, is good news for Wigan Athletic as it means they will be able to sign him on loan.

Tottenham defender Ricardo Rocha met Hull City manager Phil Brown at the club's training ground on Friday.

The subjects discussed included the works of Emily Bronte, differential equations and a possible move to the KC Stadium.

Alex Chick / Eurosport

Comment 14 - 33 of 33

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  1. AJ isnt going NOWHERE....................... He is already there NOWHERE=EVERTON!!!!! He could move to Scotland but thats the back of NOWHERE but he would atleast score some goals there and of course fall over even more.

    From Dave, on Tue 15 Jul 9:05AM

  2. hey f...s who is talking about Kazakhstan. Sh..t ur f. . mouth

    From Darkhan T, on Tue 15 Jul 2:09AM

  3. To be honest i only think Liverpool loaned Scott Carson to Villa, was to ensure they wouldnt steal in and pinch there 4th spot.
    I watched him last season and he had some right howlers for Villa aswell as England, infact like i say if they never had him in goal for some of them games they probably would have finished higher than Liverpool in the league.

    I would say 3.5 million is about right has he his only young, i just hope he gets better, because you know if he does sign for stke and they ship a lot of goals his confidence goes he could end up looking like Frank Carson!!!!

    Having said that Liverpool are desperate to generate money for the barry deal which i think now the Alonso deal as fell through will not happen and i believe he will be at Arsenal next season.

    good luck at stok FRANK

    From nick_taylor31, on Tue 15 Jul 12:01AM

  4. jesus, what a bunch of t/44ers

    From WILL M, on Mon 14 Jul 10:48PM

  5. Seriously though. This is getting as good as ED (well obviously, some of the same people..), only without the horde of blithering idiots posting.

    From aardhaart, on Mon 14 Jul 10:40PM

  6. david villa doesn't want to leave valencia, making his addition difficult for a club like liverpool. chels~oil can keep sending more rubles over until the club and the player cannot resist. we can't do this at anfield, we need there to be a willingness from the player and the club, and a fair valuation. i can't see that happening with a player like villa, robbie keane seems much more likely, and his goal rate the past half decade has been pretty impressive for hotspur.

    From master shake, on Mon 14 Jul 8:56PM

  7. GO TO URL OF NICK

    From www.premiership.altervista.org, on Mon 14 Jul 8:18PM

  8. Your attempts at being funny are excrutiating. Please write less drivel and provide us with facts and not the pathetic chit-chat we normally have to sift through. I could write funnier comments than you so maybe your boss should hook me up with a job and let you have a permanent holiday!

    From andrew_bannon, on Mon 14 Jul 7:15PM

  9. IMO liverpool problems r not in signings last season we have been tremwendous at the back but in front of goal where problems lie if we can sort this out will be ok signing fullbacks with aTTACKING qualities because we cant sign a proper striker like villa no title then 3rd 4th may be but not a winner absolutely serious in the market serfious on the pitch joking in the market joking on the pitch, world class striker like villa some one in midfield like xavi senna or fabregas= title with no doubt comon you reds.

    From berlingoms, on Mon 14 Jul 6:48PM

  10. billy.mccue - it's Liverpool and Aston Villa.... Surely you can work it out... but if you can't here's a very big clue - Gareth Barry lol cracks me up actually... Go Stoke lol... Barry come be a gooner mate we'll give Martin about 15mill that should annoy liverfool Y.N.W.A= You'll Not Win Apremeirship-title

    From Andy, on Mon 14 Jul 6:40PM

  11. why hasnt anyone at liverpool offered 15million cash plus carson for gareth barry. this surely seems to be the way forward, or am i missing something.

    From carlking1, on Mon 14 Jul 6:09PM

  12. Borat is the man to report anything he is a legend yeeessss i think football is shiittee but z wagz are zvery good looking like z prostitute inz kazahkstan!

    From dbowzee, on Mon 14 Jul 5:51PM

  13. how come liverpool wanted 10mill for carson when he was at villa,but he is now omly worth 4mill if stoke go for him?.

    From billy.mccue, on Mon 14 Jul 5:22PM

  14. Actually, looking at it, I think 'derisory' was actually the word I was looking for.

    From big_fat_ryder, on Mon 14 Jul 4:31PM

  15. 'Derising' - nay laddie it's 'derisive'! and since this is probably written by some obscure editor called Borat from Kazahkstan what more cane you expect.

    From M H, on Mon 14 Jul 4:15PM

  16. It's hard to tell on messageboard when someone is being sarcastic - but 'killa', you really don't seem to see the irony between the comment you are making and the name you have chosed for yourself.

    The only thing you are killing is English Grammar. (FYI this isn't sarcastic, just derising)

    From big_fat_ryder, on Mon 14 Jul 3:55PM

  17. Andy Johnson has declarded that he wants to stay at Everton and who could blame him, if he does go the only club he will go to is Birmingham City now that Steve Bruce has gone...the option that has been suggested that he comes to Birmingham City on loan and when we go up we buy him. Not a bad bit of business but as all Birmingham City fans say we wish him all the best regardless

    From Neil 07, on Mon 14 Jul 3:38PM

  18. english grammer - but if somebody is not going nowhere, then technically, they must be going somewhere? i think i agree with dwpboxing

    From catchpoledaniel, on Mon 14 Jul 3:24PM

  19. AJ wont be going anywhere!!! Cant believe all this nonsense people are talking!!! Why would we get rid of one of our best players!!! Come on moyes sort it out!!!

    From leebielby88, on Mon 14 Jul 3:08PM

  20. WHAT DO YOU MEAN INVALID COMMENTS? ITS LOOKS PERFECT TO ME.

    From Hammers41, on Mon 14 Jul 3:07PM
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