Blazin' Saddles: 'Holey Grail'

Eurosport - Thu, 26 Nov 10:44:00 2009

Apparently Spain has a doping problem - and it's being whipped into shape by 'Operacion Grial'.

Holy grail (Raider of Lost Ark) - 0

Forget Operacion Puerto and Eufemiano Fuentes - that was so 2006. Now it's all about some doping doctor called Walter Viru, lord of the latest ring.

Recent raids by the Spanish Civil Guard led to the arrests of 11 individuals, one of whom has been identified as Peruvian physician and former Kelme team doctor, Mr Viru (no doubt already tagged 'Gollum' or 'Smeagol' by crass cycling bloggers all over the world).

One of the other men arrested is a professional cyclist from Murcia with the initials P.J.V.A - that's funny, BS thought his initials would have been A.V.B. - who stands responsible for distributing EPO, CERA, the little-known drug Cake and the kind of growth hormones responsible for the size of Ivan Drago from Rocky IV's muscles, not to mention the generously filled lunchbox of at least one former Olympic short-distance sprinter.

The first thing that strikes BS is the name of this new operation. Presumably the hapless Spanish officials tagged it 'Grail' because the quest against doping is the object of a prolonged endeavour (one which in Spain seems to get swept under the carpet and prioritised firmly after 'siesta' and 'manana' in the grand scheme of things).

It's no secret that most doping roads lead to Spain - via a quick stop off in Rome chez Di Luca - and that once in Spain, all or many of those paths eventually come back to chateau Kelme.

It also strikes BS as a bit rum that the Guardia Civil can try to enforce a crackdown on doping while the Spanish cycling authorities sit back and see a convicted offender not only ride, but win their national tour. But maybe that's just why BS has little faith in Grail going the distance.

Indeed, it should come as little surprise that - according to former Spanish pro-turned-whistleblower Jesus Manzano - Viru's clinic is, in fact, one of the Spanish laboratories accredited by the UCI in the fight against doping.

It turns out that our inside man Viru allegedly got his colleagues to test vials of Russian EPO before distributing them to his clients. And in the words of the Big Lebowski: "Don't f*** with the Jesus".

Bradley Wiggins got it right when he Tweeted: "What a load of rubbish this Operation Grail is. It'll go on for two years and no names will be released and no one will be charged!"

Like Puerto, Grail's bucket will be punctured with holes until all the water flows out. It will drag on, get partly covered up and lead to not much except the burning at the stake of a few key offenders, viruses such as Viru.

And meanwhile, the ring's power - certainly over other sports such as tennis and football - will get stronger and stronger.

But the hope remains that maybe, like Alejandro Valverde, it will finally go the distance and emerge victorious.

KAZAKH COUP: The most tedious will-they-won't-they saga of the close season came to a conclusion on Wednesday when the UCI finally approved the registration of the Astana team for 2010 - much to the dismay of Alberto Contador, who will now no doubt be enforced to invoke one of those many get-out clauses in his contract if he wants any chance of beating a 38-year-old veteran come next July.

The UCI's decision came after Nikolai Proskurin, deputy president of the Kazakh Cycling Federation (KCF), had claimed that the forces that were working to exclude Astana from competing.

"It seems to me that the UCI don't want an Asian team in the ProTour, and for it to beat European teams," said Proskurin, before watching a reply of Kazakhstan's European Zone World Cup 2010 qualifier against Belarus.

Astana's licence approval also comes after former manager Johan Bruyneel was forced to reject claims of sabotage following Proskurin's cavalier assertion that the Belgian had "told us he would do everything possible to ensure that they withdrew our licence".

So shocked was Bruyneel that he posted a video on YouTube and Twitter under the tag: "My reaction to false KCF accusations".

Half asleep and thinking about lunch, BS clicked on the link in the belief he'd hear just why the RadioShack head honcho had offended Kentucky Fried Chicken so much (perhaps for giving the Bargain Bucket a cold shoulder?).

Instead, there he was "to deny the fact that I would like or want to see Team Astana go away". Bruyneel added: "It's good for everyone that there are top teams and Astana are definitely one of them. I would definitely like to see them at the ProTour."

Well, Johan's wishes have been answered - and the team will be even stronger following the announcement that Oscar Pereiro, the 2006 "winner" (RIP Landis), had signed on for a year to help his compatriot to his third Tour victory next July. All's good that end's well, eh?

NEWS ROUND-UP: Cadel Evans is selling T-shirts on his website with the slogan "Don't stand on my dog!" The phrase is a reference to his outburst during the 2008 Tour in which he threatened to cut the head off a reporter who had stepped too close to his beloved mutt Molly.

