There was mild surprise when Manchester United sold Gerard Pique back to his first club Barcelona in the summer.

Here was a young, strong and technically accomplished defender with the potential to develop into Rio Ferdinand's heir.

So why did United let him go? Because it turns out he spent most of his time at Old Trafford asking Sir Alex Ferguson for a number 35, egg fried rice and spring rolls.

And if Pique's view of China is anything like the Spanish basketball team's, a swift exit was assured.

"The gaffer, as Ferguson is known in Manchester, spoke in English with a Scottish accent and

With 13 of the 16 Champions League group qualifiers already
decided, Early Doors suggests some ways to liven up the final round of matches.

ED has spent enough time slagging off the Champions League
and thinks it is time to give something back, so get a pen and paper ready,
Monsieur Platini, the following 600 words could be the key to your re-election
as UEFA president.

As things stand, all Matchday 6 will be good for is the
formality of Chelsea, Roma and Panathinaikos booking their places in the
knockout stages.

The group stage anti-climaxes on December 10 when Groups E
to H play their final

Arsenal's Carling Cup exit at the hands of Burnley
gave new meaning to the phrase 'The kids are alright'.

They're alright, but not great.

As you might expect from a team made up of Mexicans,
Spaniards and assorted glove-wearing teens, it was a cold Tuesday night at Burnley that tripped them up.

Incidentally, why is it always Tuesday nights that are cold?
Is there scientific evidence to back this up?

Having fielded 11 young shavers for the 3-0 win against Wigan in the last round, Wenger blotted his copybook with
the selection of 31-year-old Mikael Silvestre, who single-handedly
raised the

Fact one: Liverpool have
not won the league for nearly 20 years.

Fact two: Liverpool are
top of the Premier League.

Fact three: Liverpool were
booed off last night.

Rarely can such depression have engulfed a team that has
just gone to the summit of the Premier League table as after last night's
goalless draw between Liverpool and West Ham.

Given lack of recent success, you might think they would be
thrilled to be top of the pile - instead negativity wafted around Anfield like
a stale fart.

Liverpool fans feel that, with their history
and resources, they should be contending regularly for the

There is a moment
in The Producers when the two main protagonists realise the best way to make
money out of a Broadway show is to make it as completely, disastrously
unsuccessful as possible.

And so they set
about making the worst musical they possibly can, a fawning and ridiculously
camp portrait of a certain Nazi leader, sub-titled: 'A
gay romp with Eva and Adolf at Berchtesgaden'.

Early Doors would
like to know: Has the last month been Rafa Benitez's
answer to 'Springtime for Hitler'?

Did he sit down with Rick Parry, Tom Hicks and George
Gillett over Christmas and, after one Harvey's

Early Doors got into work thinking it was fully briefed on
the morning's news, only to discover
that the early edition of its ubiquitous free newspaper carried no mention of
either Kaka or Didier Drogba.

Fair enough, ED supposes, when it had to make room for the
story of the drunk district judge who forcibly kissed a solicitor in court and
told a prosecutor he was "a f***wit".

And the baseball bat-wielding thug who was given a reduced
jail sentence because he is so fat.

Against such mighty news, two of the biggest potential
sports stories of the season pale into nothingness.

So please excuse

If you were logged on and expecting to see this blog at its
usual 'early' time, then you obviously live above your place of work or the
concept of a job is a distant memory or an abstract concept to you.

ED had to use an old pair of winklepickers to plough its way
through the snow, and it's not the only one who has been well and truly stymied
by the weather.

While the weekend's on-pitch action is all over with, many
of today's last-minute transfer dealings could be scuppered by snowfall like
something out of rubbish climate change epic The Day After Tomorrow.

There will be Belgian teenage

Friday began like any other
day at Eurosport-Yahoo! Towers. Ravanelli the office carrier pigeon (think
about it) swooped through the skylight around 6am and dropped off the day's football
news wrapped in bamboo scrolls.

Chefchenko the office cook
arrived soon after, delivering our daily fare of passion fruit, oysters and
bellinis, before heading over to serve Rupert Murdoch's heathens their blood
pudding and Nesquick in the East End.

As usual, the scrolls offered
up mostly inane and predictable fodder - Beckham this, Robinho that, Benitez is
a lunatic...just your day-to-day dross from planet