Things they wish they had never said, no. 376:
"Imagine the worst situation - we lose Fabregas and Nasri. You cannot convince people you are ambitious after that. You can't then pretend you are a big club because a big club holds on to its best players and gives a message to all the other big clubs that they can't come in and take our players."
That quote from Arsene Wenger, blurted out last month, now adorns the back page of every newspaper, taken as proof positive that Le Professeur has lost it.
It even provoked Sky Sports News's Charlotte Jackson, only half joking, to say: "It's official. Arsenal have announced they are no longer a big club."
Yes, Wenger's 'big club' prouncement could go down with Neville Chamberlain's promise of 'peace in our time' as a moment calamitously lacking in foresight.
Not that ED would equate Arsenal dropping out of the top four with the Second World War.
Of course, Wenger is not the only man looking a bit silly this morning.
How about Samir Nasri himself, who said last October: "We have more merit as a club than those who have built their teams with millions."
In other news, Nasri has just penned a £175,000-a-week contract with Manchester City.
Still, as one hero leaves, another emerges - step forward Emmanuel Frimpong, the mohawked enforcer that bossed Arsenal's game against Liverpool on Saturday.
Or at least he did for 70 minutes, until he received a red card that had, frankly, been coming since the opening whistle.
But what has really endeared him to Gooners is his on-the-button reaction to Nasri's departure.
It has become the customary to wish your ex-team-mates all the best, even if you hated their breathing guts.
Cue Robin van Persie: "All the best @Nanas08 @ your new club Thanks for the good stuff!"
And cue Jack Wilshere: "Good luck to my friend @Nanas08 (mr Nasri) learnt a lot from him. World class player! Will be missed!"
And cue Emmanuel Frimpong: "Pffffff come on Jack"
What a legend.
And to top it off, Frimpong aimed this barb at Piers Morgan who, when not listening to voicemail messages left by ex-Beatles, likes nothing more than a bit of Tweet-jousting with Premier League footballers.
@piersmorgan Ur my bestest Friend If I ever score ill dedicate it to you :)*hugs*
What's not to love about him?
On his Twitter profile, next to the unexplainable catchphrase #DEEEEENCH, Frimpong declares: "I Love Arsenal F.C more than The Person That Founded it"
Noble sentiments, but they could look a bit silly in 18 months' time when he signs for Manchester City.
As for whether Arsenal are still a big club - ED would merely point out how much everyone is enjoying their suffering.
That's the true mark of a big club.
- - -
Yesterday also brought us an extraordinary sequence of events, where the present lack of a league has proved no obstacle to entertainment.
It was reported by Canal+ that Jose Mourinho was considering quitting Real Madrid over the club's perceived lack of support for him - they quoted the Special One's spokesman Eladio Parames.
Strange, since Mourinho has never needed anyone else to do his talking to him. Doubly so, since Parames denied the quotes attributed to him.
Canal+ stuck to their guns but refused to publish the interview - this, it turns out, was because it took the form of some text messages, which gave Parames the perfect get-out/truthful explanation.
He blamed the mix-up on his old pay-as-you-go phone, which he said had made its way into the hands of some rascals who decided to get in touch with Canal+.
So far, so farcical.
Enter Mourinho, who then pledged his loyalty to Real on the club's official website by way of the most paranoid open letter of all time.
It is worth repeating in full:
"Only those who don't know me can dream, make up or believe I may leave Real Madrid at this stage...
"I believe many people were surprised by the quality football showcased by Real Madrid during the preseason and it would be surprising news to them if I left the club now. Impossible!
"I have a fantastic President who is very intelligent and with whom I have a great friendship. I also have a Director General who works for the club 24 hours a day, so my motivation is enormous and my Madridismo is even greater than that of some pseudo-Madridistas...
"There is no way I'm leaving. No way!
"I also wish to apologise to Madridistas, and only to them, for my attitude in our last game. Some people are better adapted to the hypocrisy in football than I am, and they hide their faces and speak in whispers deep inside tunnels.
"I'm not learning to be a hypocrite, and I don't want to.
"Best wishes to all. We'll see each other tomorrow at the Santiago Bernabeu Stadium."
Among the nuggets of madness, ED's favourite is: "They hide their faces and speak in whispers deep inside tunnels," which sounds more like a Leonard Cohen lyric than something a football manager might say.
Anyway, all you really need to know is he's not sorry for poking Tito Vilanova in the eye.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Nobody used to want to come and play at Ewood Park. It used to be hell. But right now everyone wants to play Blackburn. A lot of things have gone - that spirit we had to win the game for the fans, for the manager and for ourselves." El Hadji Diouf lays into Blackburn boss Steve Kean.
FOREIGN VIEW: £21.8m. That's Samuel Eto'o's pre-tax salary for the next three years (and this being modern Russia, income tax is only about 10% for the mega-rich).
8 per cent of the GDP of the Marshall Islands.
0.16 per cent of the GDP of Cameroon.
10 times his own weight in gold.
6 years at the seven-star Burj Al Arab hotel in Dubai.
Enough money for Arsene Wenger to scour the market thoroughly and decide there's no value out there.