Costing the princely sum of AUS $50, the blue T-shirts are "for everyone who likes, every now and then, not to take life too seriously!" The road race world champion is expected to buy a whole batch of them himself during next year's Tour.

Lampre have not been granted ProTour status, meaning Damiano Cunego may have to look elsewhere if he wants to put in his usual bonk-and-stage-win in one of the three major tours next season. Or he could sit tight and wait for the UCI to change its mind on reflection - like it did with Astana.

Manxman Mark Cavendish may not be on the roster of new British team Sky but he's had an indirect positive effect on Dave Brailsford's men after it emerged that Scandinavians Edvald Boasson Hagen and Thomas Lovkvist left Columbia-HTC because of the team's emphasis on its two top sprinters, Cav and Andre Greipel.

Elsewhere, soup-spitter Paul Kimmage (interviewer of the year, no less) managed to write another navel-gazing piece about himself and just how good and clever he is when sending text messages, masquerading as an interview with Brailsford, in last weekend's Sunday Times.

And below, our own Paul Kimmage, Peter Joachim or James (or whatever pseudonym he's taking this week) will do the same, filling up the comment section with his tired tripe and bitter accusations, while we will press the thumbs-down button and think of something else, such as why is the French expression "etre de la pedale" used to denote homosexuality?

Follow Blazin' Saddles throughout the day on www.twitter.com/saddleblaze where you can suggest your best bike songs such as We Have All the Time in LeMond', I Can't Live Without Feillu' and Head Shoulders Theunisse and Toes'.

Felix Lowe / Eurosport

Comment 1 - 20 of 20

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  1. If Lampre does end up losing their license, it would be­ a coup for Martinelli to bring his former rider Cunego­ to Astana for a year.
    I saw stories from at least four­ different Radio Shack riders saying that Bruyneel had­ personally invited them to the team. That was while he­ was still "earning" an Astana paycheck. Also­ during that time he got a number of key riders out of­ their contracts, hired away staff, etc., probably from­ his office. He stayed with the team until most of the­ best riders had signed contracts elsewhere. I think­ Sanquer, Martinelli and the rest did a great job­ considering the obstacles they had to overcome in a­ short period of time. I think Alberto can win with­ Pereiro, De la Fuentes, Noval, Navarro, and the others­ dedicated to bring home another Tour.

    From John, on Wed 2 Dec 5:54AM
  2. Hey P, do you mean that Kelly "rode" for a­ Spanish team and what exactly are TRY bars?

    From tuggo, on Tue 1 Dec 11:09AM
  3. Doping is rife in cycling and it's ruining the­ sport. The sooner the cheats are smoked out the­ better.
    I don't know exactly what the doping­ procedure are but a starter for ten would be to test­ the first three riders over the line at the end of each­ stage.
    Then there would be little or no icentive to­ cheat.

    Also, extensive out of season testing on­ random and high profile riders.
    Riders who show large­ deviations in their performance over the season should­ be on the radar too.

    From xf8u39, on Mon 30 Nov 1:42PM
  4. why do think zaz zaz & kelly road for spanish­ teams? dodo

    From P, on Sun 29 Nov 4:50PM
  5. all athlets are doped, no only cyclists!!! i regret to­ say so....

    From Chili, on Sun 29 Nov 11:24AM
  6. Mike, I wasn't talking about the Spanish civil war,­ and yes I have read lot's of books about it,­ I've also visited some of the big battle sites like­ Guadalajarra etc and have some now very old Catalan­ friends who remember it well.
    Like it or not the kept­ out of World War 2 when they should have been in.

    From tuggo, on Sat 28 Nov 12:33AM
  7. 'Half asleep and thinking about lunch,', that­ sums up most of my reactions to the latest media quote­ from Mr Bruyneel, threatens to be insightful and­ interesting, then just...well...i might have a nice­ penne' pasta for lunch. As for the latest doping­ ring/controversy, maybe Eurosport could get Wiggo to­ write a column about them, or actually just one, ­ change the dates periodically and sign it­ 'reuters', because the stories drag out in the­ media (with little actual insight into the particular­ case) and courts for an eternity, and not much changes­ or gets done. Has BS bought his Cadel T-Shirt? and did­ you read his book?

    From Justin, on Fri 27 Nov 11:42PM
  8. Way to feed the trolls, BS.

    Give them coverage in­ Eurosport page, that'll make them go away!

    Well­ done, not.

