Rate it!

8 votes

What really stood out in the aftermath of Tom Boonen's third Paris-Roubaix win was the Boon King's assertion that "once more, it's been proven that you can't win a race by sticking on someone's wheel".

For anyone watching the travails of second-placed Filippo 'The Shadow' Pozzato on Sunday, it was a universalism that rang only too true.

The previous weekend saw Pozzato stick to Boonen to such an extent that the Belgian's QuickStep team-mate Stijn Devolder managed to ride free to defend his Tour of Flanders crown without much ado.

And a week later in the 'Hell of the North', Pozzato's tactic of holding Boonen's wheel came undone once again - and this time thanks to Boonen's relentless, brutal brilliance.

Pozzato is not the only one to be found at fault. Leif Hoste was hoping to deliver a belated performance for the Silence-Lotto squad by being dragged along by team-mate Johan van Summeren and the other riders in the decisive breakaway - and it was precisely sticking on Juan Antonio Flecha's wheel that was his undoing.

Hoste's team-mate Cadel Evans, not riding across the cobbles on Sunday but nevertheless stroking his chin while watching the action on Eurosport, is an example of how Boonen's statement can apply to a three-week stage race.

In fact, Evans is living proof that you do not win the Tour de France by sticking on someone's wheel - something the Australian has done for two years now, picking him up two runners-up spots (but no cigar) on the podium in the process.

Back to Roubaix though. It was an extraordinary event. Despite crashing early on and having to change his bike with 30km remaining, Boonen rode a perfect, attacking race on his way to defending his crown for his third Paris-Roubaix title in five years.

And what a week for QuickStep as both Devolder and Boonen repeated their feats of 2008 across the cobbles of Belgium and north France.

As his rivals dropped like flies, Boonen's actions resembled a World War I film where soldiers go over the top and are picked off by snipers until there is but one standing - alone, triumphant in No Man's Land, as the enemy yield their guns and wave white handkerchiefs in surrender.

As Boonen said: "This race is all about surviving, surviving, surviving."

Poor Thor 'God of Thunder' Hushovd though; silenced for a second week running by a roadside barrier. Poor Hoste, whose chances ended after face-planting the pave as Flecha hit the deck.

As for Pozzato, he did avoid cobblestone catastrophe - despite the best efforts of an errant female spectator who inexplicably ran across his path just moments before he zoomed by. But by now, Boonen was already steaming ahead to the velodrome.

The Italian had ridden a more aggressive race than in Flanders, but he still was Boonen's shadow. Actually, he wasn't even that, for Tornado Tom was too far ahead.

DONKEY KONG TOM: Boonen is one of those riders with such an explosive style and such an armoury of talent that it comes as no surprise that he's got such a staggering array of nicknames.

Besides the ones already mentioned there's also: Benny Love, the All Belgian Boy and, er, Mr Sexy Legs (don't ask). But Blazin' Saddles thinks it's about time to bring his three pet donkeys into the equation.

For while Boonbastic Tom slogged his way to an historic treble, BS would wager his monthly blogging salary that the Flem Gem was spurred on by thoughts of Kamiel, Rasta and Reggae - his four-legged furry friends.

Boonen's talent obviously rubs off on his donkeys because, if you consult the rider's own official site, you'll be astounded to learn that one of them can actually write.

"My name is Kamiel Boonen, the donkey of Tom Boonen, and in this text I would like to tell you some more about myself," goes the intro of what proves to be a disturbingly insightful read.

Kamiel continues: "I met Tom for the first time at his first fan day in November 2004. He always wanted a donkey, so the local council thought of giving me to Tom.

"Oh man... he was so happy when he saw me! I got fondled immediately and I knew right away he would make a great boss."

Excuse me? BS never thought Tom had it in him For those who think this is fabricated nonsense, BS puts his hands up and swears that Kamiel the donkey did indeed write this stuff with his own very hooves (either that, or he dictated it to his "boss" while being "fondled" because it's all there on the website).

Indeed, if you thought the 28-year-old wasn't the type who could get so close to a donkey, then login to www.tomboonen.com. Is that the face of someone for whom such a penchant would be altogether inconceivable?

Anyway, Kamiel goes on to recount the day his two "buddies" arrived: "God they were ugly! Two grey donkeys with long rasta hairdo! Rasta and Reggea. I couldn't believe my eyes, but on the other hand, I now felt like the most handsome donkey in the world.

"Rasta and Reggae are looked after now as well and their rasta hairdo cut off. From then on the three of us got along really well and we chase each other every day, the one running after the other.

"Especially when Tom is around, we all want to be at our best and show him what we can do. Sometimes I do miss Tom a little, but the three of us are very enthusiastic fans of his. In effect, we're even the best donkey-racers ourselves!"

Sometimes you cannot add something to anything to make it any better - and that is the case here. Pure, unadulterated joy - right up there with Lassie and Gentle Ben. Kamiel comes across as such a nice Donkey and Boonen a top boss. Chapeau.

TWITS, ALL OF THEM: Lance Armstrong is in hot water again over his recent drugs test by the AFLD. It seems that although he tested negative, he hardly made things better by reporting the whole incident on Twitter, mocking the anti-doping agency in the process.

This just exacerbated matters and now the American's Tour de France campaign is in jeopardy, although this is an exaggeration according to Tour director Christian Prudhomme who said: "I imagine he will be at the Tour de France and I imagine he will also be at the Giro d'Italia."

Giro organisers are taking precautions just in case Armstrong's improper behaviour results in a ban from racing in France; stage 10 of the race has been altered so not to enter France apparently due to "snowfall" and nothing more sinister.

So, if CONI enforce Alejandro Valverde's ban in Italy then what are the chances of the Tour shelving their stage to Italy this July? Over to you Christian

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "Flecha better not come near me. I'm furious since we are the suckers," Lief Hoste reacts after the Rabobank rider ended the hopes of him and team-mate Johan Van Summeren.

Speaking to CyclingNews, the Silence-Lotto rider elaborated with just a hint of sour grapes: "Flecha ruins my race first of all when he wasn't pulling and acting stupidly. Then he was able to attack and in the end it turned out he wasn't even able to steer. Personally I'm sick of it."

TALKING POINTS: Is Paris-Roubaix too dangerous? Riders were brought down by over-excited spectators; 16 fans were injured when a motorbike ploughed into them on the roadside; and Pozzato was almost felled by that errant girl - is it time to bring in barriers? Not that that would help Hushovd of course.

Felix Lowe / Eurosport