Transfers - Gossip Shop: Tevez to Inter, Real

Eurosport - Fri, 20 Feb 15:11:00 2009

Gossip Shop awoke this morning, threw back the recycled hemp sack it uses for bedclothes and put on its slippers, made of recycled bin liners.

2008-2009 Manchester United Carlos Tevez - 1

It padded downstairs and made a cup of organic fair trade tea, snubbing the kettle and boiling the water using residual heat from its compost heap.

GS then added its own contribution to the compost, and cleaned up with recycled toilet tissue.

It hopped on its moped - fashioned from recycled washing-up liquid bottles and specially adapted to run on a mixture of linseed oil and smug satisfaction - and rode to work.

On the way, GS thought of all the transfer rumours that are needlessly produced and then thrown away, abandoned, forgotten. So why not recycle them?

So please don't stop GS if you've heard these rumours before because you almost certainly have done.

First, we traipse up to the attic and retrieve a dusty old shoebox marked 'Carlos Tevez', for we have forgotten what was inside.

Oh, that's right. Internazionale and Real Madrid are set to bid for him as Manchester United are quite legitimately reluctant to pay £32 million for a player whose Premier League strike rate this season (three goals in 19 games) is worse than Emile Heskey's (four in 23).

Said Kia Joorabchian: "Carlos is in the market now that United have not made any move for him. We are now studying other options and interested parties."

Tevez's owners MSI have overplayed their hand and should have sold him when his stock was high - and the same could be said for Zamalek, who not so long ago were holding Wigan to ransom over Amr Zaki.

Zaki has since gone four months without scoring anything but a penalty, and now even Zamalek's original asking price of £6m looks wildly inflated. So Zaki could be returning to Egypt come the end of the season.

Everton boss David Moyes is keeping tabs on Vagner Love , and will have to continue doing so if he signs the CSKA Moscow striker, given Love's legendary appetite for, well, love.

Manchester City are obviously interested as well, although it would be quicker to list the players they haven't been linked with:

Gary Neville

Francis Jeffers

Yordan Letchkov

That is all.

David Beckham's move to Milan no longer holds any interest or novelty value whatsoever given the crushing dullness of the hourly updates coming out of Italy and Los Angeles. Do it, don't do it; quite frankly GS couldn't care less.

Here's a fresh gossip sapling that may one day grow into a mighty oak of rumour: Arsenal and Chelsea are both interested in Bordeaux's teenage striker Henri Saivet.

He has played all of once this season, so frankly he is as much of a shot in the dark as that six-year-old on YouTube.

Obviously it isn't news that Sheffield United want to sign Michael Tonge, since they have already done so once. They hope to bring him back to Bramall Lane from Stoke, where - at the risk of insulting helium and neon - he has been utterly inert.

And in a move that will shock and dismay carbon footprint watchers everywhere, Andrei Arshavin's hairdresser will be flown from St Petersburg to London to cut the Arsenal man's hair because he does not trust English barbers.

He knows we have pudding bowls over here too, right?

Alex Chick / Eurosport

Comment 8 - 27 of 27

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  1. 26. Tevez is the same age as Van persie, and he is­ younger than villa + i wud rather have tevez in my team­ than Adriano. He might not score goals but he helps­ more than most other attackers.

    From M.Salih, on Fri 20 Feb 10:13PM

  2. Inter with talented player such as Zelatan and Adriano­ doesn't need players such as Tevez. I think inter­ should buy younger and more talented players such as­ Villa,Silva,VanPersie,...

