Rate it!

0 votes

Chelsea has always seen itself as a club with a certain breeding, and now John Terry has instilled a publicly-educated atmosphere inside Stamford Bridge.

Eastbury Comprehensive in Barking might seem like a strange place for a boy to pick up toffs' bullying rituals, but its most famous former pupil can turn any dressing room he enters into a modern-day version of Just William.

The Chelsea form monitor is well-known for the initiation rites he inflicts on newbies for club and country, forcing them to sing karaoke in front of their new classmates.

Thank goodness that ruffian Bellamy's parents can't afford the fees to Chelsea, otherwise Terry's good-natured japery could be cut short in a flurry of five-iron bludgeons.

Now it has emerged that the blue-bloods of Stamford Bridge have a new trick with which to haze freshmen.

The front page of the Guardian shows new boy Cole (A.) - a recent arrival from Highbury College in North London - suffering at the hands of his new chums.

Terry is orchestrating a public ear-flicking exercise as Cole is punished, presumably for turning up to PE with the wrong shorts on.

The hapless defender clenches his fists and grimaces as Terry and the exchange student Mikel (J.O.) take aim at his jewel-encrusted lobes.

Perhaps the England captain has picked up a few tips from his posh mate Lampard (F.), who - as the son of a professional footballer - attended the swanky fee-paying Brentwood School in Essex.

Lampard looks like he has raided a few tuck boxes in his time, and it is anyone's guess what the boys' next move is.

Terry has already hit the headlines for his alleged tendency to sneak out and visit the girls' dorms after lights-out, but what now? Pillow fights on Chelsea's next field trip? A sly bottle of cider behind the squash courts?

As long as housemaster Prof. Mourinho doesn't find out, the possibilities are endless.

- - -

Across town at Tottenham Institute of the Performing Arts, the beleaguered Mr Jol's position is coming under more scrutiny as the organisation's delusions of grandeur start to take their toll.

Jol is back in the headlines - possibly because his ultra-short surname is a sub-editor's dream - following Saturday's capitulation against Arsenal.

The consensus is that Spurs are still in talks with Juande Ramos, who has said he is ready to move at any time.

Ramos must be as confused about Tottenham's importance as anyone if he is willing to give up Champions League with Sevilla in exchange for the ludicrous expectations of the Premier League's most fickle fan base.

Jol has just six matches to save his job, although Early Doors has never really understood what that means.

Neither, it seems, does the Daily Mail, which suggests that even if Spurs win all of their next six Jol could still face the chop.

- - -

Our Brave Girls head into battle this lunchtime at the Women's World Cup, needing to beat Argentina by two clear goals to book a place in the quarter-finals.

A convincing win against the Argies would appear a big ask for any England team, but we are hardly talking about players in the same class as Kempes, Maradona or Batistuta.

The Argentina women's team is certainly more Nelson Vivas than Leo Messi, having been humbled 11-0 by Germany in their opening game.

The tournament favourites profited by some spectacular blunders from Argentina keeper Vanina Correa, and a couple more today would do nicely.

Follow it live from 1pm UK time on this website. This one. Right here.

- - -

Quote of the weekend: "I'm a winner. I've come from a winning culture." The Premier League table would beg to differ with you, Sammy Lee.

Foreign view: 'How I beat Ribery' - Bild reports on a humiliating night for Bayern Munich star Franck Ribery, who lost to a girl in a televised game of kicking footballs through small round holes.

Must read: Behind Enemy Lines - A comprehensive look at how the British clubs' Champions League opponents got on at the weekend. Trust us, it's better than it sounds.

Alex Chick / Eurosport