Premier League - Liverpool cruise to win over Stoke

Eurosport - Thu, 20 Aug 09:52:00 2009

Liverpool earned the first points of their Premier League campaign with a comprehensive 4-0 victory over Stoke at Anfield.

Fernando Torres, Liverpool v Stoke, FOOTBALL - 0

The home side cruised to a victory of consummate ease with four clinical finishes from Fernando Torres and Glen Johnson in the first half, and Dirk Kuyt and David N'gog in the second as Stoke were thoroughly outclassed.

The match was just four minutes old when Steven Gerrard's foraging run down the right took him into the Stoke penalty area and his pass bobbled into the path of Torres who swept the ball high into Thomas Sorensen's net.

The pressure exerted by the hosts was incessant and it was one wave too many for Stoke to repel as Johnson opened his Liverpool account with an acrobatic volley after Kuyt had his header parried away sharply by Sorensen.

The second half was more of the same from Liverpool and a third was added after a sublime touch from Gerrard controlled the ball and took him the other side of a bemused Danny Higginbotham. The Reds skipper then laid the ball on a plate for Kuyt who stole in at the near post to tap home in the 78th minute.

Liverpool played with conviction throughout and did not err from their attacking approach, with subsititute Ngog adding a fourth in stoppage time after more fine work from Johnson down the right.

Liverpool are now unbeaten in all 47 top-flight matches they have played against Stoke at Anfield, which represents the longest unbeaten home run against another side in the history of top-flight English football.

Both matches between these sides ended goalless last season but, from the moment Gerrard's piercing run was converted by Torres, Liverpool kept their opponents firmly under the cosh.

Stoke forwards James Beattie and Richard Cresswell worked industriously throughout, but their laborious efforts reflected the lack of service they were provided as Liverpool swamped the midfield.

One of Tony Pulis's summer signings Dean Whitehead attempted to put Liverpool out of their rhythm with a robust challenge on Javier Mascherano. But after scything down the Argentine, all he got on his 100th Premier League appearance was a booking and a stern word from referee Peter Walton.

Stoke began the second half brightly after doubtless harsh words from Pulis and Rory Delap forced a stunning reflex save from Pepe Reina in the Liverpool goal two minutes in.

The Potters went close again minutes later as Johnson was forced to clear from under the nose of Reina with Beattie in close attendance after a devilish delivery was whipped in from Glenn Whelan out on the right.

In addition to the dashing runs of Johnson, Emiliano Insua also provided width and invention down the left, and the full-back scuffed a shot after carving out an opening which would have capped his display.

Johnson certainly did crown his performance, finishing with aplomb when presented with his opportunity in front of goal and could have had a brace had he kept his composure when confronted with a clear-cut chance in the 70th minute.

Gerrard brought a fine stop out of Sorensen with a dipping shot from the edge of the Stoke penalty area, but Kuyt could not quite reach the rebound as the ball bounced awkwardly.

The Dutchman would get his name on the scoresheet in the 78th minute after a close-range finish following Gerrard's exquisite turn out on the right byline, as Liverpool's momentum showed no sign of abating.

N'gog replaced Torres, who cut his head after an innocuous challenge with Ryan Shawcross in the first half and when the Frenchman added a fourth in stoppage time the rout was complete.

After losing on the opening day of the Premier League season, Reds boss Rafael Benitez sat proudly as his side delivered emphatically. The home fans' joy then turned to delirium as Manchester United's 1-0 defeat to Burnley was announced over the tannoy.

Dan Quarrell / Eurosport

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  1. CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR.
    Stevie O Jay and­ Marlon King are settling into their new home. There’s a­ bit of friction.

    Stevie O Jay : Pheuuuufff
    Marlon King­ : Whaattt?
    Stevie O Jay : Ah nothin’
    Marlon King :­ What? You’re the one going Pheuuuufff.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Your feet Marlon, your feet, your f*cking feet?
    Marlon­ King : What’s wrong with my feet?
    Stevie O Jay : Can’t­ you smell or something?
    Marlon King : Huh?
    Stevie O Jay­ : Ere lad, your feet stink the place out. Even the­ f*cking screws don’t come in here anymore. I don’t know­ how many times I’ve told you, wash your f*cking­ feet!!
    Marlon King : Oh. Alright then.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Huh, thanks a lot.

    Marlon starts to sort through his­ washbag, gets his favourite soap out, his nice new­ facecloth and begins to give his feet a wipe.

