Tour de France - Blazin' Saddles: Postal service

Eurosport - Wed, 16 Jul 11:32:00 2008

While out walking in the Pyrenean foothills during rest day, Blazin' Saddles stumbled across a large yellow bag emblazoned with the words 'La Poste'.

CYCLING Letters generic - 0

The bag, which seemed to contain letters destined for overseas delivery, must have got dropped while post-workers were on a hilltop strike looking for the implementation of a 10-hour week and a quadruple pay rise.

You can imagine the smile that beamed across Blazin' Saddles' face when, amongst the clutter, he discovered a whole cluster of postcards written by some very familiar names.

Here is a selection for your benefit:

+++

Dear Mum and Dad, you can breathe now - I'm in yellow, you ripper! Now I know what Lance Armstrong meant by 'every second counts'. Cycling can be so cruel sometimes and yesterday I lost so much blood I thought I was going to die, but it's a funny thing cycling, and now I'm on top again. I've done so much for the sport - I mean, I've lived for it for a start - and so I guess it's deserved.

But it's all quite emotional, and I must try and keep my composure. But guess what, you're right, I tried that attacking tactic you suggested and it worked - I actually went faster. Menchov has seen the light and is now riding more like I used to, just sticking to my wheel, which I guess I must take as a compliment.

There's a long way to go to Paris till it's fair dinkum so I can't get too carried away.

Wish me luck! Cadel

+++

Caio mama, I hope you are watching me on the TV. This is too easy. I say I gonna win in Super Besse. I win. I win again in the Pyrenees and say Piepoli will win tomorrow. He do. Now I will win again in Alpe d'Huez and after that, why not the clock race? I will just look at them with my eyes and attack like the cobra!

And you see how bad Damiano is? He ride like big vegetable every day. I am now the prince of Italia. If only Marco could see me today, he would say 'the cobra, that's my son on a bike'. I am invincible! Next year I will win this race easily.

Arrivederci, Riccy

+++

Privyet Roman, all is going to plan. My rivals, they know nothing. I always peak in third week of second Tour. That is why I did Giro this year. I am having fun following the wheel of Evans but soon I will have him for breakfast. The problem is Schleck. I feel like I see double. He is everywhere. Maybe there is two of him?

When I win, I will join you on your yacht in Monaco and then we can travel to watch Chelsea play in English Premier League. I like Asharvin as a player. I used to date his sister. You should buy for Chelsea.

Spasiba, Denis

+++

Hallo! Das ist good, ya? Yesterday I did my duty for Frank and rode to the top of the Tourmalet in record time and with maximum efficiency. I was so good I felt like Eddy Merckx.

I ate Valverde and Cunego with my speed. I have not won a stage yet so I might attack tomorrow and win before Frank wins on Alpe d'Huez. Ok, I must train.

See you soon for the Octoberfest. Jens.

Ps. Mama, don't worry, I am wearing sun cream on my nose.

+++

Caio mama! Finally I win a stage on the Tour de France. I thought this year, no, because Ricco is attacking all the time, but Cobo and me, we tell him to let us go alone today and for once he listen. You should have seen the cobra last Wednesday after he crash. He cry and cry like a baby. Not cobra, but grass-snake!

Prego, Leonardo

PS. My breathing is ok in the mountains because I am using my asthma inhaler.

+++

Stonefish, how are ya, mate? God, this Tour sucks. First it was just uphill finishes, then that small guy Cav the Chav came from nowhere. Where's his respect? I'm bleeding 12 years older than him. And now with Cadel in yellow I've been told I have to help pace him in the mountains. Before the team used to ride for me, now I am doing it all alone. Struth, that's almost as bad as being forced to have a tinny with Stuey and Baden.

See ya soon, pal. Keep the coals hot, Robbie

+++

Hola amigo, I hope everyone at home do not think I let down the whole of Spain. After Euro 2008 and then Nadal at Wimbledon, I was determined to win the Tour. After the first stage every one asked 'has he gone to early?'. They were right. Just like my fight against losing the hair, I will not give up, but I think all I can do now is win another stage.

