Premier League - Transfer Talk: Little and large

Eurosport - Wed, 27 Aug 19:38:00 2008

African-American poet Maya Angelou put it best when she said, "Diversity makes for a rich tapestry", but little did she know Mark Hughes would base his Manchester City blueprint on her verse.

FOOTBALL Chelsea Shaun Wright-Phillips Luiz Felipe Scolari - 0

Not content with attempting to prise giant fat man Ronaldo from an all-night Krispy Kreme in Milan, Angelou fan Hughes is now closing in on a £9 million deal for the delightfully diminutive Shaun Wright-Phillips.

If Chelsea take an £11m loss on the England winger as expected, good old Robinho's move to the Bridge could finally happen - ending a saga so painfully dull it has led to three Eurosport-Yahoo! journalists chewing their arms off in frustration.

The price tag on the Robster is a meagre £28m, the bulk of which will help Real Madrid cut their outstanding debts to a manageable £897 trillion.

Another player being linked to the Premier League's equivalent of Paris Hilton - ubiquitous, disgustingly rich and vacuous - is Seville striker Luis Fabiano, who would provide the Robster with a little taste of home.

Then there's Kaka, who may be tempted by a £200k/week offer from the Blues, but whose strong affiliation to Jesus would surely be challenged by life under Peter Kenyon.

Away from the Dark Lord, Everton, the Premier equivalent of The Feeling - bland, predictable and reminiscent of an outfit from the late 70s - are tracking Guinean defender Kamil Zayatte.

The 23-year-old currently plies his trade for Swiss side Young Boys Bern, a club whose website must surely attract some undesirable attention, and a figure of £2.5m has been plucked from the ether.

On to Wigan, the Premier League equivalent of Les Dennis (that one needs no explanation), who are attempting to snare South Korean international Chu-Young Park from FC Seoul with an offer of £2.5m plus a £15 voucher for JJB Sports.

Robbie Fowler next, who is doing a decent impression of Bez from the Happy Mondays by dancing around pointlessly at Blackburn asking for a full contract. There are football teams in Asia and Australia Robert, who will pay you LOTS OF MONEY. Put down the breadsticks.

Finally, what kind of TT would be complete without a mention of Dimitar Berbatov, the Premier League equivalent of a whore, who is being threatened with the cold shoulder by his Tottenham team-mates.

It is just TT, or does the idea of Jermaine Jenas, Jonathan Woodgate and Co. refusing to talk to you sound rather pleasant?

Will Tidey / Eurosport

Comment 56 - 75 of 75

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  1. "The price tag on the Robster is a meagre £28m, the bulk of which will help Real Madrid cut their outstanding debts to a manageable £897 trillion."

    somebody got paid to write this article? £897 trillion? ridiculous...is there even this much money in the entire world? even as a typo the writer is 100% wrong. real madrid aren't in debt by £897 billion...nor are they in debt by £897 million. maybe he meant "million" and also meant "$" real madrid's debt might be close to $897 million. either way, sack this idiot.

    From Carlan, on Fri 10 Jul 9:40PM

  2. 'Finally, what kind of TT would be complete without a mention of Dimitar Berbatov, the Premier League equivalent of a whore'........what kind of comment is that? Legal deep water Will Tidy, if I'm not much mistaken, should Mr Berbatov read & consider your words!

    From BOB, on Thu 28 Aug 7:23AM

  3. Actually I agree with you sammy_jb_uk that yahoo has a responsibility to monitor and delete the comments from these abusive people who leave nothing but profanities littering their pages. However, yahoo is the same as facebook for example. They say they have a policy on abusive e-mails and flaming and things like that but in reality they don't do anything. One reason for this I think is that no matter how abusive an e-mail, yahoo and facebook still make money when it is posted. And the flamer encourages people to flame back or at least respond so more money is made by these corporate giants... It would be nice if we could have a laugh and a discussion without all the brainless zombies butting in but my personal opinion is that this is not in the interests of these unethical companies. Yahoo has got lots of experience of censoring, for example, check out Chinese yahoo. There's not much to search for on that search engine. ..
    So do you think they could censor abusive postings. Very easily but it will cost them money so it won't happen...

    From tri_mur, on Thu 28 Aug 4:10AM

  4. short and sweet today i guess

    From pj10130, on Wed 27 Aug 8:09PM

  5. Or maybe buy Zigic and put him in defence. Yeah, put him in defence, and buy Couch. Quality centre backs. You get me?

    From Tom, on Wed 27 Aug 7:48PM

  6. Buy Shay Given on the wing. The nippy little 'fiddly dee' would be mint.

    From Tom, on Wed 27 Aug 7:47PM

  7. Then buy Mido and put him in goal. Proper quality, doooood.

    From Tom, on Wed 27 Aug 7:47PM

  8. Maybe buy Van der Sar too. Van der Sar and Cech up front. What a strike force.

    From Tom, on Wed 27 Aug 7:47PM

  9. Better still, put Cech up front. Cross in them in from th flanks, and he can fist them in to the oppositions goal. He's a keeper in the box, so it won't be hand ball.

    From Tom, on Wed 27 Aug 7:46PM

  10. Sell Shevchenko and Drogba, and buy Middlesbrough keeper Brad Jones. Put him up front. He'll be on fire.

    From Tom, on Wed 27 Aug 7:45PM

  11. What most chelsea fans don't realise is that it's all good until Abrahmovich gets his passport and launders a few more quid.
    But when he's off Chelsea will have BIG OLD DEBTS again, not to mention the inability to pay these extortionate salaries.

    From franklamas73, on Wed 27 Aug 7:06PM

  12. buy all u can chelsea, in the end u'll still gonna get ur fat mgr fired at the end of season cz not winning anything... hahhahahahah... so better win something or else... loser

    From Bali Tenno, on Wed 27 Aug 6:56PM

  13. a lot of people don't realise that chelsea has 2 top class hotels, a block of appartments rented out for squillions of pounds and a football ground in the middle of the most sought after land in the world we can buy anyone we are not in debt in fact if chelsea wrote a cheque the bank would bounce.

    From andyblackham1, on Wed 27 Aug 6:42PM

  14. a couple of funny comments (re kaka and kenyon, and young boys bern) but not the best TT i've ever read... i just think the humour is a bit samey and predictable!

    From Stu, on Wed 27 Aug 6:00PM

  15. s.w.p already said he is not going to city. When did city ever make a bid for ronaldo?

    From BallsDeep, on Wed 27 Aug 5:55PM

  16. great talk and thanks to ZEVASTI for starting it :D i support you zevasti anyway ;)

    From jurgistan, on Wed 27 Aug 5:06PM

  17. Couldn't agree more with Garagehead and HughSpurling, I've always thought that people who feel the need to let loose with the swearing and abuse on comments pages like this are nothing short of cowards, who probably wouldn't dream of talking to someone like that face-to-face. Sad, sad people. However, does anyone else agree that Yahoo bear a responsibility to monitor and police these idiots and their worthless opinions? I tend not to bother leaving comments anymore just because of the illiterate, uneducated morons who, without the basic spelling or grammar skills that should be taken for granted, get in the way of the rest of us having a serious yet light-hearted debate about ED's always amusing articles.

    From sam, on Wed 27 Aug 4:59PM

  18. WILL TIDEY IS THE MAN

    From MACA, on Wed 27 Aug 4:24PM

  19. EXCELLENT! ESCPECIALLY THE BERBATOV COMPARISON! KEEP IT UP

    From MACA, on Wed 27 Aug 4:23PM

  20. brilliant & funny

    From Segun, on Wed 27 Aug 4:04PM
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