    Marlon­ King : Have you heard the news?
    Stevie O Jay : What­ news?
    Marlon King : About Benny?
    Stevie O Jay : Benny?­ Benny who?
    Marlon King : Benny The Ball Benitez.
    Stevie­ O Jay : What about him?
    Marlon King : They say he’s not­ a real manager.
    Stevie O Jay : Not a real manager ..­ whatdya mean?
    Marlon King : He’s not Benitez.
    Stevie O­ Jay : ( Perplexed ) What!?
    Marlon King : His real­ name’s Benitio. He’s mob.
    Stevie O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon­ King : He’s not Spanish .. he’s Italian.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Whatdya mean he’s not Spanish?
    Marlon King : He’s­ mafioso.

    Marlon cleaning between his toes flicks a­ ball at Stevie.

    Stevie O Jay : F*ck off.
    Marlon King :­ ( He flicks another ball of cheese ) Something to do­ with Capello’s mob. Apparently the football club is a­ front for people trafficing.
    Stevie O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon­ King : Yes, you heard me right, I said people­ trafficing.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Totally confused )­ What?
    Marlon King : The Italian mob were trying to find­ a front for their operation. They tried Loserpool. Do­ you remember when you won the Champions League?
    Stevie­ O Jay : Yeah, great night.
    Marlon King : Well it was­ alright til half time.

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 7:13PM

  2. CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR.
    Stevie O Jay and­ Marlon King are settling into their new home. There’s a­ bit of friction.

    Stevie O Jay : Pheuuuufff
    Marlon King­ : Whaattt?
    Stevie O Jay : Ah nothin’
    Marlon King :­ What? You’re the one going Pheuuuufff.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Your feet Marlon, your feet, your f*cking feet?
    Marlon­ King : What’s wrong with my feet?
    Stevie O Jay : Can’t­ you smell or something?
    Marlon King : Huh?
    Stevie O Jay­ : Ere lad, your feet stink the place out. Even the­ f*cking screws don’t come in here anymore. I don’t know­ how many times I’ve told you, wash your f*cking­ feet!!
    Marlon King : Oh. Alright then.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Huh, thanks a lot.
    Marlon starts to sort through his­ washbag, gets his favourite soap out, his nice new­ facecloth and begins to give his feet a wipe.
    Marlon­ King : Have you heard the news?
    Stevie O Jay : What­ news?
    Marlon King : About Benny?
    Stevie O Jay : Benny?­ Benny who?
    Marlon King : Benny The Ball Benitez.
    Stevie­ O Jay : What about him?
    Marlon King : They say he’s not­ a real manager.
    Stevie O Jay : Not a real manager ..­ whatdya mean?
    Marlon King : He’s not Benitez.
    Stevie O­ Jay : ( Perplexed ) What!?
    Marlon King : His real­ name’s Benitio. He’s mob.
    Stevie O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon­ King : He’s not Spanish .. he’s Italian.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Whatdya mean he’s not Spanish?
    Marlon King : He’s­ mafioso.
    Stevie O Jay :
    Marlon King : ( Marlon­ cleaning between his toes flicks a ball at Stevie­ )
    Stevie O Jay : F*ck off.
    Marlon King : ( He flicks­ another ball of cheese ) Something to do with Capello’s­ mob. Apparently the football club is a front for people­ trafficing.
    Stevie O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : Yes, you­ heard me right, I said people trafficing.
    Stevie O Jay­ : ( Totally confused ) What?
    Marlon King : The Italian­ mob were trying to find a front for their operation.­ They tried Loserpool. Do you remember when you won the­ Champions League?
    Stevie O Jay : Yeah, great­ night.
    Marlon King : Well it was alright

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 7:09PM

  3. CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR.
    Stevie O Jay and­ Marlon King are settling into their new home. There’s a­ bit of friction.

