having a haircut Jennifer Aniston would be proud of, Mohammad Aamer still
managed to see through his floppy locks to run through the England middle order
like a knife through butter before Stuart Broad and Johnny Trott staged a
prodigious 18-year-old, aka the floppy-haired assassin, absolutely obliterated
the England middle order, who appeared to be playing French cricket as they
tentatively wafted their sticks of willow at his dizzying array of rapid
were Aamer-ed in the morning as Kevin 'I'm atrociously out of nick' Pietersen,
Paul 'I was never in nick' Collingwood and Eoin 'check out my strike rate'
Morgan all fell in what was a steady procession of quacking ducks.
floppy-haired, middle parting-sporting seamer ran through the England middle
order like a heavy roller to join the illustrious company of Shahadat Hossain,
Fidel Edwards and Heath Streak on the Lord's honours board.
a day of listening to Graeme Swann regaling everyone with cat stories and
assorted Timmy Bresnan-related anecdotes, the England camp were keen to swap
their decks of cards and dart board for their sticker-emblazoned slabs of
willow. But they did not stay out in the middle for long, before they were
throwing their cherry-printed pads at bowling coach David Saker in the dressing
Cook spent most of day one either stood at the oche (well, Broad's copy of
Cosmo magazine, to be more precise) or sitting an agitated Trott down on his
seat to stop the batsman marking an imaginary guard outside the showers. The
Essex man's day lasted six balls.
Trott had David Steele in his eyes as he set up camp at the crease and refused
to budge, as if in protest at the changing room antics which defined day one,
and the Warwickshire man reached 1000 Test runs en route to his unbeaten 149.
unerring record partnership of 244 runs with Stuart Broad was truly epic as the
pair caused Salman Butt's theatrical team huddles to be conducted in
increasingly despondent and frantic fashion.
showed the frontline batsmen how to wield the willow without impersonating a
slip cradle, and the lanky 'former all-rounder' reminded everyone again of his
ability with a slab of wood in his hands as he ended on 125 at stumps.
Notts man became only the third England number nine to make it to three figures
after Gubby Allen and John Murray, and served as proof that Andy Flower has a
deeper batting line up than Duncan Fletcher had, even when he was picking spinners
purely for their ability to block off the back foot (Ashley Giles).
surpassing Allen's 122 back in 1931, Broad secured the top spot for an England
number nine and moved past his father Chris as he emulated his partner in
reaching 1000 Test runs during his lengthy occupation of the crease.
was a day of irresistible, fluctuating Test cricket in which two young men
flaunted their precocious talents to the world, while one dogged campaigner
showed what can be achieved with a hefty dose of grit and a well-marked guard.
SHOT OF THE DAY: With Aamer rampant, it
took an ungainly swipe from Broad to put the seamer back in his place, locating
the beer tent over square leg with a shot he knew very little about after
receiving some chin music.
STATS OF THE DAY: It was the fifth time in
history, and the first for England that numbers four, five and six of a middle
order all fell for ducks. Pietersen, Collingwood and Morgan will be proud men
standing in their ice baths (well, wheely bins) this evening.
in stark contrast, Broad and Trott's partnership currently stands just three
runs away from setting a new England record for the eighth wicket.
USER COMMENT OF THE DAY: If Trott and Prior can keep
their heads, when all below were losing theirs and blaming it on the toss.
If Swann and Broad can build a lead, hit the ropes, but not breath a word about a loss.
If Jimmy and Finn can hold an end, compose themselves and find some shots.
If they can fill their ending moments with 60 runs or more; they'll perk us up, give us hope and, what is more, they'll be men my sons.
(Glenn does his best Rudyard Kipling
impersonation, while swilling back the burgundy.)