For legal reasons, there will be no mention of the Manchester United Christmas party. Instead we will concentrate on Arsene's Stiffs.

No this is not a gateway to a Frankie Howard sketch but instead a chance to indulge ourselves in Arsenal's reserve team.

There was a time before 'Colin in IT', had invented the World Wide Web that our knowledge of fringe players (or the stiffs as they were commonly known) was limited to page 23 of the matchday programme where you found out that the likes of Ian Allinson, Paul Cannoville and Neale Fenn had scored in a 2-1 Football Combination victory over Orient.

This was a time when the only time the gaffer said 'let's rotate the group' was when he was telling Colin Pates to turn The Style Council off the dressing room ghetto blaster in preference for The Teardrop Explodes.

Now not only do we have the Interweb but we have Arsene Wenger's fondness of sticking fringe players in League Cup games to help us along with our knowledge of squad players.

And on last night's evidence Arsenal's current crop are pretty good - employing old fashioned virtues like passing to your mate, and reaping the benefits of a pure lifestyle where "waitresses handing out pink champagne to whoever wanted it and players knocking back beer, vodka and whisky" is anathema.

Six years ago, a Gunners team inspired by the ineptitude of Junichi Inamoto and also featuring the likes of Efstathios Tavlaridis and Igor Stepanovs got turned over 4-0 by a full strength Blackburn side on a cold pre-Xmas League Cup night at Ewood Park.

Certainly the likes of Denilson, Abou Diaby and Armand Traore look a cut above. The young French full-back was steaming down the left flank like a young Ryan Giggs who is not a bad role model especially as he can still "steal the show by doing an Elvis Presley impression."

Now granted this one-match analysis is akin to the depth of research that usually accompanies a Daily Mail headline such as 'Lithuanian immigrants likely to cause widespread death by 2015 due to lack of Eton education' but nonetheless we are in the Christmas party season (obviously nowhere near Manchester's Great John Street Hotel) so are allowed to be a little whimsical.

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If you find yourself at a Christmas party tonight with "wall-to-wall babes, most aged between 18 and 30 and some throwing themselves at the players" you obviously need to have puritanical thoughts.

So rather than trying to persuade Lorraine from accounts to go back to yours to look at your etchings, consider life in Spain where the big clubs have B teams in the second and third divisions.

Imagine the excitement in Burnley or Scunthorpe when Arsenal B come into town and their legions of travelling fans.

Who exactly would support the B team?

Maybe when you reapply for your season ticket there could be a 10% chance that you have to follow the B team, perhaps the nouveau riche fans could be set a quiz with anyone thinking that John Bumstead is a random West London strain of haemorrhoids condemned to a season with the stiffs.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I don't think so," Jamie Carragher (aka The Scouse Disraeli) on whether he will be coming out of international retirement.

FOREIGN VIEW: Cambodia's cash-strapped national team have parted company with Australian coach Scott O'Donell because it could not find the money to pay him. The team of part-timers is one of the world's least successful national sides and is currently 183rd out of the 201 countries in the FIFA rankings (we still think they are just above Wales).

COMING UP: Avram Grant and Rafa Benitez are the sort of guys who look like they would enjoy a Snowball or two at the Christmas party. However tonight Chelsea and Liverpool go head-to-head in the Carling Cup and you can follow it all from 7.45pm. Why not click on the link under the photo and find out who Rafa might rest.

Lee Walker / Eurosport