    Stevie O Jay : Pheuuuufff
    Marlon King­ : Whaattt?
    Stevie O Jay : Ah nothin’
    Marlon King :­ What? You’re the one going Pheuuuufff.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Your feet Marlon, your feet, your f*cking feet?
    Marlon­ King : What’s wrong with my feet?
    Stevie O Jay : Can’t­ you smell or something?
    Marlon King : Huh?
    Stevie O Jay­ : Ere lad, your feet stink the place out. Even the­ f*cking screws don’t come in here anymore. I don’t know­ how many times I’ve told you, wash your f*cking­ feet!!
    Marlon King : Oh. Alright then.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Huh, thanks a lot.
    Marlon starts to sort through his­ washbag, gets his favourite soap out, his nice new­ facecloth and begins to give his feet a wipe.
    Marlon­ King : Have you heard the news?
    Stevie O Jay : What­ news?
    Marlon King : About Benny?
    Stevie O Jay : Benny?­ Benny who?
    Marlon King : Benny The Ball Benitez.
    Stevie­ O Jay : What about him?
    Marlon King : They say he’s not­ a real manager.
    Stevie O Jay : Not a real manager ..­ whatdya mean?
    Marlon King : He’s not Benitez.
    Stevie O­ Jay : ( Perplexed ) What!?
    Marlon King : It’s a front.­ His real name’s Benitio. He’s a Don.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Eh?
    Marlon King : He’s not Spanish .. he’s­ Italian.
    Stevie O Jay : Whatdya mean he’s not­ Spanish?
    Marlon King : He’s mafioso.
    Stevie O Jay :­
    Marlon King : ( Marlon cleaning between his toes­ flicks a ball at Stevie )
    Stevie O Jay : F*ck­ off.
    Marlon King : ( He flicks another ball of cheese )­ Something to do with Capello’s mob. Apparently the­ football club is a front for people trafficing.
    Stevie­ O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : Yes, you heard me right, I­ said people trafficing.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Totally­ confused ) What?
    Marlon King : The Italian mob were­ trying to find a front for their operation. They tried­ Loserpool. Do you remember when you won the Champions­ League?
    Stevie O Jay : Yeah, great night.
    Marlon King :­ Well

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 7:07PM

  4. CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR.
    Stevie O Jay and­ Marlon King are settling into their new home. There’s a­ bit of friction.

    Stevie O Jay : Pheuuuufff
    Marlon King­ : Whaattt?
    Stevie O Jay : Ah nothin’
    Marlon King :­ What? You’re the one going Pheuuuufff.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Your feet Marlon, your feet, your f*cking feet?
    Marlon­ King : What’s wrong with my feet?
    Stevie O Jay : Can’t­ you smell or something?
    Marlon King : Huhh
    Stevie O Jay­ : Ere lad, your feet stink the place out. Even the­ f*cking screws don’t come in here anymore. I don’t know­ how many times I’ve told you, wash your f*cking­ feet!!
    Marlon King : Oh. Alright then.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Huh, thanks a lot.
    Marlon starts to sort through his­ washbag, gets his favourite soap out his nice new­ facecloth and begins to give his feet a wipe.
    Marlon­ King : Have you heard the news?
    Stevie O Jay : What­ news?
    Marlon King : About Benny?
    Stevie O Jay : Benny?­ Benny who?
    Marlon King : Benny The Ball Benitez.
    Stevie­ O Jay : What about him?
    Marlon King : They’re saying­ he’s not a real manager.
    Stevie O Jay : Not a real­ manager .. whatdya mean?
    Marlon King : He’s not­ Benitez.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Perplexed ) What!?
    Marlon­ King : It’s a front. His real name’s Benitio. He’s a­ Don.
    Stevie O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : He’s not Spanish­ .. he’s Italian.
    Stevie O Jay : Whatdya mean he’s not­ Spanish?
    Marlon King : He’s mafioso.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Silence
    Marlon King : ( Marlon cleaning between his­ toes flicks a ball at Stevie )
    Stevie O Jay : F*ck­ off.
    Marlon King : ( He flicks another ball of cheese )­ Something to do with Capello’s mob. Apparently the­ football club is a front for people trafficing.
    Stevie­ O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : Yes, you heard me right, I­ said people trafficing.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Totally­ confused ) What?
    Marlon King : The Italian mob were­ trying to find a front for their operation. They tried­ Loserpool. Do you remember when you won the Champions­ League?
    Stevie O Jay : Yeah, great night.
    Marlon

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 7:03PM

  5. CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR.
    Stevie O Jay and­ Marlon King are settling into their new home. There’s a­ bit of friction.

