Coronation Street's resident corner shop owner Dev Alahan, aka method actor Jimmi Harkishin, is growing increasingly suspicious about who burnt down the Rovers Return with wife Sunita already condemned as a dead arsonist in Britain's favourite soap opera.
But we have to wait until Friday to discover the outcome of Dev's thoughts or where his investigations might lead (spoiler alert...Karl Munro is the guilty man, officer) because of England's 1-1 draw with Republic of Ireland at Wembley Stadium last night that was piped out by ITV1.
Sunita might be already toast along with the boozer, but she remains a lot more alive than these vexed international friendlies.
These were 90 minutes that had you hankering after Corrie, or watching Britain's Got Talent, a show that was also shipped out last night to accommodate an episode of Britain (and Ireland's) got no talent. Or certainly limited technique. And appetite for such outings in the remains of another season.
Goodness knows how many players are going to be able to take their minds off the Copacabana Beach when the England squad fly out for their friendly with Brazil in Rio de Janeiro's rebuilt Maracana on Sunday?
It reminds you of that scene in Mike Bassett: England manager when Bassett's character, played by Ricky Tomlinson, is sinking lager, sambuca chasers and anti-depressants. He stands on a table to tell a shocked Pele in a packed Brazilian bar with a bellyful of liquor: "You were the greatest striker in the history of football...take a tip from me, it's all about upper body strength...I'm off me head, off me head."
There was plenty of muscle contributing to last night's melee at Wembley, but very little nous. All aspects of the British and Irish game that were all too depressingly apparent at the Euro 2012 finals last summer were all ingloriously on view at a Wembley characterised by vacant seats.
The former England forward Gary Lineker was concerned about the product on offer from Hodgson.
"Brazil will thrash us if we line up the same way," said Lineker. "Even though results haven't been great, I felt tactically England were maturing, but this is a step back to the dark ages of two lines of four.
"I don't like England playing this system. So easy to play against. Predictable and dated. It's not about playing in straight lines, it's about playing between the lines. Depth gives flexibility, passing alternatives, creativity."
For figures such as worldly coaches in the shape of Hodgson and Giovanni Trapattoni, there seems to be a point in handing players the chance to play together in such experimental fixtures. Just not in the last few days of May when Wayne Rooney is already trying to work out where best to sink a piña colada at Sandy Lane Barbados. Or wherever millionaire footballers head during the close season on odd summers.
"Very much a competitive match this for Ireland, and the fans," bellowed ITV commentator Clive Tyldesley. Or words to that effect. The Irish fans certainly made enough noise, but after a rousing all-German Champions League final, and Championship play-off final, this was strictly the third-rate match on display at Wembley over the past week.
"Sloppy rather than entertaining," was how ITV's puzzled host Adrian Chiles described the first half. That was being kind. At least Chiles should know. It was perhaps an apt description of his doomed stint on Daybreak.
Amid the usual rash of changes in the second half, what did we learn on a mundane night at Wembley that mimicked the gloomy skies overhead? West Bromwich forward Shane Long can header a ball from some distance out. As he should as a Premier League forward. We learned that Frank Lampard is in perhaps the best form of his life with a sixth goal for England in six games.
We also witnessed Ashley Cole captain the side on his 102nd appearance for his country, and snare a golden cap from Hodgson as a reward. Unfortunately for England, Liverpool forward Daniel Sturridge will not make it to Brazil due to the ankle injury he picked up.
The best Irish performance on the night apart from the excellent Seamus Coleman came from pundit Roy Keane, who went further by claiming the second half was shocking with the type of look on his face that made you wonder if he had just bumped into Alf-Inge Haaland at the pie stall.
Keane made good viewing, as he always does during his stints, in lamenting Glen Johnson's abilities as a defender.
There was none of the madness that accompanied the previous meeting of the teams in a friendly at Landsdowne Road in Dublin back in 1995 when crowd violence forced a match to be abandoned. This time was much more civilised.
A solitary flare was hurled onto the park in the first half serving only to endorse the lack of flair.
QUOTE OF DAY: “I have spoken with my agent and saying no to Real Madrid would be difficult. I am happy with Liverpool, I love the club, I have nothing but praise for the fans, but this year was very difficult for me, my wife and my daughter. I have spoken to Brendan Rodgers, and he knows what I want. I have a family, a daughter and I am not prepared to continue this way with the English press.” The right honourable Luis Suarez apparently suggests he might not be at Liverpool next season. It was the press who sunk their teeth into Branislav Ivanovic. Don't believe everything you see or read in the papers.
FOREIGN VIEW: "It is true that Manchester City has shown much interest in me to be their coach and I have had conversations with them. There should be no problem, but until things are signed I cannot say it is done." Manuel Pellegrini of Malaga seems to be on his way to Manchester City to succeed Roberto Mancini as manager.
COMING UP: We have the latest goings on from around the world of football while our LIVE French Open tennis coverage continues.