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As the year comes to a close, we look back on some of our favourite sporting quotes of 2008.

FOOTBALL

"My reputation will always precede me until the day I die. For some people that probably can't come quickly enough."

Newcastle United's Joey Barton concedes he is not the most popular boy in the Premier League schoolyard.

"He (the Pope) is not a bad lad. If it said 'God bless Myra Hindley', I might have a problem."

Gordon Strachan tries to use logic to defend the 'God bless the Pope' T-shirt that Artur Boruc wore during the Old Firm game - good luck with that!

"Unfortunately, the pie of the Premiership, the big pie which has all of a sudden become a massive pie, has got lots of money inside it."

Pie in the sky stuff from former Liverpool and Wales striker Dean Saunders as he goes all David Brent on us.

"I am the first, second and third best player in the world."

Cristiano Ronaldo - modest as ever.

"He's six-foot something, fit as a flea, good-looking - he's got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he's hung like a hamster! That would make us all feel better!"

Ian Holloway's wishful thinking about Mr Perfect Ronaldo

"What made it really obscene was that Madrid, as General Franco's club, had a history of being able to get whoever and whatever they wanted, before democracy came to Spain."

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson gets all political as Real Madrid continue their pursuit of Ronaldo.

"I've got more respect for Ferguson than anyone else in the game. He's like a Scouser, really. He's funny, doesn't mind telling people to **** off, and he even votes Labour. I love him."

Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher is a fan of Fergie's style.

"I have impressed upon them the advantages of a Mediterranean diet over ketchup and chips."

Fabio Capello delivers a crushing blow to Wayne Rooney.

"I was going to cut my hair the other week and if I had done we'd have lost 1-0, so hooray for afros."

Portsmouth goalkeeper David James owes a clean sheet against Newcastle to his afro after it makes a magnificent save to deny Michael Owen.

"I used to cramp up a lot as a player but that was mostly after I'd poured 15 pints of lager down my neck and I don't think Jermain is doing that."

Jermain Defoe is suffering from cramp, but not the 'old school' cramp Portsmouth boss Tony Adams would ache from.

"They would do really well. I'm sure they would get a point!"

'Let's all laugh at Tottenham' - Cesc Fabregas gets in on the act and claims Arsenal ladies are as good as Spurs. A 4-4 draw by his boys a few days later leaves him with egg on his face.

"He speaks better Italian than me and I was born here."

Gennaro Gattuso of Milan on Jose Mourinho's first news conference as Inter boss. He would make you sick that Mourinho wouldn't he?

"Charles dreamt I had an affair with Steve Coppell. I said to him, 'Thanks a lot! You might have made it Mourinho!'"

Even the lovely Nigella Lawson wants a piece of Mr Mourinho, although her husband dreams of other things.

"I wouldn't trust some of these people to walk my dog."

Roy Keane is not a fan of TV pundits, leaving his future job prospects limited if he gives up management for good.

"As the Prime Minister I have to be balanced and collected but on Thursday night I wanted to kill."

No it is not Gordon Brown talking about bankers, but Polish PM Donald Tusk putting the boot into English referee Howard Webb after he awarded an injury-time penalty that allowed Austria to snatch a 1-1 draw at Euro 2008.

"We plan to send him (Barack Obama) a letter of congratulations and invite him to come to a game at Upton Park the next time he is in London."

We suspect accepting the invitation from Mike Lee, director of West Ham United, is not top of the new US President's to-do list.

"We went for a walk before the game and a bird dumped right on my head. They say that can be a lucky omen - and it was!"

Barnsley's superstitious manager Simon Davey after his side dumped Liverpool out of the FA Cup.

"Our season is not beyond my wildest dreams - because they usually involve Elle Macpherson."

Hull chairman Paul Duffen's admits that Premier League glory is not quite his ultimate fantasy.

"I must thank God for this success. Credit also goes to Steve Bruce."

Wigan striker Amr Zaki hails the big man for his scoring prowess - and throws in a thank you to God for good measure too.

"In my opinion, no owner in their right mind would willingly invite an average agent into his academy any more than a brothel owner would let a syphilitic nutter into his whorehouse."

Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan turns all poetic.

"I should have punched him harder."

Eric Cantona is a man of few regrets, but he still wishes he had got a proper dig in before his infamous kung-fu incident at Crystal Palace.

"Paolo Maldini can say he has done it all now."

Portsmouth striker Peter Crouch welcomes the news that Milan are coming to Fratton Park.

"A homosexual cannot do the job of a footballer. The football world is not designed for them, it's a special atmosphere, one in which you stand naked under the showers."

Former Juventus managing director Luciano Moggi proves that Sergio Berlusconi does not have a monopoly in Italy when it comes to idiotic remarks.

"I don't follow football, I just love the name Aston Villa. Here in England you have other footballing entities like Manchester and Arsenal and Chelsea...and here's Aston Villa! What suburb of Rome is Aston Villa from?!"

Oscar winning actor Tom Hanks instantly becomes the most pointless celebrity fan ever!

OLYMPICS

"Ping pong was invented on the dining tables of England in the 19th century and it was called whiff whaff. Other nations - the French - looked at a dining table and saw an opportunity to have dinner. We looked at a dining table and saw an opportunity to play whiff whaff."

London Mayor Boris Johnson introduces himself to a confused and baffled world at the closing ceremony in Beijing.