    Stevie O Jay : Pheuuuufff
    Marlon King­ : Whaattt?
    Stevie O Jay : Ah nothin’
    Marlon King :­ What? You’re the one going Pheuuuufff.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Your feet Marlon, your feet, your f*cking feet?
    Marlon­ King : What’s wrong with my feet?
    Stevie O Jay : Can’t­ you smell or something?
    Marlon King : Huhh
    Stevie O Jay­ : Ere lad, your feet stink the place out. Even the­ f*cking screws don’t come in here anymore. I don’t know­ how many times I’ve told you, wash your f*cking­ feet!!
    Marlon King : Oh. Alright then.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Huh, thanks a lot.

    Marlon starts to sort through his­ washbag, gets his favourite soap out his nice new­ facecloth and begins to give his feet a wipe.

    Marlon­ King : Have you heard the news?
    Stevie O Jay : What­ news?
    Marlon King : About Benny?
    Stevie O Jay : Benny?­ Benny who?
    Marlon King : Benny The Ball Benitez.
    Stevie­ O Jay : What about him?
    Marlon King : They’re saying­ he’s not a real manager.
    Stevie O Jay : Not a real­ manager .. whatdya mean?
    Marlon King : He’s not­ Benitez.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Perplexed ) What!?
    Marlon­ King : It’s a front. His real name’s Benitio. He’s a­ Don.
    Stevie O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : He’s not Spanish­ .. he’s Italian.
    Stevie O Jay : Whatdya mean he’s not­ Spanish?
    Marlon King : He’s mafioso.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Silence
    Marlon King : ( Marlon cleaning between his­ toes flicks a ball at Stevie )
    Stevie O Jay : F*ck­ off.
    Marlon King : ( He flicks another ball of cheese )­ Something to do with Capello’s mob. Apparently the­ football club is a front for people trafficing.
    Stevie­ O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : Yes, you heard me right, I­ said people trafficing.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Totally­ confused ) What?
    Marlon King : The Italian mob were­ trying to find a front for their operation. They tried­ Loserpool. Do you remember when you won the Champions­ League?
    Stevie O Jay : Yeah, great night.
    Ma

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 7:02PM

  6. Marlon King : Benitio couldn’t believe his luck when­ you won the Champions League, made him look like he was­ a football manager. It was all luck. He’s knows nothing­ about football. He’s been winging it since then.
    Stevie­ O Jay : ( Taken aback. ) Knows nothing?
    Marlon King :­ Nope. The Italians weren’t too happy though. You­ weren’t supposed to win. Benitio was supposed to throw­ the game.
    Stevie O Jay : No-one told me.
    Marlon King :­ Benitio was supposed to tell you.
    Stevie O Jay : Well­ he didn’t. F*ck!!
    Stevie O Jay : F*ck!!
    Marlon King :­ The Italians weren’t happy bunnies. Anyway, Benitio was­ making so much money trafficing people in and out as­ football players, taking a cut of the fees that it­ saved his life. He paid back the mob and made Capello­ rich. Everybody was happy. But that’s when the American­ mobs wanted a piece of the action.
    Stevie O Jay : How­ do you know all this?
    Marlon King : Ah, ah …... Benitio­ thought he was doing a great job but he hadn’t a clue­ what was really going on. Do you know some people say­ that he thought he was a real football manager? Like­ Alex Ferguson or something?
    Stevie O Jay : I thought­ he was a real manager.
    Marlon King : So does Benitio,­ that’s why it was so sweet.
    Stevie O Jay : So that’s­ why the Americans mob bought the club. It didn’t make­ sense. They didn’t seem to get on ….
    Marlon King :­ ….let’s call it a family disagreement.
    Stevie O Jay :­ They weren’t putting money in, … they were taking money­ out.
    Marlon King : That’s it, who’s a clever boy? Well­ things have gone t*ts up and the Americans want to­ bring in their own man in and I’m afraid that it’s­ ‘Goodbye Mr Benitio’.
    Stevie O Jay : And I thought it­ was the b*autiful game.
    Marlon King : That’s right. (­ Marlon flicking another ball of toe cheese at Stevie ) ­ On yer head.
    Stevie O Jay : Listen, do that one more­ time and I’ll set my ‘patsy ‘ mates on you.
    Marlon King­ : Ha, ha, ha, ha, not in here you won’t. .. ha, ha, ha­ , ha.
    Stevie O Jay : Ha, ha, ha,

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 6:58PM

  7. CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR.
    Stevie O Jay and­ Marlon King are settling into their new home. There’s a­ bit of friction.

