Tour de France - Blazin' Saddles: Bring on Das Platzerwasel

Eurosport - Fri, 17 Jul 17:35:00 2009

Now that these tedious, threadbare transitory stages are over, the real race can finally get underway on the precipitous peak of the Platzerwasel.

CYCLING 2009 Tour de France Peloton - 0

It might sound like a Rhineland delicacy - "Ja, I take two platzerwasels and a curry bratwurst, bitte" - but this first-category beast in Alsace is something no rider wants on his menu.

The climb has been used just once in the Tour, and with lower sections of over nine per cent, four other punchy climbs on the agenda, and rain forecast, stage 13 in the Vosges could well be unlucky for some.

After the relative ease of the Pyrenees, however, the whippet-like Schleck brothers are "chomping at the bit", according to Saxo Bank team-mate Stuart O'Grady.

"The race is really only starting and some guys are going to do some pretty crazy things," the Australian livewire predicted before cryptically warning an unnamed spectator: "The s***'s going to hit the fan."

Schleck Minor thinks the Platzerwasel will be harder than the ascent to Verbier two days later in the Alps. Lance Armstrong, too, believes the trek to Colmar - the first "real stage" of the Tour - could be pivotal. "The Platzerwasel will be difficult," the Texan opined, while no doubt thinking of ways of gaining more than two seconds on Alberto Contador.

Such is the potential potency of the climb, "even someone like Menchov" will have to be closely monitored, said Lance, adding with probable reference to the Russian's bike-handling skills: "I'll try give myself space in front from people in front of me so I have a bit of time to break."

BS is just pleased that we might get some arresting racing for a change after the let-down of the Pyrenees and the post-rest day lethargy.

In the defence of Thursday's breakaway riders, at least stage 12 was spared the ubiquitous Mark Cavendish red carpet win. Hats off to Nicki Sorensen who went for broke from distance, powering to a maiden Tour triumph in Vittel. Water win for the veteran Dane, eh?!

Friday's stage finishes in Colmar, the nearest the Tour will get to Germany this year. Interestingly, BS read an article recently about an initiation carried out by German brothels to alleviate the impact of the global credit crunch and target a new type of clientele by offering discounts to patrons who arrive on bicycles.

With Colmar so close to the German border, BS is sure such a venture would be of interest to Tour riders - especially if they feel a sudden Floyd Landis-style rush of testosterone after a hard day in the saddle (and a harder evening out).

What's more, if anyone wanted some tips on how to cross the border from France and into Germany after a stage of the Tour, they'd only have to ask Andreas Kloden for a few pointers.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Tomorrow to London, yeah London. You know: fish, chips, cups of tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary F***ing Poppings LONDON." Robbie McEwen's tweet is enough to provoke an unnamed British rider to run off to the media complaining about the Australian's anti-British, nay racist, behaviour.

PLAT DU JOUR: Locals will get up and have a coffee with a slice of Kugelhupf, a circular cake peppered with raisins and almonds and infused with cherry brandy. For lunch they might munch on Backeoffe, a casserole of pork, lamb and beef. Then for supper, it's one of BS's favourites: Choucroute Garnie, a hearty dish of sausages, gammon and bacon served on a heap of sauerkraut.

Colmar, the stage finish town, is the wine capital of the Alsace region, renowned for its excellent Gewurztraminer and Riesling wines (the ones which come in those tall, thin bottles). Locals drink a lot of this, hence their red noses. Munster cheese is tasty too.

PREDICTION: Given Colmar's proximity to Germany, Jens Voigt will be well up for making an impression. The arduous, undulating parcours should see a breakaway form and will suit Jens as long as he can hold on up the Platzerwasel.

Colmar is also twinned with the Austrian town of Eisenstadt, which is where the composer Joseph Haydn lived for a lot of his life. Maybe that will inspire Cervelo's Hayden Roulston to have a pop too? Jokes aside, Michael Rogers's name is all over this one.

Don't forget to follow Blazin' Saddles throughout the day on www.twitter.com/saddleblaze.

STAGE 13 LIVE at 1pm on Friday on British Eurosport (Sky 410 / Virgin Media 521); Also available on your PC via the Eurosport Player - click on the link under the picture to subscribe

Felix Lowe / Eurosport

Comment 2 - 21 of 21

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  1. anyone else think 'goatscheeseswift' is BS in­ disguise?!!!!!!

    From roberts_elizabeth1, on Fri 17 Jul 2:43PM

  2. On the TV today they stated that this was the first­ time that the Tour has used the Platzerwasel - well­ that's not true. It was used in 1967 on a stage­ from Strasbourg to the Ballon d'Alsace. I know this­ because we did the Etape de Legende in 2007 which reran­ that stage. The Platzerwasel was huge and very tough,­ especially 3/4 of the way through a mountains stage,­ just like today. In fact the more famous Ballon­ d'Alsace was a pleasant recovery after the­ Platzerwasel.

    Herbie

    From Herbie Blackburn, on Fri 17 Jul 1:23PM

  3. Love the Kloden reference... very droll... hardly­ subtle at all... wonder if Sinkewitz and Kessler will­ be in town to help show him the way to the clinic? Keep­ it up BS... and forget the narrow-minded critics! Oh,­ and cheers for bringing back the Plat du Jour...­ choucroute is one of my favorites too!

