Such has been David Bentley's descent into anonymity at Tottenham that he couldn't even get arrested.
Can you see where ED is going with this?
The Spurs midfielder was charged with drink driving after crashing his Porsche into a lamp post at 3am this morning.
It seems that The Sun were first to the story, but their article contains two major errors: firstly, reporting that he was driving back to his home in Cuffey, Herts (it's actually Cuffley) and, much worse, they described him as 'England soccer ace David Bentley'.
Bentley's career has been so "ace" that the last of his nine England caps was almost a year ago, when he came on for the final 10 minutes of the 2-2 draw against the Czech Republic.
Nowadays he would be hugely grateful to even get an ice-cool nod of recognition from Don Fabio if they passed each other in the corridors of FA HQ.
The 24-year-old's international career can definitely be described as chequered. In 2007, while still at Blackburn, he withdrew from the England squad preparing for the European U21 Championship.
With half an eye on the senior Euros the following summer, Bentley cited exhaustion for pulling out of the squad, to which U21 boss Stuart Pearce responded: "I don't agree with it in any way, shape or form.
"It means everything to play for England - when it suits. For me, representing your country is not about what suits you, it's about what suits your country, whether it be on the sporting field, whether it be in the armed forces."
Imagine going to Pearce - a man who once tried to play on after breaking his leg - and telling him you couldn't play because you wanted to be fit for another tournament that was a year away.
Bentley has also failed to impress another old-school task-master, Harry Redknapp, and soon found himself bumped down the pecking order once the Ramos reign of terror came to an end.
Redknapp is now desperate to offload Bentley, the final straw being his penalty shootout miss in the Carling Cup final.
There has even been rumour that he has resisted fielding him so as to avoid triggering another payment to Blackburn for making a requisite number of appearances in his first season.
Aston Villa had been interested in taking Bentley and Jermaine Jenas off of Spurs' hands (talk about all your Christmases coming at once), but now that career-saving move looks in jeopardy.
Today's news is a sad development in the career of a player who, at one time, many were agreed and happy with the prospect of him easing in David Beckham's England place.
In Bentley's apology to his employers and fans, he said: "This has been a wake-up call for me both personally and professionally."
Perhaps this will be the low ebb from which a talented and engaging young player will rise from and look back upon as the moment everything started going right. It's time for Martin O'Neill to pick up the phone.
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EMPTY PLATITUDE OF THE DAY: "We have made offers and shown interest, obviously that is seen by virtue of the bids we have put in. But they have been rejected and Everton are fully in their rights to do that, we respect that." Man City boss Mark Hughes respects Everton's right to resist their overtures towards Joleon Lescott as he puts another £5m in used 50s through the money counter.
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