Transfers - Gossip Shop: Henry to Liverpool?

Eurosport - Thu, 23 Oct 20:08:00 2008

Thierry Henry looked like a right miserable devil last night, wearing a hoodie on the Barcelona bench as his team-mates thrashed Basel 5-0.

2008 Barcelona Thierry Henry - 0

(More perceptive readers may gather that the photograph on the right is not from last night)

The feeling in Catalonia is that the Frenchman is a misfit and will be on his way before long.

Liverpool have spent like drunken sailors but still look a bit short up front following Dirk Kuyt's conversion to wing wizard and Robbie Keane's lukewarm start to life at Anfield.

If they can lose a couple of players from their hugely overstocked midfield, they might make a cheeky £10m bid for Henry.

It hardly needs saying that Manchester City are interested, as are Juventus, from whom Henry joined Arsenal.

The man who has nicked Henry's seat on the back of the French team bus (no, really, he has), Karim Benzema, remains an object of Manchester United's affection.

However, he is also wanted by Real Madrid and Barcelona , who will further Benzema's identity theft by handing him Henry's peg in the dressing room.

Other sagas that continue to rumble are those of Amr Zaki, on whom Wigan have finally admitted they do not have first option (whoops) and Roque Santa Cruz, whom Aston Villa cannot afford according to Blackburn manager Paul Ince.

There's nothing like an old-school Brazilian football name. All thse -inhos, -aldos and -anos are fine, but Gossip Shop prefers something with a little more gravitas.

Wellington, for example. Or Gladstone, or Lincoln, or Mozart, or Washington. There is even a George Lucas knocking about at Celta Vigo.

If Gossip Shop were a Russian oligarch, it would buy a middling Premier League team and buy an entire squad of Brazilians named after historical figures.

And Vagner Love would be playing up front. True, he is a typo away from the great composer and not-so-great anti-semite.

Plus he has tacked the word 'Love' on the end as a tribute to his famous way with women.

Earlier this year a video found its way on the internet that featured Vagner Love canoodling with an adult film star by the unlikely name of Pamela Butt. No relation to Nicky, as far as GS knows.

If only Premier League footballers named themselves after the thing they do best. Then we could thrill to the likes of Rooney Swear, Bramble Blunder and Drogba Fall Over In A Heap.

Anyway, Gossip Shop's fictional team would face competition for Vagner Love from, inevitably, Manchester City.

Mr Love said he would rather join City than Tottenham, as Spurs have "a bad position" - something about which the Brazilian, given his previous, clearly knows a thing or two.

Peterborough striker Craig Mackail-Smith has bagged 10 goals in 12 games this season - enough to trick West Bromwich manager Tony Mowbray into thinking he has what it takes to step up two divisions.

The Baggies will waste/spend £2m on the 24-year-old.

Charlton boss Alan Pardew had been banking on getting £10m to spend in January, of which he had already earmarked a chunk for the purchase of Hayden Mullins.

But Pards can think again, because the Dubai-based group who were set to buy the Addicks have pulled out. Something about which Vagner Love.. no, no, sorry.

And finally, Harry Redknapp is prepared to offer David Beckham a Portsmouth 'lifeline' if the loan move to Milan falls through.

Don't hold your breath, Harry.

Alex Chick / Eurosport

Comment 85 - 104 of 104

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  1. Man U will have to wait if they want Benzema, Lyon has­ currently placed a price tag of around 100 mil on­ Benzema, which, let's face it, makes it impossbile­ for any club (except maybe City, those super-rich­ idiots) to buy him. As for Henry, Barca will never sell­ him for just 10 mil! Geez, are Liverpool desperate or­ what?

    From quilava_ex, on Fri 31 Oct 9:08AM

  2. he was asked so many times before if he'll return­ to england and every time he said there's only 1­ team in premier league for him so i really don't­ think he'll join liverpool

    From Xtc, on Fri 24 Oct 4:20PM

  3. Kwjibo your rant about Liverpool fan is ,to say the­ least ill informed ,Firstly One young lad paid by a­ journalist burned one shirt and at the time lfc fans­ said if he want to go let him go (but be under no­ illusion they all loved him and what he had done for­ the club
    )But what's wrong with saying if your no­ happy here then go ??? NO ONE IS BIGGER THAN THE CLUB­ ,or should we have take Man utd approach and just have­ a main player walking around sulking .

