Three of Blazin's Saddles's ex-girlfriends are now married: one hitched a fellow teacher, another to the brother of a guy we were at school with, and a third hit the jackpot and got spliced to a rich Italian banker and moved to Australia.
BS knows just how hard it can be when a loved one moves on to pastures new and flaunts all their new-found happiness and success right in your face. So, BS has nothing but compassion for Garmin boss Jonathan Vaughters (pictured), for whom Bradley Wiggins's departure to Team Sky has hit like a marital breakdown.
Just days after Wiggo upped ship to the British-based money machine that is Team Sky, Vaughters was advising his followers on Twitter that it's "cheaper to drink at home, by yourself, alone".
Then over Christmas - at a time when the world is meant to be joyous and content - JV was at it again, telling all and sundry that he was "in a funk" and asking to "supersize that Prozac".
And as the cold front hit the UK over the last few days, it seems that Vaughters's heart is still iced over by being dumped by his old partner.
Stuck at Heathrow and waiting for a plane to Paris - BS would suggest taking the Eurostar, but its recent track record with the white stuff is as good as Tom Boonen's - Vaughters erupted with yet another lament: "First, Brad Wiggins, now SNOW!!! What does England have against me???!"
Yes, BS knows just how he feels. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Everything you see and do reminds you of an episode shared, a gift offered or received, a common memory now irreversibly soured by the thought that the other person is now experiencing all those things with fresh blood.
"Well, I've had time to go shopping at Paul Smith at the airport," Vaughters tweeted before adding, with a virtual sigh: "Brad gave me a pair of pink Paul Smith socks once. . . Bwaaahhh. . . :( . . . Sniff."
JV will get over it. We all usually do in time. Soon he'll no doubt follow Saddles's lead and cosy up to some ex or another. Christian Vande Velde - you have been warned!
QUOTE OF LAST WEEK: "I am impressed by [Alberto] Contador the athlete but it stops there for me. He felt I was an infringement on his territory. We never had dinner together. Probably never will. But I don't give a s**t. I have a great life. I'll try my best to win. If he wins this year, so be it," Lance Armstrong opens up to a Dutch TV crew in a new documentary on his comeback last year.
The Texan couldn't hold back from sticking in the knife regarding his Spanish rival's predicament at the much-weakened Team Astana, reminding us that "eight of the nine riders who rode the Tour, have gone away. To another team. Even his roommate."
POST: JANUARY 6