In what one can only assume was a genuine moment of spontaneous genius, a French waiter who was once serving Early Doors likened French cuisine to English football.

"Eet used to be ze best in ze wurld, but lately zose involved 'ave become complacent and arrogant. Ze whole sing needs a kick up ze ass eef sings are to get betteur," said the friendly serveur, before suggesting ED had its filet de boeuf cooked saignant with a sauce au poivre.

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Eurosport