Eurosport - Mon, 17 Dec 12:04:00 2007
If Sunday really was, as a major satellite broadcaster would have us believe, a Grand Slam, it was obviously the French Open.
Attritional, plodding and full of Spanish players, the afternoon was the footballing equivalent of back-to-back five-setters on the clay of Roland-Garros.
A more seasonal metaphor might be the pantomime, given the slapstick and melodrama that so frequently accompanies Premier League football.
There was also a fair amount of audience participation. Rio Ferdinand exchanged choice words with the Kop after a bogus Liverpool penalty claim, while Ashley Cole flicked the 'V's at Arsenal fans who taunted him mercilessly.
Cole's gesture is all over the papers and could cost him some of his precious cash, while Rio will get off scot-free.
It indicates Ferdinand's new-found intelligent approach to the game - if you're going to have a pop at opposition fans, make your abuse verbal not physical.
Above all, Sunday was a reminder that, for all the £30 million contracts being thrown at England managers, football's about players, innit?
Arsenal were awful against Middlesbrough without Cesc Fabregas and Alex Hleb. They came back on Sunday and, lo and behold, the Gunners won.
At the same time, take Didier Drogba and then John Terry away from Chelsea and what do you think is going to happen?
It is often said that Liverpool's squad is as good as any in the Premier League, but mainly by idiots.
Last season it was usually a case of Steven Gerrard against 11. Following another mammoth summer spending spree, Stevie G now has his Spanish mate Fernando for company.
But how many others would get anywhere near the Manchester United first team? Hyypia? Arbeloa? Kewell? Benayoun? Kuyt? Early Doors thinks not.
Pepe Reina might just get a look in, but only because Edwin van der Sar played like an ice skater with an inner ear infection.
The Dutchman spent the game impersonating Ed Norton's character in Fight Club, crashing into his own players, falling over theatrically and generally doing himself physical harm (yes it's a plot spoiler, but come on, you've had a decade to watch it...).
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Like a work of art or one of those plaques in a leisure centre Fabio Capello is set to be unveiled as England manager this lunchtime.
The press conference will dominate tomorrow's papers, and Early Doors caught a few snippets of Don Fabio rehearsing his inaugural address:
"It is wonderful honour to coach England ... tremendous respect ... history and tradition ... Bobby Moore ... been a while since you were any good ... passion ... best fans in world ... lager and Great Escape ... world class stadia ... Fratton Park ... fantastic players ... overpaid dilettantes ... tactical naivety ... Alan Shearer ... must be joking ... tabloid intrusion ... FA mismanagement ... what have I done?"
At least Capello has a ready-made excuse when his side get turned over by Switzerland in February.
England's defeat to Croatia was blamed by some on the NFL game played at Wembley several weeks earlier (hosted, appropriately enough, by the equally hapless Miami Dolphins).
Sunday saw Michael Schumacher and his petrol-sniffing buddies tearing round the home of football in the ludicrous Race of Champions.
Not only did Germany beat England, obviously, but they did so at the expense of the already rubbish Wembley surface - so don't blame Capello when Nicky Shorey slips on a skidmark.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "All I can say is that I wish China luck during the Olympics, but if we qualify, I hope we don't meet them in the finals, because being the Olympic host, they're certain to have a lot of help." On the back of a heated 3-3 friendly, USA coach Peter Nowak reckons the Chinese are not content with running the American economy into the ground, they also intend to conquer soccer but any means necessary.
FOREIGN VIEW: Milan might have won the Club World Cup on Sunday, but it may not be enough to save the job of Carlo Ancelotti, whose job will reportedly be offered to Jose Mourinho.
COMING UP: That Capello press conference in full at 1pm, plus a comprehensive review of the weekend's action including our fabled Team of the Week feature.
Alex Chick / Eurosport