Oscar is in a bad mood with me because he wanted to attack in Pyrenees. He called me names. I said he only won Tour because Landis is a dope. We no speak now. I can't wait until the spring classic season. One day is easier than three weeks.

Hasta luego, Alejandro

+++

Hallo, can you believe it how close I came?! One second! I am so disappointed, but happy all the same. At least the whole of Luxembourg is not only talking about Kim now. Andy is really jealous because he totally crumbled on the Hautacam, but I rode well and I think Evans will be scared now. If I win on Alpe d'Huez again then the time trial will be very interesting.

See you, Frank.

Saunier raking it in

After 10 days of racing, Italian team Saunier Duval are topping the pay charts thanks to their three stage wins (Ricco x2, Piepoli). The team's swag bag is now just under 51,000 euros, while Team Columbia are but a handful of notes down thanks to Mark Cavendish and Kim Kirchen's successes.

Shamefully bringing up the rear are Lampre and QuickStep, who have netted just 3,220 and 1,050 euros each - out of a total of 341,350 euros handed out thus far.

A whole new world

Wednesday's transitional Stage 11 from Lannemezan to Foix is, to coin Aladdin, a whole new world. Neither flat, not fully mountainous, the 167.5km foray along the Pyrenean valleys will be perfect for a group of escapees, but should hold no bearing in the overall standings.

Yes, the first-category Col de Portel is making it's Tour debut, but this comes more than 50km before the finish and should prove rudimentary for both the race's top dogs and for weaker riders, such as Alejandro Valverde and Damiano Cunego.

Blazin' Saddles expects Andy Schleck to give it a dig and, following the younger Schleck brother's weak performance up the Hautacam, Evans and co. would surely not feel threatened by such a move. Schleck's CSC team-mate Jens Voigt might have a pop too, along with the requisite tally of French chancers.

Watch out for Stage 3 winner Sammy Dumoulin too: the race passes through a town called Le Moulin and so the man-child might feel obliged to get some wind in his sails.

Plat du Jour

Nice, simple mountain food is the order of the day: a few slices of jambon de sanglier (cured wild boar) followed by some boudin aux raisins (black pudding with, er, raisins) and offset with some goat's cheese with local sweet runny honey. As for lubrication, the Arriege region has a few local beers including La Brouche, a cloudy brew with a fruity head and an after-taste of cinnamon and clover.

Sounds rank, tastes good.

Lanterne Rouge

The moment that Denis Menchov discovered (wrongly of course) that Frank Schleck was a closet rent-boy: "It's not only between Evans and me. Of course Sastre is OK too, but the problem is Schleck. He's in the game as well."

Watch live coverage of every stage on your PC via the Eurosport player - click on the link under the picture to subscribe.

Or watch the action on British Eurosport - available in the UK on Sky channel 410 and Virgin Media channel 521 or British Eurosport 2 - available on Sky 411 and Virgin Media 525.

Felix Lowe / Eurosport

Comment 1 - 2 of 2

Sort comments by: Most recent | Most rated
  1. can some body answer a question? i see that motorcyclists and car's seem to be cluttering up the roads, while the the cyclists are trying to race. If I remember rightly a cyclist had a collision with a motorbike 2 TDF'a ago Surely the motorbike and car's should be kept out of the way and give the cyclists room?

    From John Hamer, on Wed 16 Jul 9:03AM
  2. C'mmon Schuni spin those wheels 6' 11" behind is not an impossible margin to make up :-)

    Dear Mum,

    My Chelski Traktor is getting horrendously expensive to keep on the Kings Road.

    Big Phil keeps ignoring me and I think he only wants me to keep the bench warm, shared a Milk Shake and Jellied Eels with Curbishley on Mile End Road the other day I think I will sign with WHUFC after all playing every week at Upton Park sounds like more fun than playing once every two months at Chelski:-)

    Your Big Boy Ballack

    From ralph c, on Wed 16 Jul 8:22AM
Sort comments by: Most recent | Most rated

Not already a Yahoo! user ? to get a free Yahoo! Account