    From mehdi A, on Fri 20 Feb 9:35PM

  3. Tevez should opt for Inter if he seek for week in week­ out play..!

    From carlamms, on Fri 20 Feb 4:45PM

  4. Rigby There was a deal agreed for around £20 million­ for Tevez after the loan deal Kia Joorabchian made with­ Man U.....Last season he had a good one so Kia­ Joorabchian ups the price look at the problems his­ private ownership of players caused West Ham if FA­ applied their rules correctly West Ham would be in­ championship now....The FA do exactly what their­ intials stand for F... All.....They pass ridiculous­ rules and laws then renege on them when it suits­ them...Kia Joorabchian owns the rights to Tevez and a­ number of other players....The FA UEFA etc should pass­ the laws they say they have in place and ban 2nd and­ 3rd party ownerships of contracts.Its now a case of­ sorry you might like Arsenal Chelsea Man U etc but they­ wont pay my price so I am sending you to wherever he­ chooses not where the player wants to be....Tevez­ already stated he wanted to stay at Man U....Kia­ Joorabchian wants his price to him that comes 1st not­ the players wishes....Kia Joorabchian and people like­ him want removing from the game

    From Bill, on Fri 20 Feb 3:12PM

  5. ".....run on a mixture of linseed oil and smug­ satisfaction - and rode to work."

    nice, using old­ simpsons gags.

    From Ian, on Fri 20 Feb 3:11PM

  6. For a striker who wants to settle but still get­ unsettled throughout all season, not scoring many goals­ means nothing, compared to the comfortable situation of­ Rooney and Berba whose future has been guaranteed and­ well settled. Sometimes the statistics only tell you­ something, but not everything, not the whole picture.

    From windwave, on Fri 20 Feb 3:06PM

  7. I think this chick Alex has been so what biased to­ Tevez but always overrate Rooney.

    From windwave, on Fri 20 Feb 3:04PM

  8. ALL ENGLISH FOOTBALL
    PREMIER LEAGUE – FA CUP – CARLING­ CUP
    CHAMPIONS LEAGUE – UEFA CUP

    ALL MATCHES ON­ INTERNET: PREMIER LEAGUE, FA CUP, CHAMPIONSHIP,­ CARLING CUP, LIGA, SERIE A, BUNDESLIGA, CHAMPIONS­ LEAGUE - UEFA CUP AND MUCH MORE

    ALL THE HIGH LIGHTS­ OF PREMIER LEAGUE MATCHES

    From , on Fri 20 Feb 2:54PM

  9. paul_m_gibbs, check the periodic table.

    From fkosei, on Fri 20 Feb 2:42PM

  10. Obviously United can't afford Tevez but at least­ their is a shining light at the end of all this because­ it will cut down their wage bill and allow them to pay­ back a little more on the 900m debt they have.

    From JOHN, on Fri 20 Feb 2:01PM

  11. i wish middlesbrough would sign yordan letchkov. i­ remember that bulgarian bold headed c@#t. he's the­ sort of guy gareth southgate would buy.

    From a.titterington, on Fri 20 Feb 2:00PM

  12. Hey, I'm an open minded girl from US, I'm­ interested in exotic things, photography, dating and­ sports...I have my photos on --- Tall hub Co m ---, I­ love tall guys!
    Do you love traveling and have some­ experience? Just find me out.

    From keruyifu01, on Fri 20 Feb 1:43PM

  13. Love all the cheap shots at Man City - its like they­ cant do a column without it anymore!

    From Matt, on Fri 20 Feb 1:34PM

  14. Saviet is another Championship manager legend - hence­ the arsenal and chelsea scouts have picked him up via­ their sons!
    Also - im no chemist, but helium is very­ reactive or unstable (which is not inert??)

    From Paul, on Fri 20 Feb 1:31PM

  15. I think that it is a case of watch this space.

    Tevez­ & Ronaldo to Real - Huntelaar in.

    From SIMON, on Fri 20 Feb 1:30PM

  16. where are ronaldo and tevez going

    From aghabeigim, on Fri 20 Feb 1:17PM

  17. nah, It takes skills to look that bad!

    From Ross, on Fri 20 Feb 1:16PM

  18. I had a dream last night that Tevez, Ronaldo and­ Beckham all went to play for West Ham.

    From simonblanchard, on Fri 20 Feb 1:15PM

  19. has anyone else sen arshavins hair? I assumed he cut it­ himself

    From yip, on Fri 20 Feb 1:01PM

  20. MU will be weakend with the departure of Tevez and­ Ronaldo!!!

    all the best to mu.

    From Abel Liew Wen Wei, on Fri 20 Feb 12:56PM
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