Tour de France - Blazin' Saddles: Strong as a butterfly

Eurosport - Mon, 27 Jul 13:55:00 2009

With a podium position secured on his return to the sport, Lance Armstrong flew into Paris on butterfly wings on Sunday.

CYCLING 2009 Tour de France Lance Armstrong with Damien Hirst-designed bike - 0

The 37-year-old American chose the Tour's final stage to showcase a special commissioned bicycle designed by the world-renowned, money-grabbing artist Damian Hirst.

Asking Hirst to design a bike for a professional cyclist was always a bit of a gamble; which rider in their right mind would want to mount a formaldehyde-preserved shark upon the Champs Elysees, or to have a slice of cow festooned upon his bike frame?

But the laws of aerodynamics were not going to stand between Hirst changing his winning formula of incorporating dead creatures into his expensive 'artistic' masterpieces.

In a move which animal rights groups have decreed as "horrific barbarity" and which Blazin' Saddles describes as "a good fund-raiser but beyond that utterly pointless", the "one-trick pony" artist Hirst covered the frame and wheels of Armstrong's bike with the real wings of hundreds of dead butterflies - bred specifically for him and designed to shimmer in the sunlight.

For a man whose whole ethos pivots around the struggle for and prolonging of life, it was a potential PR fiasco for the record seven-times winner of the Tour, who apparently agreed on the idea after downing a can of Red Bull.

And yet Armstrong quickly rode out the storm when it was (not) discovered that leading French riders in the peloton were using duck liver pate as lubrication to prevent saddle sore, whilst one unnamed team even used caterpillars - that is, pre-winged butterflies - as extra grip in their tyres.

JOY OF SIX: In the most unexpected turn of events since Danilo Di Luca retro-actively tested positive for CERA, Britain's Mark Cavendish romped home in Paris to take a sixth stage win in this year's Tour.

Despite the best efforts of rival US team Garmin-Slipstream, whose riders managed to jostle onto the front of the peloton on the Rue de Rivoli, Mark Renshaw and Cav held their nerve to deliver an imperious one-two on the cobbles of Paris, underlining Columbia-HTC's utter domination on the flat this July.

BS has lampooned both Cav and Lance throughout the race - primarily to provoke readers and spark a bit of debate - but even this narrow-minded and oft-blinkered cycling commentator can recognise achievement when he sees it.

So, BS would like to say 'Chapeau' to both Armstrong and Cavendish. Maybe next year they might put a little more elbow grease into it and win yellow and green respectively?

A FEW QUOTES OF THE TOUR: "Cadel Evans's attack (on the second Pyrenean stage) was like the last cigarette of a condemned man." If Cyril Guimard's assertion was true then the remaining 10 days of the Tour could be seen as the Australian's slow and painful execution. Where he will be resurrected next season is anyone's guess, but BS bets his days at Silence-Lotto are as over as Denis Menchov's chances of being a stand-up comedian.

"Tomorrow's stage is going to be more of a brothel." Bradley Wiggins' prediction for the Tour's queen stage to Le Grand Bornand set the heart-rate of many German supporters into overdrive.

"It was simple, follow Wiggins and follow Frank Schleck." Armstrong's game plan for Mont Ventoux shows just how much Wiggo has come on as a rider since the American's initial retirement.

BIGGEST REGRET: For someone who has two white jerseys and a runners-up berth to his name, Andy Schleck has somehow forgotten to pick up a stage along the way. Maybe if he wasn't so concerned with his brother Frank he could have won atop the Giant of Provence. It was there for the taking, but the whippet let it go.

BEST GIFT: When Contador rode to an epic win in the ski resort of Verbier he was awarded a real, live, breathing St Bernard dog as a prize. Let's hope we never see the dog's name emblazoned across a bag of blood in the future.

Blazin' Saddles will continue on Eurosport.yahoo.com beyond the Tour on a weekly basis and 24/7 on www.twitter.com/saddleblaze.