    Stevie O Jay : Pheuuuufff
    Marlon King­ : Whaattt?
    Stevie O Jay : Ah nothin’
    Marlon King :­ What? You’re the one going Pheuuuufff.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Your feet Marlon, your feet, your f*cking feet?
    Marlon­ King : What’s wrong with my feet?
    Stevie O Jay : Can’t­ you smell or something?
    Marlon King : Huhh
    Stevie O Jay­ : Ere lad, your feet stink the place out. Even the­ f*cking screws don’t come in here anymore. I don’t know­ how many times I’ve told you, wash your f*cking­ feet!!
    Marlon King : Oh. Alright then.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Huh, thanks a lot.

    Marlon starts to sort through his­ washbag, gets his favourite soap out his nice new­ facecloth and begins to give his feet a wipe.

    Marlon­ King : Have you heard the news?
    Stevie O Jay : What­ news?
    Marlon King : About Benny?
    Stevie O Jay : Benny?­ Benny who?
    Marlon King : Benny The Ball Benitez.
    Stevie­ O Jay : What about him?
    Marlon King : They’re saying­ he’s not a real manager.
    Stevie O Jay : Not a real­ manager .. whatdya mean?
    Marlon King : He’s not­ Benitez.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Perplexed ) What!?
    Marlon­ King : It’s a front. His real name’s Benitio. He’s a­ Don.
    Stevie O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : He’s not Spanish­ .. he’s Italian.
    Stevie O Jay : Whatdya mean he’s not­ Spanish?
    Marlon King : He’s mafioso.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Silence
    Marlon King : ( Marlon cleaning between his­ toes flicks a ball at Stevie )
    Stevie O Jay : F*ck­ off.
    Marlon King : ( He flicks another ball of cheese )­ Something to do with Capello’s mob. Apparently the­ football club is a front for people trafficing.
    Stevie­ O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : Yes, you heard me right, I­ said people trafficing.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Completely­ confused ) What?
    Marlon King : The Italian mob were­ trying to find a front for their operation. They tried­ Loserpool. Do you remember when you won the Champions­ League?
    Stevie O Jay : Yeah, great night.

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 6:56PM

  8. CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR.

    Stevie O Jay and­ Marlon King are settling into their new home. There’s a­ bit of friction.

    Stevie O Jay : Pheuuuufff
    Marlon King­ : Whaattt?
    Stevie O Jay : Ah nothin’
    Marlon King :­ What? You’re the one going Pheuuuufff.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Your feet Marlon, your feet, your f*cking feet?
    Marlon­ King : What’s wrong with my feet?
    Stevie O Jay : Can’t­ you smell or something?
    Marlon King : Huhh
    Stevie O Jay­ : Ere lad, your feet stink the place out. Even the­ f*cking screws don’t come in here anymore. I don’t know­ how many times I’ve told you, wash your f*cking­ feet!!
    Marlon King : Oh. Alright then.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Huh, thanks a lot.

    Marlon starts to sort through his­ washbag, gets his favourite soap out his nice new­ facecloth and begins to give his feet a wipe.

    Marlon­ King : Have you heard the news?
    Stevie O Jay : What­ news?
    Marlon King : About Benny?
    Stevie O Jay : Benny?­ Benny who?
    Marlon King : Benny The Ball Benitez.
    Stevie­ O Jay : What about him?
    Marlon King : They’re saying­ he’s not a real manager.
    Stevie O Jay : Not a real­ manager .. whatdya mean?
    Marlon King : He’s not­ Benitez.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Perplexed ) What!?
    Marlon­ King : It’s a front. His real name’s Benitio. He’s a­ Don.
    Stevie O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : He’s not Spanish­ .. he’s Italian.
    Stevie O Jay : Whatdya mean he’s not­ Spanish?
    Marlon King : He’s mafioso.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Silence
    Marlon King : ( Marlon cleaning between his­ toes flicks a ball at Stevie )
    Stevie O Jay : F*ck­ off.
    Marlon King : ( He flicks another ball of cheese )­ Something to do with Capello’s mob. Apparently the­ football club is a front for people trafficing.
    Stevie­ O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : Yes, you heard me right, I­ said people trafficing.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Completely­ confused ) What?
    Marlon King : The Italian mob were­ trying to find a front for their operation. They tried­ Loserpool. Do you remember when you won the Champions­ League?
    Stevie O Jay : Yeah, great night

