Is anyone other than Cowers getting a bit tired of the whole Monty Panesar show?

The Luton Bore took his own particular brand of crazed appealing to a new level in the first Test at Lord's, begging to the umpire like a four-year old desperate to go pee-pee.

Now Monty claims his rabid-eyed, maniacal arm-flailing is down simply to his "love of the game". Nothing to do with a breath-taking ignorance of the basics of the LBW law, then?

At this point, Cowers is prepared to admit to possessing a decent level of dislike for Panesar, stemming from an interview he did with him last winter.

If

Andrew Flintoff went into Lancashire's County Championship game against Sussex looking to increase his dismal batting average of just over five. Mission accomplished.

Problem is, Freddie fell, caught sub bowled Rayner, for six.

The greatest all-rounder in the world has gone longer without a decent score than a jailed narcotics baron, and has no chance of being recalled to the England side to play South Africa on Thursday.

Which is good news for fans of rewriting the record books, as it means England will become the first country ever to pick the same side for six Tests on the bounce.

That no

It is bitter-sweet news that the West Indies Cricket Board cannot sanction the $20m match between England and Sir Allen Stanford's Caribbean team after a High Court ruling.

The WICB lost its case against team sponsor Digicel, who claimed it was effectively a West Indies match and they should have full branding rights — a ruling that reportedly put the entire series in jeopardy.

The High Court also ruled no West Indians on central contracts are free to play in the match — which means no captain Chris Gayle and star batsmen Shiv Chanderpaul and Ramnaresh Sarwan.

No doubt, that makes England's

Winter is a strange time for a county cricketer. After a frenzied six-month spell through the summer when they flog harder than a 15-year-old boy with a Playboy Pamela Anderson special edition, a fallow six-months suddenly looms.

Until a few years ago, taking up a temporary job selling Christmas trees or delivering yellow pages were the only way the honest county pro could make ends meet through the cold, dark winter.

Nowadays, the Indian Cricket League is offering a way out for those players not good enough to make an international tour, or too lazy or bashful to play club cricket abroad.

Ryan Sidebottom capped a memorable year last night by being named England's "overpriced official mobile phone provider" Player of the Year.

Britain and the Netherlands have the fewest bank holidays among EU countries with just eight, compared with Spain and Portugal which have 14.

So Cowers would like to nominate today as a Ryan Sidebottom National Holiday.

So don your ginger wigs, roll over your left arm and tell your boss, you are going down the pub to celebrate.

Here's ten things you need to know to celebrate Ryan Sidebottom Day.

1) He has his own song, to the tune of Robin Hood:

22:20 - Eng 236-5 (88 overs): And that's all she wrote for a strange opening day in Jamaica that has seen Flintoff plod to 43 and 51 overs of spin bowling. Back at 2.45pm tomorrow for the next surreal installment, honours about even on day one.

SCORECARD

GALLERY

22:00 - Eng 227-5 (84 overs): Powell and Edwards will have the last seven overs of the day as the partnership approaches 50 without any real trouble. Freddie Snail Watch update: 35 off 120 balls. It's like watching Chris Tavare but effective. kestephenson - Chanderpaul is from Guyana and those black patches under his eyes are either

Thanks for joining me for this pleasing day for England; make sure you stick around for all the latest news and reaction. 

England 198-4 (52.5 overs): FLINTOFF WINS IT WITH A SIX! Freddie wins it with a booming straight drive down the ground off Harris to seal the win! Handshakes all-round; South Africa win the series, although England salvage a consolation victory. 

England 186-4 (50 overs): Flintoff is the new batsman; he looks keen to get the match over and done with, but is content to block out from Harris for the time being.

England 182-4 (48.5 overs): PIETERSEN OUT! The skipper gets an

The most exciting thing to happen in cricket since the retirement of Chris Tavare is upon us - yes, the all-singing, all-dancing Indian Premier League gets underway this afternoon.

When the idea was first floated, surely no-one could have predicted the staggering interest that the player auction generated in Mumbai.

And in the two months since, the IPL has been getting as many search engine hits as Jenna Jameson.

So first the basics:

Eight city-based franchises, owned by a host of businessmen and celebrity consortiums
59 Twenty20 fixtures between today and June 1 culminating in