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Being labelled as the new version of an established favourite is a risky business.

Brown may have been labelled the new black, but Goths and Emo kids everywhere still use the latter shade as their uniform of choice for looking different and misunderstood. And while comedy (something GS admittedly knows little about) was once dubbed the new rock and roll, the Mark Watsons of this world still look on enviously as the Mark Ronsons fight off the screaming teenage hotties.

However, none of the factors highlighted in that meandering preamble will stop Milan offering Yoann Gourcuff to Liverpool as part of a deal to bring defender Daniel Agger to the San Siro.

Gourcuff - the 483rd young French midfielder to be tipped as 'the new Zidane' - spent an unhappy two seasons with the Rossonerri before his current loan move to Bordeaux, which has seen him break into the French national side. How much of a plus point that is at the moment is debatable of course.

Not to de outdone by their north-west neighbours, Manchester United have offered a trial to 17-year-old Partizan Belgrade prodigy Adem Ljajic - who has apparently been nicknamed 'Little Kaka', although Partizan fans call him 'Cira' in reference to former Belgrade and Barcelona player Dragan Ciric. Not very amusing, but true nonetheless.

Marlon Harewood could soon be swapping the corner flags of Villa Park for those of the Britannia Stadium, if the £3.5 million Stoke City boss Tony Pulis dangles in front of Martin O'Neill is tempting enough to see him sell the professional ball-shielder.

Over at Champions League-bound Hull City, boss Phil Brown wants to make versatile defender Kamil Zayatte's loan from Young Boys a permanent deal at the end of the season, and it looks like he'll get the big Guinean on the cheap.

Zayatte's agent Willie McKay said: "Hull chairman Paul Duffen is a clever negotiator. Zayatte could be worth three times the fee agreed." Surely it's your job to make sure the fee is three times as much, Willie?

From players to bosses now, and the Daily Mirror reports that Terry Venables is being lined up as the man to take over at QPR should the club's owners lose patience with Iain Dowie.

QPR are already eight points off the automatic promotion places with 10 matches of the season gone, and Dowie was reportedly 'reminded of what was expected' following the 1-0 defeat at Birmingham City.

El Tel lives a mere 15-minute walk from Loftus Road, making the job a far more enticing prospect than upping sticks and moving to Newcastle for sure. Should playboy owner Flavio Briatore and co make him their glamour signing he would surely be supported with more cash than Dowie - ie some.

The man who dared to tread where Tel would not - Joe Kinnear - has belatedly apologised to the FA for his filth-filled rant at journalists, which became an instant highlight in the lives of sneering football gossip webpages everywhere.

An FA statement said: "The FA has received an apology for any offence that his comments may have caused. He has been advised that, in the event of similar public comments, disciplinary proceedings may be brought against him."

The Guardian reports that England's nascent World Cup 2018 bid has taken a bit of a knock after it transpired that Premier League chairman Sir Dave Richards will not be joining the campaign.

Richards recently resigned as chairman of the Football Foundation, but believes that to take up a seat on the bid's board would be turning his back on Premier League members who - save for Manchester United chief David Gill - have been deliberately excluded from the campaign in favour of more politicians.

British pipe entrepreneur Paul Davidson has got the green light to go ahead with his £35 million purchase of La Liga outfit Real Mallorca, so says the Daily Mail.

The Macclesfield-born multi-millionaire has been working on the deal for months, and will soon be able to implement his plan to have "a great big boozer going near the ground" in order to entice British holidaymakers to the ground.

And finally, the occasional award for Photoshop Effort of the Day goes to The Sun for their headline "Make Minsk meat of 'em" accompanied by a picture of England boss Fabio Capello as a butcher, complete with a Three Lions crest on his little hat.

GS can't wait until the next time England play Belgium, when no doubt the paper will have Signor Fab dressed as a grocer holding up some brussel sprouts, or a friendly in Switzerland previewed with the headline 'Berne Baby Berne' and Capello's head stuck on the body of a hunky fireman, hose in hand. Well that's the best GS can think of, got any better ideas?

Tony Mabert / Eurosport