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 6:56PM

  9. Subplot to CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR.
    (­ Thanks to mattneems )

    Fernando Torres
    Robbie Keane­
    Ryan Babel
    Xabi Alonso­
    Dirk Kuyt
    Albert Riera­
    Andrea Dossena
    Peter Crouch­
    Lucas Leiva
    Jermaine­ Pennant
    Martin Skrtel
    Craig­ Bellamy
    Luis Garcia­
    Jose Reina
    Dan Agger
    Mohammed­ Sissoko
    Fernando­ Morientes
    Yossi Benayoun
    Diego­ Cavalieri
    Alvaro­ Arbeloa
    Sebastian Leto
    Jose Miguel­ Gonzalez
    Gabriel­ Paletta
    Mark Gonzalez
    David Ngog­
    Scott Carson­
    Mikel San Jose
    David Martin
    Antonio­ Barragan­
    Besian Idrizaj
    Jack Hobbs
    Alex Cooper­
    Alexander­ Kacaniklic
    Krisztian Nemeth
    Andras Simon­
    Victor­ Palsson
    Gary Mackay Steven
    Vitor Flora­
    Andriy­ Voronin
    Nikolay Mihaylov
    Emmanuel Mendy­
    Marvin­ Pourie
    Dani Pacheco
    Nikola Saric
    Lauri Dalla­ Valle­
    Gerardo Bruna
    Hakan Duyan
    Damien Plessis­
    Peter­ Gulacsi
    Charles Itandje
    Philipp Degen
    Vincent­ Lucas­
    Ryan Crowther
    Mihail Alexandrov
    Robbie Fowler­
    Ryan­ Wilkie
    Javier Mascherano
    Miki Roque
    Nabir El­ Zhar­
    Mark Smyth
    Jay Smith
    Stephen Darby
    Craig­ Lindfield­
    Adam Hammill
    Danny Guthrie
    Paul Anderson­
    Lee­ Peltier
    Fabio Aurelio
    Jan Kromkamp
    Boudewijn­ Zenden­
    Mauricio Pellegrino
    Godwin Antwi
    Robbie­ Threlfall­
    Ryan Flynn
    Calum Woods
    Paul Willis
    Danny­­ O'Donnell
    Ramon Calliste
    Steve Irwin
    Martin­­ Kelly
    Ronald Huth
    Jordy Brouwer
    Francisco Manuel­­ Duran
    Emiliano Insua
    Ray Putterill
    Martin Hansen­­
    Jay Spearing
    Dave Roberts
    David Mannix
    Antonio­­ Nunez
    ????????????????????????

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 6:53PM

  10. CONVERSATION OVERHEARD IN HMP ATAVAR.

    Stevie O Jay and­ Marlon King are settling into their new home. There’s a­ bit of friction.

    Stevie O Jay : Pheuuuufff
    Marlon King­ : Whaattt?
    Stevie O Jay : Ah nothin’
    Marlon King :­ What? You’re the one going Pheuuuufff.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Your feet Marlon, your feet, your f*cking feet?
    Marlon­ King : What’s wrong with my feet?
    Stevie O Jay : Can’t­ you smell or something?
    Marlon King : Huhh
    Stevie O Jay­ : Ere lad, your feet stink the place out. Even the­ f*cking screws don’t come in here anymore. I don’t know­ how many times I’ve told you, wash your f*cking­ feet!!
    Marlon King : Oh. Alright then.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Huh, thanks a lot.

    Marlon starts to sort through his­ washbag, gets his favourite soap out his nice new­ facecloth and begins to give his feet a wipe.

    Marlon­ King : Have you heard the news?
    Stevie O Jay : What­ news?
    Marlon King : About Benny?
    Stevie O Jay : Benny?­ Benny whOO?
    Marlon King : Benny The Ball­ Benitez.
    Stevie O Jay : What about him?
    Marlon King :­ They’re saying he’s not a real manager.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Not a real manager .. whatdya mean?
    Marlon King : He’s­ not Benitez.
    Stevie O Jay : ( Perplexed ) What!?
    Marlon­ King : It’s a front. His real name’s Benitio. He’s a­ Don.
    Stevie O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : He’s not Spanish­ .. he’s Italian.
    Stevie O Jay : Whatdya mean he’s not­ Spanish?
    Marlon King : He’s mafioso.
    Stevie O Jay :­ Silence
    Marlon King : ( Marlon cleaning between his­ toes flicks a ball at Stevie )
    Stevie O Jay : F*ck­ off.
    Marlon King : ( He flicks another ball of toe­ cheese ) Something to do with Capello’s mob. Apparently­ the football club is a front for people trafficing.­
    Stevie O Jay : Eh?
    Marlon King : Yes, you heard me­ right, I said people trafficing.
    Stevie O Jay : (­ Completely confused ) What?
    Marlon King : The Italian­ mob were trying to find a front for their operation.­ They tried Loserpool. Do you remember when you won the­ Champions League?
    Stevie O Jay : Yeah, great

