Premier League - Transfer Talk: Free lunch

Eurosport - Mon, 21 Jul 09:38:00 2008

Whoever said there was no such thing as a free lunch clearly never bought a Sunday newspaper.

2008 Arsenal Emmanuel Adebayor - 0

For the hope of a decent free gift is the only thing that gets Transfer Talk into work on a day that would be better spent traipsing hopelessly around a DIY centre.

Today's papers entitle TT to not one but two free pizzas (People and Sunday Times), £750 worth of summer days out (News of the World), a Batman goodie bag (Mirror), a West Side Story CD and Poster (Telegraph), a school holidays survival guide (Independent), a bottle of Evian (Express) and albums by Stereo MCs (Star) and McFly (Mail). Quite a haul.

Only the Observer lets the side down, trumpeting its Food Monthly which, as the name suggests, is not so much a bonus as a regular part of the paper. It's like boasting about having a free crossword.

In a similar spirit of generosity and long, rambling introductions, Transfer Talk offers you a FREE! set of unfounded rumours thieved from the pages of today's press.

The fact that there are no new developments in the Kaka-to- Chelsea and Gareth Barry-to-Arsenal storylines does not prevent them from getting a mention in most of the papers, and here.

If Kaka goes it will be for a world record-busting fee of somewhere between £70-80m, but Milan are loathe to surrender one of the few players they have who is younger than Greg Norman.

Speaking of sporting legends, Michael Johnson once ran 200m in a preposterously fast time of 19.32 seconds. Post-athletics, he has settled for a career as a promising midfielder.

The 20-year-old is stalling over a new contract with Manchester City, with Everton, Liverpool and Aston Villa all preparing to pounce.

It is a sign of the times that the mere statement "we expect him to turn up" is construed as an ultimatum.

The 'we', in this case is Arsenal, the 'him' is Emmanuel Adebayor , and the thing he will be turning up to is to pre-season training. A no-show will probably result in a move to Barcelona.

"I am a man and I don't lie." That's the bold claim from Robinho's agent Wagner Ribeiro, who would probably do well to avoid Simon Jordan ("Agents are nasty scum. They're evil and divisive and pointless.").

The very masculine Ribeiro says Chelsea have made a preposterous £32m bid for nine-stone weakling Robinho but - get this - Real don't want to sell. Madness.

Younes Kaboul said he wouldn't move to Sunderland even if there were an earthquake, which implies that a major seismic tremor would somehow boost the town's appeal.

And yet the Frenchman was reportedly on Wearside yesterday with Steed Malbranque, Pascal Chimbonda and Teemu Tainio .

Sunderland have run their infra-red scanner over the quartet's respective bar codes and, even with nectar points, must shell out £23m before loading them into the back of their Volvo V50.

The remaining Spurs players have reportedly nicknamed Dimitar Berbatov 'Misery Guts', with the Bulgarian's perma-frown deemed so offensive by Juande Ramos he has fined him a week's wages.

And finally, Salsa-loving Blackburn boss Paul Ince is set to follow up the signing of Chilean Carlos Villanueva with moves for Mexican Ricardo Osorio and Ecuadorean Segundo Castillo . Ay caramba!

Alex Chick / Eurosport

Comment 22 - 41 of 41

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  1. I don't understand why Sunderland aren't signing a striker. It's all very well signing a few decent Spurs players, but if they don't fit in - and with Kaboul and Chimbonda, anything could happen - Keane will look very, very stupid.

    They'd be best joining the hunt for Andy Johnson in my eyes, he'll get goals given a regular starting place, much like we've seen with Jermain Defoe.

    From isaac.leigh, on Mon 21 Jul 3:44PM

  2. chelsea best..korang la bongok

    From mohd a, on Mon 21 Jul 7:25AM

  3. jhawkes87, when you make remarks like yours, back it up with facts. Ronaldo was the highest goal scorer, fact, Lampard was chelsea highest goal scorer in the EPL, fact, Lampard did not score as many goals as Ronnie or Tevez did in the EPL last season, FACT. So even with Ronnie out of the equation. Chelsea still hasn't got what it takes. Leaders don't slip when it matters. Almost never killed any bird.

    The great Manutd started the 2006 season pumping in goals, and won with a great margin. Manutd started the 2007 campaign with a poor goal output and still had a lovely goal margin. The fact is we know what we do. Even if we tie on points (bcos that's the best you can get) our previous homework sets us ahead of you.

    Money can't buy you greatness, passion or commitment like everything and everyone associated with the likes of Manchester United or Arsenal. A man who has spent 5 years learning and ultimately proving himself can not be there for the money (remember after the exit of Beckham, a kid who was laughed for having dancing feet and a funny hairstyle, remember that kid you laughed at then? That was Ronaldo and he has come back to hunt you. Keep hating!) One last thing, in case you haven't noticed, chelski is becoming the final bus stop before retirement. Ask Scolari, he'll tell you more. What this mean's is if you sack him, you pay him his retirement benefits and he goes back to brazil just as planned!!!

    From Jackson N, on Mon 21 Jul 7:21AM

  4. paul ince = smart or dumb?