    The Owen bit­ ,if you went to games at anfield you would hear Fowler­ name being sung all the time ahead of Owens even when­ he was on the bench,Why because they never took to him­ in the first place ,He would all way bang on about­ england and never mention club football ,ask Newcastle­ fans .So may be you should get your facts straight­ before slating Liverpool fans
    How many time does the­ kop applaud opposing team when they do something good­ ,zaki at the weekend got clapped for his goal ,right­ back when leeds won the title at are place the kop sang­ champions to them and kept leeds on the pitch for 20­ mins ,amd many many more times ,Me i am proud to be a­ kopite and hate it when fairweather fan who know­ nothing and jump on old tired same trash to bash real­ fans .get a life and may be go to a game

    From baros423121, on Fri 24 Oct 3:42PM

  4. Only Arsene Wenger knows how to get the best from Titi.

    From Sussex BY The Sea, on Fri 24 Oct 3:33PM

  5. ALL ENGLISH FOOTBALL
    PREMIER LEAGUE – FA CUP – CARLING­ CUP
    CHAMPIONS LEAGUE – UEFA CUP
    ALL MATCHES ON WEB: ­ PREMIER LEAGUE, LIGA, SERIE A, BUNDESLIGA AND CHAMPIONS­ LEAGUE - UEFA CUP
    ALL THE HIGHLIGHTS OF PREMIER­ LEAGUE MATCHES

    From , on Fri 24 Oct 3:18PM

  6. proctor412, how am i contradicting myself ?­

    "keep him away from anfield.The @#$% should not­ come bck 2 any english side. especially after what he­ called the english."

    Sorry sbg_sols i cant find­ the quote of what he actually said.

    From kathleen, on Fri 24 Oct 2:59PM

  7. Va Va Vroom, I shall get the shell suit out of the back­ of the Clio Laa!!!

    From Ruskyuk, on Fri 24 Oct 12:38AM

  8. Merde! I did not see zis coming!
    (@#$% Whinger, @#$%­ manager...allegedly.)

    From GW, on Thu 23 Oct 11:48PM

  9. come on mike newell make him your first signing lol

    From jase, on Thu 23 Oct 10:29PM

  10. LIVERPOOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    From Torres76, on Thu 23 Oct 10:28PM

  11. liverpool will beat chelsea like we should of done last­ season unless a certain cheating winger decides to jump­ in the air and get a penalty so the most greedy player­ in football can score it. 2-1 the pool...............

    From Torres76, on Thu 23 Oct 10:27PM

  12. john g Well,you're right,everything i say is­ futbollix,has somebody sprinkled you with some­ magic-....make you this clever.... dust.....?
    In your­ perfect world.. everything would be sensible would­ it?
    Where do you live?
    You should go for a walk on­ Morecambe Sands,mate.

    From , on Thu 23 Oct 9:07PM

  13. Does any half-wit actually believe that everyone who­ posts on this site,sticks to strict sensible rules aka­ john g-89(89 is prob your IQ)
    Its a democracy you­ pillock.. what sensible comments about football would­ you like ....ones that suit you....Go and scrub some­ public toilets,fella,
    and the other nobcheeses lengthy­ Lfc rant,all the clubs are the same,cobber,no worse­ than Newcastle and their burning of their own town­ centre.
    So pull your heads out of your arses and post­ what you frigucking like.

    From , on Thu 23 Oct 8:58PM

  14. We've just brough Keane for crying out loud! We­ need a right midfielder. We don't want to do a Man­ U, no offence, but only club who resembles what­ we're doing at the moment - (TEVES, BERBATOV,­ ROONEY?) Though Henry for £10 mill would be a bargain.

    From clivewilliamson, on Thu 23 Oct 8:25PM

  15. Fred scrub your foul mouth out and then come back and­ make sensible and positive forum chat you foul mouthed­ ignoramous

    From john g, on Thu 23 Oct 8:00PM

  16. Met a lovely girl the other night, she took me back to­ her house, threw herself on the bed and shouted­ 'HUMILIATE ME', so i gave a Tottenham shirt and­ said 'put that on then'

    From craigolsson, on Thu 23 Oct 8:00PM

  17. Kwjibo, why are your comments aimed just at Liverpool­ when its the same with all fans even yours possibly a­ Manc or a Chelski?

    From john g, on Thu 23 Oct 7:58PM

  18. Just watching spurs go 2 down and there's no way­ Henry could be as miserable as they are at the moment.

    From facup71, on Thu 23 Oct 7:56PM

  19. Hunchbackofnotredamme, you seem to have a lot to say on­ the subject of Liverpool FC, shame everything you say­ is Bo###cks just grow up and come back when you have­ something sensible to say

    From john g, on Thu 23 Oct 7:56PM

  20. na. never happen

    From Edward, on Thu 23 Oct 7:37PM
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