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In a year that saw Manchester United win a domestic and European double, Spain finally win something, and a languid, yam-eating joker lollop to multiple sprinting world records, all Gossip Shop cared about was the tittle-tattle of the rumour mill.

And boy was there tittle-tattle, none more spectacular than the seemingly unfounded nonsense that was actually realised.

Much of this came thanks to the comically-loaded Arabs who accompanied the Manchester City circus. One moment Mark Hughes was looking at Roque Santa Cruz and Craig Bellamy and then BOOM! Kaka and Fernando Torres are in line for a move to Eastlands.

This made for some nail-biting fun on transfer-deadline day, especially when City appeared to have gazumped bitter rivals (and bigger club) Manchester United to the signature of Dimitar Berbatov, only for the sultry Bulgarian to dig his heels and - against Tottenham's wishes - travel to United in a blacked-out limo like it was Reagan's 80s.

Still, they managed to beat Chelsea to Robinho. Gulp. Although with the deliciously unbalanced City in the drop zone at Christmas, 'Sparky' has reverted to type and is lining up... Bellamy and Santa Cruz. Again.

Back to Robinho: one of the cuter rumours about the Andi Peters/Marcelo look-a-like was that he takes the bus to training every day and learns English from Coronation Street.

Given that his mother was once kidnapped by gangsters for money, security is a big issue in the Brazil forward's camp, which knocked bus-gate on the head. The second lie was denied on account of good old-fashioned cultural snobbery. "Very funny. Ha ha ha ha. Ha. Ha," he told the Guardian.

As ever, the most oft-circulated rumours came from the bullring of bulls**t that is the Spanish city of Madrid. The pattern went something like this:

'Spaniards want top-class midfielder from American-owned Premier League club.

'Unable to meet demands of cash-rich yanks, Spaniards get exisiting player to exhibit pangs of lust through media.

'When this fails, desperate coach gets involved only to be told "shove it" by straight-talking British (but not English) manager, whose first real success came in Scotland.'

Whether it was Real Madrid's stalkerish pursuit of Cristiano Ronaldo, or Rafa Benitez's Liverpool cosying up to Gareth Barry, the tale of British obstinance in the face of Spanish wooing proved a wearily familiar tale. And the well-worn theme looks set to continue into 2009 with Real trying to prise Ashley Young from Villa.

Martin O'Neill's decision to strip Barry of the captaincy and give Benitez a piece of his finely-tuned mind was a piece of defiant brilliance, and will give Young pause for thought before he starts revealing how his Spanish pen pal bought him a Real Madrid duvet cover when he was a kid.

As for Ronaldo, he was staying, he was going, he was not-even-really-knowing... Easy as it is to despise the perma-tanned, grinning winker, one had to feel a degree of sympathy for a young man being hurled to-and-fro like a scantily-clad floozy on the Benny Hill Show.

Even after he vowed to stay, they tried it on, like a Frenchman in a Paris bistro hitting on a man's wife while he takes aim with a bar-stool. In the end, Fergie said he "wouldn't even sell them a virus", won the Club World Cup and the world laughed as Madrid bid for Jermaine Pennant. To quote Robinho: "Ha ha ha ha. Ha. Ha."

Despite the histrionics, the Barry and Ronaldo rumours were hardly ridiculous.

Ridiculous was Samuel Eto'o being announced as Uzbek runners-up Bunyokdor's big summer signing, a move which was dead before it even hit the water as Barcelona laughed off what was clearly a PR stunt. (Although Bunyokdor did sign Rivaldo , a move marginally more ridiculous than Cafu's impending switch to Yorkshire non-leaguers Garforth Town.)

Ridiculous was Thailand manager Peter Reid returning to ambitious, big-spending Sunderland after Roy Keane walked.

Ridiculous was Internazionale boss Jose Mourinho quitting the Serie A leaders for the vacant jobs at struggling Newcastle United and Tottenham.

Ridiculous was Germany and Stuttgart striker Mario Gomez going to Fulham, although his Euro 2008 form suggests it was a lucky escape for the Lilywhites, despite a return of five goals in 17 matches from their strikers.

Less ridiculous was the report that Arsenal's Spanish keeper Manuel Almunia was set to take up British nationality in an attempt to play for England.

Rio Ferdinand pooh-poohed it on the grounds of Englishness - conveniently forgetting that his national team boss is Italian, his club paymasters American, and international and club team-mate Owen Hargreaves Canadian (or German?) and his father St Lucian.

Fans pooh-poohed it on the grounds of basic quality, but cringed every time David James mimed the Britney Spears hit 'Oops, I did it again', usually while wearing those Three Lions.

Other recurring chit-chat was Frank Lampard's reunion with Mourinho at Inter, while the vacant manager's job at Newcastle was pitched as being perfect for Alan Shearer, Terry Venables, Gus Poyet, David O'Leary and, um, Kevin Keegan .

Samba stud Vagner Love's proposed move to Everton was resurrected following injuries to all their strikers, while the early weeks of 2009 promise some Ealing-esque comedy as Manchester City press the panic button and shell out one billion dollars for Kaka, Gianluigi Buffon and that big fella from Hoffenheim who's scoring all the goals.

But who knows what will happen next? One thing's for sure: Gossip Shop will publicise, ridicule and eat humble pie to all of it.

Reda Maher / Eurosport