    From Fahmi Y, on Mon 21 Jul 3:22AM

  5. money in football is gon totally insane, i agree with E, we need more competition in the premiership, it's always the top 4 and nobody else. come Fa platini and stepp blater, grow some balls, introduce salari cap threw out europe and let's have fun.

    From lazygooner, on Mon 21 Jul 3:09AM

  6. r u mad? b lucky if u stay up

    From manc84, on Mon 21 Jul 2:38AM

  7. does anyone who dose'nt support sunderland think we are going to do any good this season ???

    From dave p, on Mon 21 Jul 2:12AM

  8. isnt it funny that all you tossers keep going on about how much money chelsea spend, you all forget about the ridiculous prices payed for the likes of ferdinand etc.

    From afcwasps, on Sun 20 Jul 11:36PM

  9. im gonna agree wif rebecca333

    From miffa1, on Sun 20 Jul 11:17PM

  10. As a youngin who started following the game after World Cup 2002, I think Chelsea is a great team to follow. They used to be one of the fringe teams like Everton and Aston Villa and now enjoy alot of success.

    Not to mention, there's only one way to make history... the game would be stagnant without fresh clubs and new challengers.

    From E, on Sun 20 Jul 8:46PM

  11. chelsea take away the true love of football, all the players at chelsea play for the big wages and dont play for club. they dont care of the history of chelsea because chelsea does not have any history. apart from dimitri kharine wat a keeper lol.

    From jonisthebaptist, on Sun 20 Jul 8:21PM

  12. Historical Ranking: ENGLAND

    [Last updated: end of 2006-07 season]
    Rank Club Points
    1 Liverpool 557
    2 Manchester United 479
    3 Arsenal 418
    4 Aston Villa 357
    5 Everton 345

    Nuff Said

    From dtalps, on Sun 20 Jul 7:05PM

  13. tigger69 must'nt have a clue about fball.Utd were lucky!!!Wot fball were u watchin last season,u must've been bored
    most sundays and went and watched ur local pub teams playin in a local league with the same names as chelski
    and the great manu coz ur talkin s**t!!!Arsenal rnt my favourite team but they play good fball and deserved 2nd spot
    coz the quality of CHELSKIS fball was diabolical.All the millions the KGB agent has spent and still no euro cup!!!
    I think tigger69 shud start watchin another sport,mayb cricket coz it's as borin as watchin CHELSKI.Not so bad coz u'll b watchin a game at trent bridge instead of stamford bridge and jus as borin

    From mark.campbell48, on Sun 20 Jul 7:01PM

  14. FOOTYLOVER i have to say just shut the hell up, you can forget your past coz the future is gonna be blue for a long time, and to be honest you won last season by a very very thin margine. the league on the last day only just beating chelsea who had a season that started in turmoil but manged to still take you supposed "greats" to the last day, and you won the champions league (fair do's you won it congratulations) but you won it coz john terry slipped, so your so called great season was only marginly a great season. and one more point, you take away all those ronaldo goals and you would have been no where last season, your a one man team, and that man has turned out to be a man who is only there for the money, hahaha bring on the future and then leys see who smiling. chelsea all the way =D

    From jhawkes87, on Sun 20 Jul 6:55PM

  15. @comment # 28
    Man utd got lucky??? lol thats the funniest thing i have ever heard. Whatever be it...MU are the european and the EPL champions.
    Atleast we didnt buy the CL draw to get to the finals..ever wondered how chelsea got the easiest team until they reached the semis..hmmm

    xD

    From wolv3rin3_fv, on Sun 20 Jul 6:53PM

  16. liam o'brien, andy o'brien, any any any o'brien.....who put the ball in the mackems net?....o'brien o'brien!!!!!

    From papillon soo soo, on Sun 20 Jul 6:52PM

  17. why do chelsea need to bye anybody look were we been in lge over last couple of yrs man u got lucky to win it last yr nomall sevice this yr chelsea 1 man u 2 liverpool 3

    From tigger69, on Sun 20 Jul 5:53PM

  18. poo

    From rebecca333, on Sun 20 Jul 5:36PM

  19. agents should be banned players should negotiate their own contracts, or are they all thick and stupid like Beckham. agents are the scum of the earth, and the quicker they are banned the better, as there is not an honest truthfull agent in existance and they all take bungs

    From byron.rodriguez, on Sun 20 Jul 5:20PM

  20. I HAVE TO LAUGH AT HERBZONE CHELSEA TO WIN THE LEAGUE YOUR HAVING A LARF THEY HAVE NO CHANCE THE ONLY WAY YOUR RUSSIN TEAM CHELSKI WILL GET THERE HANDS ON THE EPL TROPHY IS BY BREAKING INTO THE OLD TRAFFORD TROPHY CABINET AND STEAL IT THEN AGAIN YOU WILL BE MESMORISED BY THE RED DEVIL'S TROPHY CABINET ITS MASSIVE NOT LIKE YOUR TROPHY CABINET AT STAMFORD BRIDGE DID THEY GET THERE CABINET FROM IKEA AND YOUR CLUB BUY'S RUBBISH ANYWAY LOL THE MIGHTY RED DEVILS FOR THE EPL & CL AGAIN

    From irnbru_rebel03, on Sun 20 Jul 5:02PM
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