When Mario Balotelli whipped off his shirt on Sunday to reveal the slogan 'Why always me?' Early Doors couldn't help but think of the Joker's famous query in The Dark Knight: 'Why so serious?'
Like Heath Ledger's famous dramatic construct, Balotelli has now become an iconic anarchist, a compelling character who operates outside society's usual constraints and defies parking tickets at every turn. He is also unmistakably a joker. Perhaps the finest English football has seen.
Which, coupled with recent escapades, made him the perfect man to be unveiled as Manchester City's new (and presumably hastily arranged at the instruction of the club's PR machine) firework safety ambassador on Monday.
Given the news that emerged on Saturday, it smacks of making Keith Richards the face of an anti-drugs campaign. However, this is a development ED wholeheartedly endorses, and indeed we should not stop there. Balotelli is surely destined for bigger and better things in public life.
First off, why not make him an MP for Manchester? SuperMario has already demonstrated he has important, potentially revolutionary ideas about the welfare state with his strong track record of dishing out money to tramps. Here is a man not frightened to redistribute the wealth, even if it occurs directly, and via suitcases full of cash.
And education, education, education? Lest we forget Balotelli personally visited a Manchester school to halt bullying.
If you think talk of political ambition sounds ludicrous, he already appears to have hit the campaign trail if reports of him driving round Manchester city centre in his Bentley convertible, dishing out high fives, are correct.
Frankly, he would make a far more compelling politician than the identikit goons in Westminster, just as long as they don't introduce ceremonial bibs in the House of Commons.
In fact, ED will not be happy until there is a 50-foot gold statue of SuperMario in every town in England, his face adorning every public billboard in the manner of Kim Jong Il. Never would a cult of personality have been so richly deserved, and he already commands the kind of public approval ratings rarely seen outside North Korea.
Everybody loves Mario. In fact, it has reached the stage where if you don't, you are either dead inside or you might be Joey Barton, who ED suspects is devastated at losing his crown of being the most intensely discussed Premier League footballer.
Exhausted of Nietzsche quotes, our former favourite is now reduced to recycling Smiths lyrics on Twitter. Let Mario never suffer such indignity.
Worryingly, there are signs that Mario isn't taking his status as the Single Greatest Person in England seriously. Because when being unveiled as City's firework ambassador, he adopted a very sombre tone indeed.
"It is important children should not mess with fireworks," he said. "They can be very dangerous if they are not used in the right way. People should follow the firework code. The newspapers got the story wrong about me. I didn't set any fireworks off, it was a friend of mine. I didn't know anything about it until I heard shouting coming from the bathroom. My friend apologised to me for the damage to my house. It was a really stupid thing to do."
Seasoned Balotelli watchers will know however that this ostensibly sensible statement is surely just a prelude to more madness.
After all, wasn't it only on Friday that ED was lamenting the news that our hero had moved out of town and had adopted a more mature persona?
"This is down to me; it's me that changed my life," said Mario. "I don't live in town any more. I'm outside now so it's more quiet. I try to stay at home more. Maybe I'll stay in now with my family, my brother or girlfriend. It's quieter now but also I am growing up."
Inside 24 hours he had reportedly committed his greatest act of lunacy yet when almost burning his house down the day before the Manchester derby.
Even at his unveiling as a firework safety ambassador lay a detail to savour, a promise of yet more escapades.
"Even when I have had bad moments they (City fans) have supported me," he said on Monday. "But I don't care what people say about me. I am focused on my football, my manager, girlfriends and my family."
Girlfriends plural? Just how many members are there of Mario's harem? This awkward dynamic is pregnant with possibility, if you'll excuse the pun. The quote also reminded ED of Royston Drenthe's famous statement when asked how often he had sex. He replied: "with my wife, you mean?"
There appears to be some concern that people will get bored of Mario, and that he may at some point jump the shark. But given in his case that would probably be a very literal scenario, it appears unlikely we will grow tired of him any time soon.
The sanitisation of English football and oppressive media training means the Premier League is full of James Milners, nice as he is. Here we have a gloriously unhinged heir to Best, Gascoigne and Cantona. Now start building those statues.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "There appears to be some confusion regarding my attendance at an opening of a pet shop today in Surbiton. For the avoidance of doubt, I had not agreed to attend the opening of this or any other shop today. I had been asked if I would consider the opportunity and declined on two separate occasions. That is as far as the matter went." - John Terry has some big issues to contend with, what with those accusations of racism at the weekend, but he has also been forced to respond to suggestions that he left hundreds of fans disappointed by failing to attend the opening of pet shop Reptile Kingdom.
FOREIGN VIEW: A bit of a strange one, this. Remember former France international Tony Vairelles? You know, sent off in a Champions League game against Arsenal at Wembley in 1998? No? Well, you might be hearing a bit more about him in the coming weeks as he has been arrested on suspicion of attempted murder.
A non-fatal nightclub shooting resulted in three security personnel being injured on the outskirts of Nancy. Police said that Vairelles, 38, was part of a group ejected from the club for being drunk earlier that night.
The group was alleged to have returned to the venue with baseball bats: in the fight that ensued, staff sprayed tear gas and one man opened fire with a rifle. One doorman suffered non-critical injuries to his torso, while two others suffered minor injuries. The four men are due to appear in court on Tuesday.
COMING UP: It's the fourth round of the Carling Cup this week and on Tuesday night we have live coverage of Aldershot v Manchester United, Arsenal v Bolton Wanderers, Cardiff City v Burnley and Crystal Palace v Southampton. Plus, on the continent, we are also covering Granada v Barcelona, Sevilla v Racing Santander and Juventus v Fiorentina.
We will take another sideways glance at the Premier League weekend with our Hot or Not video, while Tuesday's whistleblower will also take a look at some contentious decisions in QPR's 1-0 win over Chelsea on Sunday afternoon. On top of that, we bring you our latest update from the Euro Club Index and, if you can stomach it, the England cricket team try to avoid a 5-0 series whitewash in the final ODI against India.