Felix Lowe / Eurosport

Comment 26 - 45 of 45

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  1. janbblondon would Armstrong have done anything for­ cancer research if he hadn't contracted it himself?­ Seeing how self-centred he was over the past month, I­ think NOT!

    From richardsnoel86, on Thu 30 Jul 1:59PM

  2. sorry pedro(#42)i am not a lance fan by any means ,but­ to say he is not a great of the sport takes alot of­ credibility away.merckx is without doubt the greatest­ of all time ,but 7 wins in the tour makes you a­ great.

    just hope contador stays fit enough to make it­ 8 wins

    From fletchico40, on Wed 29 Jul 11:04PM

  3. chem452002 (#27): I do not know how you dare to say­ that Vuelta was not fun... You did not see Pino,­ Delgado, Kelly, or Olano win it. No "expert"­ has told it to me: I watched every Vuelta every year,­ dude, and I loved it!

    From hobbestiger73, on Tue 28 Jul 11:38PM

  4. chem452002 (#27): in the early 90's the VUELTA was­ BEFORE TdF. Talk is cheap, guy, and it looks like you­ never watched cycling before Armstrong, or at least,­ you are starting to see the new Dr in your hospital, Dr­ Alzheimer.... LOL!!!

    From hobbestiger73, on Tue 28 Jul 11:34PM

  5. In terms of greatness, Lance Armstrong may only be a­ great Tour de France rider, but he is also a person who­ does a lot of great things outside of cycling and uses­ cycling to help greater causes, which makes him greater­ than he would be if he had won every race in the­ cycling calendar.

    From loriblack18, on Tue 28 Jul 5:17PM

  6. All this talk of 'greatness' needs some­ perspective. Lance Armstrong was great at winning the­ Tour de France. He was (is?!) obsessed with it and­ everything else is done in preperation for the Tour. ­ He will go down in history as a great Tour rider, but­ certainly not up there with the greats of cycling, such­ as Merckx, Hinault, Coppi etc.

    From pedro118118, on Tue 28 Jul 5:01PM

  7. Delwigzie (34), I am afraid you dismiss the fact that­ Armstrong has had serious fight against labs of France­ acusing him of having had performance enhancing drugs,­ and Contador does not. Talk is cheap, guy!

    By the way,­ is that a bike or a school collage work? It is a bit­ weird, isn't it?

    From hobbestiger73, on Tue 28 Jul 12:50PM

  8. I think Contador's biggest regret of the Tour will­ prove to be waiting for the back-stabbing Armstrong on­ Ventoux. He should have gone on with A.Schleck and­ fought for the most prestigious win of his career.
    He­ stayed back to "help" a guy that went off to­ another party on whilst Astana celebrated their win.

    From ffogil, on Tue 28 Jul 12:23PM

  9. U guys should be crazy " Contador was a very poor­ team mate", what do u want? U want Contador to­ sacrifice him self for Lance? Ohhh for u a good team­ mate is guys like Himcapie who die for Lance? Please­ stop those nonsense, Lance takes what he gives...

    From black_portugal, on Tue 28 Jul 12:03AM

  10. delwigzie, you talk nonsense. History will show­ Armstrong as better in terms of tactics and politics.­ Contador is just way ahead in terms of pure talent.

    From webbski, on Mon 27 Jul 5:42PM

  11. Blazin, over the top as usual.
    Lance has class and­ made it all worth while for me and many. Love the­ Damien Hirst butterfly decorated bike and hope it­ brings in a bundle at auction for Livestrong. There is­ no cyclist in history who has done what Lance Armstrong­ has for cancer research, let alone cycling.
    Oh and by­ the way, the only test that Lance tested postive for,­ was cancer.

