Aussie cricketers clearly don't do long, drawn-out retirements.
Damien Martyn announced his intention to retire from international cricket mid-series, days before he was due to line up in an Ashes Test against England in Perth.
A couple of weeks later, Justin Langer said he would be calling it a day at the end of the Sydney Test...just one day before it started. Now Stuey Macgill takes it a step further and quits mid-way through a Test match.
At least when Adam Gilchrist did something similar, his was the final match of a series. Macgill didn't even afford the selectors that luxury - Australia still have a Test remaining in their current series in the West Indies. Someone will be frantically stuffing jock straps and sun-cream into a suitcase as Cowers writes.
The recurring line from retiring players is always: "I just knew it was time to go."
If "knowing the time right" was the only criterea to retirement, Cowers would have jacked it all in years ago for a life in a small cottage by a river in the south of France: breakfasts of Camembert and red wine; mornings spent reading Flaubert and Camus in a hammock with a glass of vino at his side; afternoon trip to the local vineyard; before long and leisurely dinners of venison bourguignon with a bottle of the local tipple to wash it all down.
At least Macgill's retirement chat was a little more insightful than that.
"One of the treats for a bowler playing Test cricket is that you have a champion bowling up the other end," he said. "Bowling with some of crickets all time greats such as Glenn McGrath, Shane Warne, Jason Gillespie and Brett Lee has made my job a lot easier. I want to be sure that exciting young bowlers like Mitchell Johnson enjoy the same privilege."
Macgill should try telling that to poor old Muttiah Muralitharan or Danny Vettori, two guys who have never come close to enjoying said privilege.
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You'd think Macgill's retirement should bring sighs of relief from England fans looking forward to the 2009 Ashes. After all, the leg-spinner has over 200 wickets in just 44 Tests at the best strike-rate of any modern spin bowler, just 53, and has an incredible 39 wickets against England in only six Tests.
The problem is, Macgill's retirement could prompt the return of Shane Warne...and that's the last thing England need.
Only last month, Warne said: "If Stuey MacGill fell over and broke his leg, and there were no other spinners around, and Ricky came out and said, 'Mate, can you please help us out for this one-off tour? We need you', that is something I would weigh up."
With the Aussie spin-cupboard as bare as a barbie doll and Warne in top form in the IPL, Cowers doesn't think it will be too long before Macgill finds himself with his leg between two slats on the bed-board and Ricky Ponting stood over him with a Grey Nichols asking him to lie back and think of Australia.
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TALKING POINT: Retirement; where do you plan to spend yours?
LIVE: County action, and the fourth day of The Stuey Macgill Memorial Test Match from Antigua,