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So sang John Lennon in 1967, back when life at White Hart Lane was far more enjoyable.

These days, Tottenham are a crisis club; scientific fact.

So perhaps it is understandable for Spurs to look back to '67, the year they registered an FA Cup triumph and actually looked capable of winning games, for inspiration as to how best dig themselves out of the hole they currently occupy.

Weirdly, Lennon's lyrics could well hold the key to Spurs' revival - and there's not even any need to play the record backwards to decipher it.

In a remarkable display of foresight, Lennon has revealed the answer to Spurs' problems a good 40 years before it was needed. (Actually, that is open to debate - some may claim Spurs needed inspiration quite some time ago).

Love. Apparently, Wagner Love is all Spurs need.

With Darren Bent and Roman Pavlyuchenko unable to play together - another scientific fact, fact fans - the CSKA Moscow hitman could be just what Spurs need to fire them out of trouble.

The Daily Star reports that the Brazil striker could be on his way to White Hart Lane once the transfer window re-opens in January, but Juande Ramos will have to make a large dent in his transfer budget to get his man - a £12 million-sized dent to be precise.

Meanwhile, Kolo and Yaya Toure could become the next in a long line of distinguished on-field fraternal partnerships which includes the Charltons, the Greenhoffs, the De Boers and the Berezutskis. And the Nevilles.

The Daily Mirror reports that Barcelona midfielder Yaya could yet move to join his brother at Arsenal, despite the Ivorian having rejected the opportunity to make the switch over the summer.

But a large black and white stumbling block has appeared in the form of Juventus, who also want him and are willing to pay anything between £7.5m (Daily Mirror) and £10m (The Sun).

Should either club get their man, the repercussions will be felt further afield than north London, with The Sun claiming that Barca are set to replace him at the Nou Camp with Liverpool's Xabi Alonso .

"Here we are children, come and get your lollipops ice-cream, chocolate... all freeeeeee today!"

Sound familiar?

Those very words struck fear into generations of children - this Gossip Shopkeeper included - who watched in horror as the chilling Child Catcher went about his nefarious business in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Undoubtedly one of the scariest cinematic creations of all-time, the character played by Sir Robert Helpmann in the 1969 film boasted a healthily-sized proboscis, purportedly to smell out youngsters intent on hiding from him.

And in a link that the legendary Granada TV frontman Elton Welsby would surely himself be proud of, 40 years on Chelsea now appear to be using similar methods to sniff out the best young talent the continent has to offer. Ker-ching!

And it seems to be working, with the Daily Mirror reporting that the Blues are keen to persuade highly-rated teenager Mario Balotelli to ditch Internazionale and swap the Giuseppe Meazza for Stamford Bridge.

Whether Balotelli - who is embroiled in a contract dispute with Inter - will fall for lolly-and-sweet tactics is as yet unsure, but the more tried and tested method involving a sack-load of cash could well persuade the Italian champions to offload the Italy Under-21 starlet in January.

Youngsters may be the order of the day for Luiz Felipe Scolari, but up at Eastlands, Manchester City boss Mark Hughes is targeting the other end of the age spectrum in a bid to reinforce his squad.

Sparky is set to be on the receiving end of a £30 million war chest in January courtesy of the club's new Abu Dhabi-based owners, but he does not want to splash it on any more big name, big money superstars.

Oh no, instead, according to the Daily Star, Hughes will target old heads that represent better value for money than some of their younger versions.

While GS would love to see Hughes swoop for the likes of Dwight Yorke, Dean Windass, Gary Speed and Tugay, much more likely are New Year bids for Blackburn striker Roque Santa Cruz, long-haired midfielder Torsten Frings and Fabio Capello's second favourite left-back Wayne Bridge.

In other transfer tittle tattle, West Ham midfielder Nigel Quashie wants a temporary move to Championship outfit Birmingham to get his career back on track but Everton will not allow striker James Vaughan to go out on loan.

And finally, heading back to Milan for one final time before the shop closes its doors for the day, Jose Mourinho's Inter are eying up Manchester City midfielder Elano. And why not? There's no law against it.

Mike Hytner / Eurosport