    From Thomas, on Fri 27 Nov 9:49PM
  9. If there's no evidence against Valverde, then why­ hasn't he been formally cleared by the UCI and­ WADA. Juristiction is just an excuse. If the Spanish­ haven't got the guts to properly investigate their­ best rider, then I can undestand CONI being upset,­ because they are doing a much more comprehensive job,­ irrespective of profile and political fall-out.

    As­ for Kolobnev, he probably likes the idea of riding for­ a Russian team and they probably offered him a lot of­ money. CSC still have a number of good riders, but­ their season will be built around the Schlecks for the­ Tour and Cancellara in the Classics and TTs.

    From pedro118118, on Fri 27 Nov 3:59PM
  10. Pedro.. you may be right but things are so bad in­ cycling many accept an kind of accusation by anyone­ against a cyclist, as being true.. without a sgred of­ evidence being produced... Personally I like Valverde­ alot, but if they have the evidence and he is guilty­ then let him be punished according to the rules of the­ sport.

    Yes the Spanish were behind the others to some­ degree.. however from what I hear the laws regarding­ doping have been changed in Spain now.. and also that­ is no reason for CONI to think they can start punishing­ riders from outside of their jurusdication..

    ON A­ DIFFRENT POINT I wonder why Riis let Kolobnex go to­ Katusha... seems they are a bit short for the Classics

    From Shiek, on Fri 27 Nov 2:36PM
  11. Spain versus doping?? how exactly? Spain did not have­ any legislation against doping until a couple of years­ ago and the Spanish judiciary system has buried the­ whole operation puerto underground forbidding anybody­ to see the documents that were discovered. How is that­ fighting doping?

    From alexmn85, on Fri 27 Nov 1:18PM
  12. Shiek: "Stop mentioning Valverde.. he has nothing­ to do with­ this article.. and as I keep saying CONI­ has yet to­ produce evidence to the UCI of his being­ doped."
    Thats the true. Spain vs doping, Italy vs­ riders.

    Tuggo-- Dou know the Spanish Civil War??? It­ was a major conflict that devastated Spain from 17 July­ 1936 to 1 April 1939. The Spanish Civil War often­ pitted family members, neighbors, and friends against­ each other. Apart from the combatants, many civilians­ were killed for their political or religious views by­ both sides. Please: Stop posting about "stayed­ neutral". Read a history book, dude.

    From Mike, on Fri 27 Nov 11:00AM
  13. Hey, get off the Spanish backs. Everybody knows they­ are wonderful people, the best in the world at killing ­ drugged innocentt bulls etc and even in 1939 they­ stayed neutral when the Krauts were killing thousands­ of innocent Jewish people. As if they would allow­ their riders to use drugs, the idea is preposterous.­ VIVA ESPANA.

    From tuggo, on Fri 27 Nov 10:43AM
  14. Unfotunately (for him), Valverde's name is now­ automatically associated with doping allegations. I­ can't beleive that CONI are victimising the­ world's top rider without any justification. ­ Remember, CONI are not afraid to take positive action­ agains their own top riders - DiLuca, Rebellin, Ricco,­ Sella etc. Even their top sprinter, Pettachi, got a­ lengthy ban for what seemed like an innocent/accidental­ over use of an asthma inhaler (for which he had the­ requisite exemption I would add!). The Spanish­ authorities are burrying their heads in the sand.

    From pedro118118, on Fri 27 Nov 9:43AM
  15. LOL- "UCI finally approved the registration of the­ Astana team for 2010 - much to the dismay of Alberto­ Contador". Too true. Cheers, Blazin'­ Saddles.

    From p, on Fri 27 Nov 9:13AM
  16. Nice job BS----Everyone tired of hearing from James­ small Peter Joachhim. These repetitive negative­ accusations he hurles even had some of the other­ consistently negative commentors crying foul.

    From chad, on Thu 26 Nov 8:13PM
  17. Well said, Shiek, bravo

    From Jeremy, on Thu 26 Nov 7:21PM
  18. Hang on - isn't that comment meant for #bikesongs­ BS?

    From thingswelike1, on Thu 26 Nov 5:05PM
  19. Stop mentioning Valverde.. he has nothing to do with­ this article.. and as I keep saying CONI has yet to­ produce evidence to the UCI of his being doped.. if­ they had the UCI would have banned him worldwide.

    From Shiek, on Thu 26 Nov 5:00PM
  20. Wishing on a Star (na)?

    From therealblazinsaddles, on Thu 26 Nov 4:47PM
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