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Sven-Goran Eriksson has been told he needs to introduce a little Thai flavour to Manchester City in attempt to spice things up at Eastlands.

New owner Thaksin Shinawatra, evidently uninterested in his club's results on the pitch, has insisted Sven needs to look to the East before the new season starts in a couple of weeks.

His lawyer, Noppadol Pattama said: "We expect to select at least two Thai players from our national team to join Manchester City."

Having earlier in the week bemoaned the lack of expenditure since he took over, the news can only serve to infuriate Sven further, who no doubt would be happy to settle for a green curry and some steamed rice as the only Thai flavouring he tastes at Eastlands.

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Rennes' signing of French midfielder Rod Fanni gave headline writers a bit of a chuckle yesterday (it seems only eurosport.yahoo.com was far too grown-up to stoop to playground humour, opting for the rather tame 'Rennes sign Fanni'), prompting ED to compile a short list of amusingly-named players, past and present.

Imagine a team consisting of Reading's Danny Shittu, Brazilians Dudu and Kaka and current national team boss Dunga, Rafael Scheidt (pronounced you-know-how), former German international Stefan Kuntz, Dinamo Zagreb keeper Georg Koch, former Rangers youngster Andew Dick and Uwe Fuchs.

All together now: titter, titter.

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New Manchester United signing Nani laid his claim on a place in the Premiership's 'Celebration XI ' with an athletic backflip after scoring on what was a highly impressive debut in the Far East on Monday.

Nani is set to join the likes of Bernardo Corradi, Obafemi Martins, Lomana LuaLua, Florent Malouda and Peter Crouch in the elite squad of flair celebrators who light up our otherwise dull Saturday afternoons.

Really? Well, no. To be honest, ED never saw what was wrong with Alan Shearer's simple raised right arm and big grin, a winning combination that brought joy to thousands of people for many years.

So, who needs corner flag knightings, somersaults and robotics? Not us thank you very much. You can stick all that up your Athole Still. Amd whilst you are at it, you can add him to the list of names above.

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FOREIGN VIEW: Milan supreme Silvio Berlusconi wants Brazilian whizkid Alexandre Pato at the San Siro, with the Corriere Dello Sport running with the headline 'Berlusconi: Prendo Pato'.

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MUST READ: Eurosport.yahoo.com's Alex Chick looks into the sad decline of Arsenal's glorious team of 2003-04. Click on the link below the photo to read more.

Eurosport