A week ago, a major satellite broadcaster was full of the importance of Liverpool versus Manchester United.
It argued, with apparent sincerity, that the fixture's history and rivalry made it the biggest game in English football.
So Early Doors was confused when it saw Chelsea versus Manchester billed as "the biggest game of the season so far".
Alex Ferguson, meanwhile, spent the build-up trumpeting his biannual skirmishes with Arsene Wenger.
"If you look back over the last 12 or 13 years, who has it been? - Arsenal v Manchester United, Manchester United v Arsenal," he said.
"Of course we've got Chelsea at the moment, that's without question, but the history of Arsenal versus Manchester means that you're not just talking about winning a football match, you're talking about your own history against the other team's history."
Good news for the Sky hype machine when November 8 rolls around.
They should stop beating around the bush, take a leaf out of John Lennon's book and declare the fixture bigger than Jesus.
Their trailer could feature the Messiah returning from ankle surgery with shiny green boots and a deep mahogany tan, shimmying his way past several opponents before diving to win a penalty.
As for yesterday's game at Stamford Bridge... well, it was OK.
Chelsea were more powerful but lacked the subtlety they might have had if Deco had been fit. And Robinho might have helped.
United, despite their seven yellow cards, looked short of a Michael Essien-style midfield enforcer and a goalkeeper.
Edwin van der Sar has morphed into one of the most staggeringly hapless keepers this side of Massimo Taibi, Tomasz Kuscczak failed to punch the ball away for the Chelsea equaliser, and Ben Foster cannot seem to visit the gents without spraining, twisting or rupturing some part of his body.
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Last month Stuart Attwell became the youngest man to referee a Premier League match. Today he is the chump who awarded the stupidest goal of all time.
During Reading's game at Watford, the ball was bundled wide from a corner and a goal-kick signalled (the wrong decision, in fact, since it came off John Eustace).
As both teams ran back down the pitch, assistant referee Nigel Bannister flagged furiously and somehow persuaded Attwell the ball had gone in.
If you haven't seen it yet, you should really look it up on a popular video sharing website as it really is unbelievable.
Watford's Eustace reacted to being charged with an own goal by describing the decision as "shocking", "ridiculous" and "embarrassing", while no less an authority than Stephen Hunt called it: "Probably the worst decision I've ever witnessed in football."
According to Watford manager Aidy Boothroyd: "It was like watching a UFO landing."
So, obviously young Attwell is set for a lifetime refereeing in the Belper and District Under-13 Reserve League? Apparently not.
The Professional Game Match Officials board leapt to the 25-year-old's defence, insisting: "The referee has got no way of knowing for definite at the particular time whether the ball has crossed the line for a goal."
Well, other than the abundant visual evidence that the ball has gone a yard-and-a-half wide, the complete lack of celebration or appeals from Reading, and the fact that an attacking player attempted to clear the ball "off the line". Other than that, no way at all.
The PGMO simultaneously threw Bannister's career under a passing number 47 bus by saying the hapless linesman "made a human error".
For his part, Bannister was supposed to have blamed "an optical illusion" for his mistake.
Early Doors is still trying to work out a way of blaming Dennis Wise for the fiasco.
Newcastle's Prince of Darkness turned up at Vicarage Road - perhaps on the lookout for a new manager, a new Kevin Doyle or indeed a new job - and it may just be possible that his aura of evil affected Bannister's vision during that crucial goalmouth scramble.
Wisey's attendance might indicate he wants Steve Coppell to take the worst job in football, and he must have been impressed by Reading's cynical refusal to step aside and let Watford score an unchallenged equaliser.
Coppell's explanation left ED wondering if he doesn't have a secret life as an undercover agent: "If someone stops you in a car park and gives you a present, you don't say 'no' do you?"
Not unless it's tickets to 'Mamma Mia', you don't.
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George Bernard Shaw once said: "You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race."
Clearly the great man never saw the betting opportunities afforded by people's conviction that their country is superior to all other countries because they were born in it.
But the drinks are on Early Doors tonight after it won a packet backing Britons (and continental Europeans) to bottle it at major sporting events.
ED witnessed a small moment in betting history as Alex Bogdanovic - he of the nought-and-eight Grand Slam record - found himself odds-on to win a match at Wimbledon.
Once Bogo had gone a set up, ED lumped big on the other guy (who it had never heard of) then sat back and enjoyed another trademark meltdown.
And that Ryder Cup gamble on the United States came in. A clue: when they're playing in Kentucky you need to bet on the blokes called Hunter, JB, Chad and Boo; not Ian, Henrik and Robert.
While Early Doors would love to join in the chorus of criticism of Europe skipper Nick Faldo, it can't help but feel it is all slightly absurd.
People are upset that Faldo put Europe's 'big guns' at the end, and by the time their matches came to a climax it was already game over.
But if you're going to score 11.5 points to your opponents' 16.5, does it really matter in what order you score them?
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QUOTE OF THE DAY: Alex Ferguson believes his new assistant Mike Phelan has a lot to learn about the art of influencing match officials. In this case, Phelan missed an opportunity to explode a balloon in the vicinity of referee Mike Riley: "[He should have] burst it under Riley. It might have woken him up."
FOREIGN VIEW: Jens Lehmann has infuriated residents near Stuttgart's training ground in the small town of Berg by flying a helicopter to training everyday.
The likeable ex-Arsenal man, who lives over 150 miles away, has landed in the town centre on several occasions, and Berg's mayor has had enough.
"Numerous people have already complained," said Ruper Monn. "I hope that Mr Lehmann will cease to land in the town in future, otherwise I will speak to him personally."
"We did not have these problems with Ballack."
COMING UP: An acolyte of Early Doors has been beavering away compiling our Team of the Week spreadsheet since dawn. He is glumly totting up marks out of 10 while listening to Radiohead songs. It is a pitiful sight. For his sake, please read and enjoy Team of the Week.