Much like Transfer Talk in a nightclub contemplating the deadly approach of two o'clock, Stoke City have lowered their standards after their silly attempt to bag Theo Walcott on loan.

Yesterday we told you how chairman Peter Coates fancied an audacious swoop for Arsenal's teenage star, who for the purposes of this analogy can represent the diminutive delights of Eva Longoria.

However Stoke manager Tony Pulis has instead set his sights on a player who more resembles Ugly Betty - Nick Montgomery from Sheffield United.

Pulis normally likes his players big as well as hideous, but is undoubtedly impressed by the small midfielder's tigerish attitude to the beautiful game - and he fancies himself as a bit of a hard man.

Montgomery has also registered his desire to leave as chairman Kevin McCabe begs fans not to demonstrate against Bryan Robson during the televised FA Cup tie at home to Manchester City.

Another Blade who has already exited the players' entrance is former Everton goalkeeper Paul Gerrard, who Blackpool have signed on loan for the rest of the season.

Robson has bemoaned the lack of transfer funds in South Yorkshire to The Guardian, but that has not stopped him looking to swoop for Brighton skipper Dean Hammond for £400,000.

The former England captain wants Hammond as his move for Middlesbrough's Lee Cattermole looks dead in the water.

Across the county, Barnsley have re-signed League One play-off final goal-scoring hero Daniel Nardiello from QPR on loan for the second half of the campaign.

At its beginning he legged it down the M1 to join Rangers, leaving perplexed journalists and club officials waiting at Oakwell with the ink drying on a contract destined for the wastebasket.

Former Tyke left-back Dominik Werling, known in the Championship for his thunderbolt free-kick, has surfaced in West Yorks for a trial with League One club Leeds.

Dennis Wise is also taking a good, hard, long look at Trinidad and Tobago World Cup star Cornell Glen and Latvia defender Oskars Klava.

Coventry winger Julian Gray's £1m release clause could be triggered by desperate Derby while Wolves midfielder Karl Henry is wanted by another Premier League outfit, in this case Reading.

Wolves have been joined by QPR and Leicester in a three-way scrap for £500k-rated winger Kris Commons, while Ian Holloway has offered Gareth McAuley a big pay rise at the Walkers Stadium to scare off Ipswich.

Charlton are watching defender Tiago Valente, on the books of Pacos de Ferreira in Portugal.

Jonathan Symcox / Eurosport