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 6:52PM

  11. Marlon King : Benitio couldn’t believe his luck when­ you won the Champions League, made him look like he was­ a football manager. It was all luck. He’s knows nothing­ about football. He’s been winging it since then.
    Stevie­ O Jay : ( Taken aback. ) Knows nothing?
    Marlon King :­ Nope. The Italians weren’t too happy though. You­ weren’t supposed to win. Benitio was supposed to throw­ the game.
    Stevie O Jay : No-one told me.
    Marlon King :­ Benitio was supposed to tell you.
    Stevie O Jay : Well­ he didn’t. F*ck!!
    Stevie O Jay : F*ck!!
    Marlon King :­ The Italians weren’t happy bunnies. Anyway, Benitio was­ making so much money trafficing people in and out as­ football players, taking a cut of the fees that it­ saved his life. He paid back the mob and made Capello­ rich. Everybody was happy. But that’s when the American­ mobs wanted a piece of the action.
    Stevie O Jay : How­ do you know all this?

    Marlon King : Ah, ah …...­ Benitio thought he was doing a great job but he hadn’t­ a clue what was really going on. Do you know some­ people say that he thought he was a real football­ manager? Like Alex Ferguson or something?
    Stevie O Jay­ : I thought he was a real manager.
    Marlon King : So­ does Benitio, that’s why it was so sweet.
    Stevie O Jay­ : So that’s why the Americans mob bought the club. It­ didn’t make sense. They didn’t seem to get on ….
    Marlon­ King : ….let’s call it a family disagreement.

    Stevie O­ Jay : They weren’t putting money in, … they were taking­ money out.
    Marlon King : That’s it, who’s a clever boy?­ Well things have gone t*ts up and the Americans want to­ bring in their own man in and I’m afraid that it’s­ ‘Goodbye Mr Benitio’.
    Stevie O Jay : And I thought it­ was the b*autiful game.

    Marlon King : That’s right. (­ Marlon flicking another ball of toe cheese at Stevie ) ­ On yer head.

    Stevie O Jay : Listen, do that one more­ time and I’ll set my ‘patsy ‘ mates on you.
    Marlon King­ : Ha, ha, ha, ha, not in here you won’t. .. ha, ha, ha­ , ha.
    Stevie O Jay : Ha,

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 6:51PM

  12. Marlon King : That’s right. ( Marlon flicking another­ ball of toe cheese at Stevie ) On yer head.

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 6:50PM

  13. flicking

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 6:50PM

  14. Stevie O Jay : Listen, do that one more time and I’ll­ set my ‘patsy ‘ mates on you.
    Marlon King : Ha, ha, ha,­ ha, not in here you won’t. .. ha, ha, ha , ha.
    Stevie O­ Jay : Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 6:47PM

  15. :

    From Stevie O Jay, on Mon 2 Nov 6:45PM

  16. liverpool won it a stoke lost it!

    From aneesa4, on Thu 20 Aug 1:00PM

  17. They will lost next match(against Aston Villa) trust­ me.

    From Tham, on Thu 20 Aug 12:32PM

  18. What's the only ship never to dock at Liverpool? ­ The premiership! tee he!

    From Sid, on Thu 20 Aug 12:08PM

  19. liverpool were great last night. but heres a question­ for liverpool fans: now that we have some new signings­ e.g.glenn johnson dont u think that last night showed­ that he will be the next scorer. and dont u think that­ torres isnt going to be getting his share of the goals­ because he is letting the likes of johnson get the ball­ and score instead??
    i would hate to see torres become­ one of the lowest scorers in liverpool this season and­ i want him to be a constant goalscorer but for some­ reason i think that he is going to be overshadowed by­ glen johnson and the others

    From smiley123, on Thu 20 Aug 11:43AM

  20. If Glenn Johnson starts punching manure fans in pubs he­ could soon become an all time great for Liverpool.

    From rafaforpope, on Thu 20 Aug 11:12AM
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