    From , on Fri 17 Jul 9:43AM

  4. Shame about Levi. What a blow!

    From Liz S, on Fri 17 Jul 9:19AM

  5. btw - BS - do you read the comments!?
    If so, you­ should ask the webpage editors to fix it so we can find­ your columns more easily - they need a group, or list -­ it's cr@p having them randomly sprinked in the news­ section - I want to read back over the comments and­ can't find them all :(

    From Suze, on Fri 17 Jul 9:15AM
  6. Comment hidden due to its low rating. Show

    I recommend you a nice m ilionaire d ating place __C­ lassymingle C om__. Whenever I chat with my friends­ there I feel really relaxed and happy. They are­ easygoing and honest. Hope you can find more nice r ich­ friends there. Good luck to you.

    From gaosiyouwen, on Fri 17 Jul 9:15AM

  7. I don't think this tour's middle section had­ been any more boring than any other year - and the yup,­ you're right, tonyflynn, cav's brightened it­ all up enormously for me! Go CAV!!!

    As for­ pinotnoiruk - go and read another column, mate, this­ one obviously ain't for you. @ BS - keep it up, I­ like your word-play, I even understaood the on the­ ropes one!

    From Suze, on Fri 17 Jul 9:04AM

  8. Levi is out with a broken wrist! :((

    From Bunescu, on Fri 17 Jul 9:02AM

  9. Those posting derogatory comments about this article­ are likely taking themselves too seriously (i.e. up­ their own ar**).
    '
    The beauty of BS is that its­ humour unmasks some of the real truths going on in the­ Tour that ordinary journalism wouldn't/­ couldn't touch.

    From p, on Fri 17 Jul 8:55AM

  10. it will be interesting stage,how will astana do without­ levi?

    From xangtzu, on Fri 17 Jul 8:52AM

  11. I prefer the mountains but saying that it has been VG­ to see Cavendish winning.

    From H C, on Fri 17 Jul 8:33AM

  12. This race has not been boring if you are a Mark­ CAVENDISH fan
    Don't forget this is a race within a­ race

    From tonyflynn54, on Fri 17 Jul 7:09AM

  13. "...threadbear"? Don't you mean­ "threadbare"?

    From Roger D, on Fri 17 Jul 6:50AM

  14. So far this has been Formula 1 boring and whoever was­ responsible for making the choices has been given clear­ instructions to make it easy to avoid implications of­ drug taking. Even me at 63 could ride 90% of these­ stages without getting onto an ambulance trolley. Now­ finally we will see who has the legs the balls and the­ brains to outdo the others. Lance is a cool customer­ and this maybe his day. He is probably in no doubt that­ next year will not be on the cards, and therefore will­ not give a monkeys @#$% about team mates dreams. He­ isnt there for the fun, he is there to win. 8 secs can­ be devoured comfortably and another 30 made to be­ comfortable on the individual time trial if we still­ have one to come?

    From Rob, on Fri 17 Jul 6:37AM

  15. Personally I agree with ddubdrahcir. If you didn't­ pick it up before and still don't get it from the­ constant reference to BS... you should know what you­ are letting yourself in for when you read the article.­ If you don't and make negative comments like­ "its pointless" you have clearly missed the­ point.

    For the factually anal of you out there (and­ there seem to be a few) this is in fact the first time­ the Platzerwasel has been climbed on this route, in­ 1967 it was on a different road/approach, and it has­ been re-surfaced 11 times since 1967, possibly due to­ the fact the asphalt layer sits directly on the native­ subgrade and is vulnerable to subsidence and erosion.­ However since the 60's of course we have more­ efficient bitumen binders which afford greater­ elasticity to the top layer. This alone is enough to­ suggest this climb has never been ridden before in its­ modern day format, without account for the alterations­ in the grade and form of the route in the last 41­ years. Subsidence due to uncharacteristically heavy­ rains in the winter of 1976 also saw some significant­ restructuring of the roadway from its previous route up­ the mountain, As is evidenced today by some of the­ concrete re-enforced sections of the roadway built to­ strengthen some of the sections most persistently­ affected by surface erosion.

    From Texim, on Fri 17 Jul 5:48AM

  16. Don't take it so seriously, it's entertaining.­ And BS is spot-on when it comes to important issues.

    From ddubdrahcir, on Fri 17 Jul 2:32AM

  17. Come on its amusing. You don't need to read it if­ you don't want. At least the guy writing this has a­ job unlike the other c***s that don't.
    C

    From Calum, on Thu 16 Jul 11:39PM
  18. Comment hidden due to its low rating. Show

    What a completely useless article, littered with­ mistakes, and pathetic attempts at humour -­ "leaving Joe Calzaghe", did you mean Sylvain­ Calzati? This mountain has been used before in 1967,­ and was 2nd category climb then.
    As Kenneth says, is­ someone paying you to write this?

    From pinotnoiruk, on Thu 16 Jul 11:08PM

  19. the platzerwasel was in the 1967 tour when Poulidor­ fell on the descent and he had to wait for his team­ car.

    From mylesaxtell, on Thu 16 Jul 8:58PM

  20. I've ridden the Platzerwasel and it is a very hard­ climb, but it isn't likely to be long enough to do­ real damage: it's about as difficult as Alpe­ D'Huez in terms of gradients, but its significanlty­ shorter and so I can't see it having much impact on­ the overall. It might show who is NOT on top fomr, but­ I doubt it will allow anyone to make any time on the­ riders who are really on their game.

    From DAVID, on Thu 16 Jul 8:49PM
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