Stoke midfielder Liam Lawrence's knacked ankle, sustained tripping over his dog, is the latest in a grand tradition of freak injuries.
Today's Early Doors is the latest in a not-so-grand tradition of list features masquerading as quizzes. Eyes down...
1- In a parallel that says everything you need to know about the difference between English and continental goalkeepers, Dave Beasant and Santiago Canizares both injured themselves after dropping glass bottles and attempting to 'control' them as they fell.
What was in each player's bottle?
2- What, apart from dodgy haircuts, do Rio Ferdinand, David Seaman and David James have in common?
3- Who was driving when David Batty was run over, damaging his Achilles tendon?
4- In spring 2006, what did Lomano Lua Lua do to jeopardise Portsmouth's chances of escaping relegation?
5- Who is the odd one out - Darius Vassell, Paulo Diogo or Charlie George?
6- Some players are so injury-prone they can't get out of bed without hurting themselves. In 2007, which Reading player didn't even get that far?
7- Which goalkeeper injured his shoulder falling through a loft, then twisted his ankle warming up after tripping over a sign telling him not to practice in the goalmouth.
8- Which World Cup-winner recently dislocated every finger in his left hand falling into a gap between two dugouts during training?
A clue: On waking from the operation to fix his hand, he blamed the pitch and declared: "I will make war against anyone who tries to stop me from playing in the national team."
9- Brazilian striker Igor broke his leg after a set-piece went wrong in 2006. What happened?
10- What was Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney doing in 1975 that left him with a broken jaw?
11- What was New Zealand batsman Jesse Ryder doing at 5.30am when he severed a tendon in his hand in February?
12- In 2002, golfer John Daly used what unusual treatment when a piece of glass that was embedded in his hand started to work its way out?
13- In 2002, a rugby league player discovered something belonging to another player had caused an arm infection. What was it?
14- The exponents of which sport have collected all of the following injuries?
- Scalding from ironing a shirt while still wearing it.
- Stab wounds to the stomach from attempting to open a DVD with a knife.
- Vision problems from wiping chilli oil in eyes.
- A mouth injury sustained after eating a microwave donut.
- An arm strain from playing too much 'Guitar Hero 2'
15- Match the sportsperson with the animal that caused his or her injury:
A) Tennessee women's basketball coach Pat Summitt
B) Former Scotland manager Ally McLeod
C) Colorado Rockies baseball shortstop Clint Barnes
D) Norway defender Svein Grondalen
1-Dog; 2-Deer; 3-Moose; 4-Raccoon
Answers at the bottom of the page.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Berbatov kept telling us he had a 'dream'. Well, good for you Dimi, you had a dream with a few extra noughts added to your bank balance. But don't you think Spurs had a dream too? Don't you think that when they bought you and helped you blossom into one of the best strikers in the world, you had a duty to reward them by helping them fulfil their dream. You got your way but your poisonous presence at the start of this season - the pouting, the brooding and the reluctance to play - has cost the club that believed in you." Terry Venables sticks his not inconsiderable oar into the Dimitar Berbatov 'situation'.
FOREIGN VIEW: Having failed to spend a world record sum on Cristiano Ronaldo, Real Madrid have decided to splash the cash on an aeroplane. They are paying 600,000 euros a year to lease an Airbus A320. Apparently King Juan Carlos also has one. (Marca)
COMING UP: Champions League agogo. Eight games tonight, including Manchester United, Arsenal and Celtic. It's all at 19.45 UK time except Zenit St Petersburg v Real Madrid at 17.30. So don't say nobody told you.
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1- Dave Beasant - salad cream; Santiago Canizares - aftershave.
2- All three injured themselves watching the television.
3- His infant son, riding a tricycle.
4- Performed his elaborate somersault celebration without realising he had injured his ankle - Lua Lua had promised not to perform the somersault until Pompey were safe.
5- Paulo Diogo - Vassell and George damaged toes with a drill and a lawnmower respectively. Servette midfielder Diogo ripped off his finger after getting his wedding ring stuck in railings while celebrating a goal in 2004. He was booked for excessive celebration.
6- Leroy Lita, who tweaked a nerve in his leg stretching in bed after waking up.
7- Richard Wright.
8- Gennaro Gattuso.
9- Igor and team-mate Bechara botched a free-kick routine and both went to strike the ball, colliding and breaking Igor's leg.
10- Shouting at his defenders. It should be remembered that United were rubbish in the 70s.
11- Trying to break into a locked nightclub toilet.
12- Superglue. Daly said: "I don't care if it's unwise medically. I'm not going to watch it bleed."
13- A tooth that had got lodged in his arm in a previous game.
15- A-4, B-1, C-2, D-3.