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The finish in St Etienne wasn't so much as a showdown but a stand-off between the two escapees Marcus Burghardt and Carlos Barredo.

With both riders having built up an unassailable lead after a 131-km breakaway they were reduced to playing mind-games in what became a fascinating game of cat-and-mouse between the big German and his diminutive Spanish counterpart.

The gamesmanship seemed to start when Barredo looked back, saw Burghardt was trying to do up his jersey, and slammed on the gas to catch him unawares with 8km to go.

Burghardt then tried the same trick when Barredo over-exaggeratedly swept wide after doing his turn on the front.

Once both increasingly-anxious riders rejoined there seemed to be a bit of a stalemate, a gentleman's agreement if you will. Barredo called his QuickStep car; Burghardt, maybe making a point, countered by doing exactly the same thing with his Columbia vehicle.

Meanwhile, their respective generous rat-tails crept out beneath their helmets and flowed in the wind - it was like watching the bemulleted Spanish U17 football squad on bikes.

Once the one-to-go banner was passed it bordered on farcical as both riders slowed to adopt a style more welcome in the velodrome.

Besides his 2007 win in the Gent-Wevelgem, 25-year-old Burghardt is best know for colliding into a naughty Labrador in last year's Tour - a crash which buckled his front wheel completely, but somehow left the mutt unscathed. (It's not as impressive as Philippe Gilbert's canine collision - go see for yourself.)

So slow where the two stage-seekers that the entire cast of The 101 Dalmatians could have probably beaten them to the line.

In the event, Barredo left it so late, his shaggy-haired companion (Burghardt, not any of the spotty dogs) won it at a canter, leaving one Spanish pup incandescent with rage and slamming his handlebars.

It was a bit like watching a 0-60 km/h race between a Ferrari and a Lada.

A wistful ode to yesteryear

Yesterday Blazin' Saddles rubbed a few people up the wrong way with the suggestion that the much-anticipated Alpine stage to Alpe d'Huez had been a bit of a damp squib.

Saddles' admittedly exaggerated depiction of CSC's inability to put on the attacking spectacle they had promised didn't go down too well with some of the cycling realists out there who made the conclusion that if you get rid of the drugs then you have to accept less explosive displays on the high cols.

And it is a valid point. But if you just understood Saddles' state of mind as he wrote his soon-to-be-defunct blog, you might be a little more compassionate. He had spent the whole day writing the live ticker feed for the stage, trying to bring alive the epic battle that was being fought.

Sadly, he had to resort to jokes about the infeasible large upper-half of Stefan Schumacher's head (seen 80s caper Coneheads recently?) and Fabian Cancellara's prodigious chin.

Once back home (after, even he must admit, a gutsy attack from Carlos Sastre) Saddles turned on ITV4 and - praise be to Phil Liggett - managed to catch a superb programme about the Tour's most memorable moments through history.

Watching the likes of Tom Simpson, Jacques Antequil, Richard Virenque, Bjarne Riis, Pedro Delgado, Marco Pantani and Djamolidine Abdoujaparov - Saddles was transported to a golden segment of his mind's cycling paraphernalia. And yet on second thoughts, it proves all your quibbles completely.

The death of doping will have to make us alter our expectations as viewers, forcing us to draw a line under so many of these splendid moments. But we'll all be the better for it.

Schleck check

So, Johnny Schleck, father of Frank and Andy, was pulled over by French custom officers and had his car schlecked for illegal booty on Thursday. (The gendarme obviously missed yesterday's stage then...)

"We were looking for doping substances but the schleck was negative so we let him (Johnny Check) go," a customs spokesman said.

Maybe next time they should search underneath one attacking rider's helmet - as we have already discussed, it seems so high on his head there must be room to keep a whole Moises Duenas-style mobile pharmacy under there (not that he would ever want to do such a despicable thing).

Another boom boom tish

So, Saunier-Duval is withdrawing its sponsorship for the rest of the 2008 season, but the former team of disgraced, Pantani-worshipping, Riccardo Ricco will continue to race under the name Scott, thanks to the second-half of their sponsorship portfolio.

"We want the young riders of the team to be given a chance," said the Scott Sports vice president. Saddles seems to remember a similar thing being said when that young rider Ricco was drafted into the Tour team at the 11th hour. . .

Still, as long as all the perpetrators don't get off, ahem, Scot-free, then Saddles doesn't mind too much.

Predictions and Plat du Jour

Friday's 165.5km sightseeing traipse from Roanne to Montlucon, the birth town of delectable French actress Audrey Tautou (for whom Saddles paddles constant thought), could well offer the sprinters a last chance to clean up before the showdown on the Champs. If that is the case, let favour shine upon Barloworld's Robbie Hunter.

Not only the home of a specimen Saddles wishes he could keep all to himself, Montlucon is the birth place of AVN male foreign performer of the year 2007, the adult movie actor Jean Val Jean, the huge presence of the celebrated flick Possessed & Undressed.

The only rider in the peloton who remotely looks like a pornstar is Big George Hincapie, and so if there is a breakaway, he's obviously one to watch. Besides, it's about time Columbia won another stage.

Local delicacies of the region include truffade (a garlicy variant of Tartiflette), roast boar, veal braised with girolles mushrooms and blueberry tart. And to drink? Well, the Sunday Times wine club recommends a 5-star, berry-scented, vintage pinot noir named Les Deux Clochers, from St Pourcain, whose vineyards are one of France's best kept secrets. Cheers!

Lanterne Rouge

"I'd taken too much liquid on board during the climb and I kept on throwing up." This was Stefan Schumacher's explanation for his high-altitude bonk on Wednesday. Can you think of anything worse exiting from a rider other than Schumi vomit?

Felix Lowe / Eurosport