"I never had breakfast. I woke up around 11, I watched television and then I had some [chicken] nuggets for lunch. I went back to my room, I slept for two hours, I went back for some more nuggets and came to the track."

Jamaica's Usain Bolt on what it takes to smash the 100m world record.

"I was in the laundry and I realised I was standing right next to [Rafael] Nadal. I didn't bother him but he was shoving all his colours and whites in together. I really wanted to say, 'Dude, you're going to have a nightmare with that. You can't just put the whole bag in - there are reds in with whites'. But what can you do?"

British cyclist Jamie Staff, who won gold in the team sprint, reveals how Nadal missed his mammy in Beijing.

"I was promised some Jimmy Choo shoes if I win, so that's one pair... and my mum's promised to get me another pair of Christian Louboutin shoes."

Shoes are more important than gold medals, according to double Olympic champion Rebecca Adlington.

FORMULA ONE

"Where's Timo? I want to give him a kiss."

Anthony Hamilton feels the love for Timo Glock after the German's late fade in Brazil allowed son Lewis to win the world championship

"It's about the driver with the biggest balls who can get closest to the barriers."

How to win a world championship - by Lewis Hamilton.

"Just how many people play Formula One?"

English Cricket Board chairman Giles Clarke gives his two cents in the battle of the boring sports.

"I saw the red light and chose to stop. Unfortunately someone saw the red light and chose not to stop."

Kimi Raikkonen with a sly dig at Hamilton after the Canadian GP

"I am going to kick 10 colours of **** out of that little *******!"

David Coulthard with a not-so-sly dig at Felipe Massa following the Australian GP.

CRICKET

"He will believe he can be the best captain ever. He's that kind of bloke."

Andrew Flintoff gives us an insight into the mind of Kevin Pietersen.

"I think she was planning to go to the winery on Sunday so now she can go and get as lashed as she wants - and I'll give her some cash for it as well!"

After hitting a 129 in New Zealand, Pietersen rewards his wife Jessica for sitting through the whole innings.

"I thought he was being a bit of a Drogba."

Paul Collingwood admits his initial suspicious after Ian Bell injured his knee during a game of touch rugby.

"I haven't got many secrets so was happy to talk to Monty - although two hours was may be a little long!"

New Zealand skipper Daniel Vettori reveals that Monty Panesar would not be the man he would most like to be stuck in a lift with.

TENNIS

"Hate is a very strong word - I just despise her to the maximum level just below hate. I'm going to serve it right at the body, about 128 (mph), right into her midriff. If she's not crying by the time she comes off court then I did not do my job.''

Former player and senior ATP official Justin Gimelstob looks forward to an exhibition match with Anna Kournikova. But wait, there is more.....

"She is a sexpot (Tatiana Golovin). She's a little sexpot (Alize Cornet). She's a well-developed young lady (Nicole Vaidisova). She has a great body but her face is a five (Kournikova again)"

Oh Justin! Have you got a closing remark for us?

"There are fewer lesbians now because they're all Russian chicks. And there's some other cute ones out there."

Surprisingly he was forced to apologise.

"I am going to a McDonald's - that's always my treat after I win or lose. I'll have cheeseburger and small fries. In the States I have a kids' meal but here I mix it up because I love curry sauce, which we don't have at home. It's my special treat."

Forget money or fame, here is what really motivates American Venus Williams.

RUGBY

"He's a warrior, we're about to find out now, can he play chess?"

Sir Clive Woodward gets all metaphorical as he looks forward to the Martin Johnson era.

"We need to put New Zealand where they haven't been for some time - under pressure."

Johnson rallies the troops ahead of England's clash with the All Blacks at Twickenham. Hmmm, how did that work out then?

MOTO GP

"If Brad Pitt wants to be me for a couple of days then I wouldn't mind being him. He can ride my Yamaha and I'll spend some time with Angelina!"

Cheeky Valentino Rossi admits he would like to spend some time riding something other than a bike.

GOLF

"I have to put it on my sandwich list. If you see five cheeses next to it then he could be in, four tunas means four matches and chicken is three matches, lettuce is two."

European Ryder Cup captain Nick Faldo tries, and fails, to be funny after his pairings were snapped by a sharp-eyed photograph.

"I do get annoyed of course, but then I just beat the s*** out of my golf bag. I do it all the time, it is just that they do not have a camera on me all the time!"

Boo Weekly admits he is lucky not to get Faldo's level of attention.

"This has been the ultimate rollercoaster ride - and I hate rollercoasters."

South African Trevor Immelman talks about the miserable experience of winning the Masters.

BOXING

"At the moment you have one fat guy fighting an even fatter guy for the world title. It's a disgrace."

David Haye minces his words as always when talking about the heavyweight boxing division.

"My dad always taught me to respect my elders, but the old man's going to get battered on Saturday night for 12 rounds."

Old man Joe Calzaghe explains what he is going to do to slightly older man Bernard Hopkins.

SNOOKER

"Do you want to suck that? Do you want to come and suck on that later? Anyone want to give me a nosh? Suck my ****."

Ronnie O'Sullivan sends a China Open press conference off in strange and scary directions.

"If you are ever feeling down or blue or annoyed with life, just watch that. At least you are not Michael Holt. You will walk out of there doing cartwheels."

Holt reveals the public service he performed after surrending a 4-0 lead before losing 5-4 to Robert Milkins at the Bahrain Championship.

Compiled by Seán Fay / Eurosport