    From janbblondon, on Mon 27 Jul 4:03PM

  12. Was only stating an opinion H C. No need to be such a­ c&%£ about it.

    From ian.mcnicholas, on Mon 27 Jul 3:59PM
  13. Comment hidden due to its low rating. Show

    7 WINS ON THE BOUNCE AND A PODIUM FINISH AT THE AGE OF­ 38 AND HAS NOT RODE THE TOUR FOR THREE YEARS.LANCE­ ARMSTRONG "YOU ARE BRILLIANT" CONTRADOR WAS A­ VERY POOR TEAM MATE

    From delwigzie, on Mon 27 Jul 3:51PM
  14. Comment hidden due to its low rating. Show

    CONTRADOR WONT ANSWER QUESTIONS ON DOPING ?ARMSTRONG IS­ THE BEST TOUR RIDER IN HISTORY AND THAT IS FACT PEOPLE

    From delwigzie, on Mon 27 Jul 3:48PM

  15. Yep. Don't know what to do with myself today. Go­ for a ride and look forward to the Vuelta I guess.

    From jimi_knight, on Mon 27 Jul 3:48PM

  16. TO ALL OF YOU CYCLING NERDS OUT THERE! :-)
    Dont you­ hate the day after TDF? You miss the talks, the­ arguments, the commentators, the circus of TDF. We all­ have said bitter things in the heat of the moment, as­ fans. Even rivals like MARK CAVENENDISH AND T HUSHOVD­ leave as friends at the end of the tour.
    SO I WISH ALL­ OF YOU GOOD LUCK!!!!
    SEE YOU NEXT YEAR.

    From chem452002, on Mon 27 Jul 2:51PM

  17. marcuspaine wrote "Can someone explain to me why­ when Cav won by at least­ 30m the front guys were all­ given the same time?

    I heard on the tv that on the­ last stage there is no time difference recorded in the­ last 3km of the race

    From Duncan, on Mon 27 Jul 2:48PM
  18. Comment hidden due to its low rating. Show

    Ian McNicholas
    "I'd­ say he's proved his­ point."

    By not winning anything - He didn't­ even win a stage

    CONTADOR did though - TWICE

    Read­ the FACTS in front of you SCHUMCK

    From H C, on Mon 27 Jul 2:48PM

  19. Some of you, I dont know if it is because you are­ relatively new cycling fans (max 6 yrs) or you are­ young (born after 1985). You just say things that makes­ me shake my head. IF YOU THINK SOME OF THE THINGS I AM­ SAYING IS NOT TRUE, please send e-mail to DAVID­ HARMON,( he is Brit Eurosport commentator, cycling).­
    1. "Armstrong just concentrated on winning the­ tour..."?
    a- Big TV stations like Eurosport WERE­ NOT even sure if they want to show live VUELTA ( TOUR­ OF SPAIN) in early 90s. In some cases we had to wait­ till Aug to be sure. It was boring to watch in the­ early 90s , I must admit because most top cyclists­ ditched VUELTA. We all wanted Vuelta to be popular but­ cyclists excuse was " we are tired after TDF­ etc"
    b- BIG MIG, ditched VUELTA many times. At one­ point he got a lot critics NOT ONLY from his country­ Spain but also from top people in Cycling. The argument­ was " If you dont help in making VUELTA popular,­ who else will?". When critics became huge INDURAIN­ decided to do VUELTA.. I saw INDURAIN with my own eyes­ abandoning VUELTA in some stage and went directly to a­ hotel.
    c- VUELTA has attracted som top cyclist like­ JALABERT, ROMINGER etc but it wasnt fun because their­ main rivals ditched it to concentrate on some classics.­
    d. MERCKX is a Cycling giant but cycling is different­ now. Did you see MENCHOV, a lion in GIRO 2009 looked­ like a club cyclist in TDF 2009. Go look at his­ interview, he came to TDF to do the same thing.
    SO­ PLEASE, THINK BEFORE YOU POST THINGS. PEOPLE WHO KNOW A­ LOT ABOUT CYCLING MAY NOT SAY BAD THINGS BUT THEY READ­ YOUR COMMENTS.

    From chem452002, on Mon 27 Jul 2:39PM

  20. I hadn't realised he come back to prove a point. ­ He won the thing 7 times that would have done it for­ me. I thought it was all about Livestrong.

    From si1268, on Mon 27 Jul 1:48PM
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